What the hell just happened.....

Okay, I'm a month out. Doing well. My inlaws are visiting and it's my daughters birthday. (My worst nightmare come true right now). 

I made Guac for an app and had a few bites not even a whole chip, I licked it off (yeah gross) But no biggie...made Italian Sunday gravy and baked ziti, had a half of meatball and half of sausage, no pasta....not bad. 

Served ice cream cake, left the kitchen, didn't even lick the spoon!!! AWESOME

BUT THEN HOURS LATER.... I ate some BBQ potato chips that were out and four bites of potato salad!!! AND....omfg a twizzler!!

what the heck? It's like I snapped and went nuts. I tracked every bite in MFP to stay accountable but seriously... What the hell was that?? It was my first test with entertaining.... And I failed...

I'm mad and even more that that disappointed and a little scared that my stomach handled all of t like a pro, just the classic burp or two. 

Tell me to move on and tomorrow's a new day...

man, I still can't believe it!

I'd be more worried about your stomach being ready for chips.....you are more brave than me!  You are already back on track because you realize what a huge mistake you made on  your choices of junk food.  Move on and don't touch twizzlers and chips tomorrow. 

You've got this!

Thanks, I'm still in shock!! Heading out for a nice long walk!

Do yourself a favor...  mention this entire episode to your therapist/counselor.  She should ask you to rate (on a scale from 1 to 10 , including a decimal place like 6.2) your binge experience in severity.  Then, break apart the different episodes of the day...  your child's birthday, the kids,... then rate your inlaws being there and experiences with them.  Group them by severity level and determine if there is anything that jumps out at you.  It could be a culmination of everything but, in my experience, it is usually 1 or 2 things that lead to the binge.  **Even if it is just being deprived of those things...  Key in on the thought of deprivation and talk with your therapist about it.

Juniper

Thanks, good idea!

Yah, weird,huh...It's like we expect our new tummy to be our...posse...our "Tonto"save-me-side-kick...and ,  when it isn't,  we're somehow surprised and disappointed.   Welcome to the reality of WLS... it's all on you ( yah, and I mean Me, sister).   It's all ok-- no real harm done... consider it homework, and lesson learned.  Hugs- bonnie

Thanks Bonnie. I just can't even believe it. Didn't have these feelings at all yesterday it was like I snapped! 

Going for a walk now to help the guilt!

I think you did snap and I have done the same thing. For me, it happened because ,even though I was making the correct choices in front  of others, I was still feeling resentful and deprived,so I had a mini binge because of that. I would sneak and eat it ,did you sneak?

Not really. I was standing right in the kitchen and starting talking about what I just did with my husband right after. It was like 6 BBQ chips. The twizzler was in the car with my kids. UGH

I know I have will power but how long it will last I have no clue!!!!!! In the 3 months since my surgery I had mother's day haters day my 14 yr old bday my 11 yr old bday and my husband's bday!!! All had cakes chips all kinds of thing and I'm ok with that I even baked the cakes .. but they all knew eat what you can that day cause in the morning what ever is left is going in the garbage... and i have and will continue to stick to it forever....  not just for me but for for them also they don't need either... and I'm not going to break !!! So get ride of it all!! :-)   good luck!!! :-)

♡ Kelly