Help Me Name My Hemorrhoid

*warning - graphic and silly self-effacing post* I'm thinking of calling him Rob (he's robbing me of peace and the experience of a satisfying bm right now).  I was constipated for a while and then in the process of finally cleaning out my system, I acquired my new little friend.  I've never been prone to them before, but this guy keeps visiting from time to time over the last year or so.. In effort to make light of the situation, I'm going to name the little bugger.. so... either Rob, or Phlame (he burns), or maybe even Uncle Fester... hee hee. (seriously though - anybody else have these doggone problems post wls?) Any ideas on names??

There is an account about an "anal fissure named Bob" floating around the internet, you can probably find it easily by googling.  IT IS HILARIOUS.  And painful.  Look it up. Actually, I did it for you: http://zug.com/scrawl/analbob/analbob2.html

OMG!  I just read all about Bob.  I've laughed so hard I cried my contacts out.  Thanks for the laugh!

i think PIMA for pain in my azz!   also you dont really know if its a boy or a girl so PIMA is a gender neutral name. thanks for my laugh today! hahaha   lora

Michelle - Sorry you're going through this.  I've had 'roids before, because pre-op, I had IBS w/diarrhea, but fortunately, no episodes post-op.

My vote for his name is JOHN, because that was my ex, and he was a royal pain in the patootie! Hope you're feeling better soon!  Thank God you still have your sense of humor!!! Take care, Teresa

I've divorced mine, but you can have his name if you want.

Oh my goodness - I never had this problem in my life - even through 2 pregnancies and deliveries.  But since starting to take iron 2 months ago, I started taking metamucil once or twice a week, just to keep things moving.  Well - I missed the metamucil once or twice, and I think I got a hemorrhoid (still not sure cause I never saw anything when I looked "down there").  But I was in so much pain, I couldn't even find the humor in it.  It kept me up at night, woke me out of a sound sleep.  And I couldn't even sit still.  I actually thought I might throw up from the pain on 2 occasions.  I think I finally have it under control - back to the metamucil and lots of preparation H, but whew - I don't ever want to have that issue again!!

earl? homer? oh oh i know.. bubba!

How about "Andy".  Short for "andROID" Debbie

How about Itchy.    or Rhoid    Or you could have your own Hemmi as in the car commercials.  You could probably get T Shirts  - I got a Hemi People would just think you were real proud of your truck!