Changing inside and out!

Yesterday, I looked at myself in the mirror while I sat at the kitchen table and I thought to myself I look small. The first time in my weight loss that I actually thought I looked small. I could only see my upper body, I am quite disportionate. My top is much smaller than my lower half about three sizes smaller,lol.What is funny is that I am afraid to say anything to my friends because I can tell that some of them already seem a little jealous of me. If people give me too many compliments they say, dont tell her that she will get a big head. I am kinda surprised. All my life I have been the fat girl with the cute face who is friends with all the pretty girls, the nice side kick. Now that I am finally losing weight, hopefully others will think I am pretty( besides my wonderful husband and kids), my friends seem somewhat jealous. I told my friends I want to lose another 100pds, they said is that realistic, you should be happy with the weight you have lost. Dont get me wrong, my friends have been great support , my best friend flew here to be with me when I had my surgery. It just seems the closer I get to looking like them , they kinda lose their happiness for me. Maybe it is my imagination. I have always said that being healthy and living longer is the reason for my surgery but I also want to look better. I want to be on my husband's arm and have heads turn. I want his friends to envy him for a change and not make fun of his big fat wife. Anyway, I was just thinking about all this stuff this morning. I sure all will work out ok, as i lose weight all kinda things run through my mind. I have not weighed this much since high school, wow!!

I agree this is where we find out who our true friends are. I have two friends that have stuck by me through thick and thin, literally. They are so proud of me and it shows. I saw a good friend of mine yesterday that lives far away and she spinned me around to see me and was so excited that I had lost this much weight, it felt so good to know that someone was proud and not mad about it. Deep down I think our husbands want a wife that turns heads too. Teresa

I am sorry but reading this and what teresa said made me cry. I know that feeling of not wanting to be the funny dependable one but fitting in. I am only 9 weeks post op and down 65 lbs I have always been the biggest in my family.I started at 366. Yesterday at Easter dinner now my sister in law is the biggest. She wouldn't even eat with us. She didn't even talk much. I felt so bad when I was on my way home. On my way to moms I told hubby and kids I can't wait to get there I won't be the (fat) girl anymore I am still big but you know what I mean. I never made any coments or anything but mom huged me and was proud I went from a 30 dress to a 24 for the 1st time in 20 years. but it truely upset my sister in law. I don't want to hurt her along my journey but I do want to get these great resposes when people see me. it makes me feel so good. Not sure how to help her threw this but It does truely hurt my feelings to think I am hurting hers..Tammy

Tammy...there is nothing you can do about your sister in law. This is her problem, not yours. I learned long ago not to stress over something I have no control over. I have one of those in my family also. My heart goes out to her. Whenever I walk into a room, her denfense shield goes up. She starts right in about how dangerous this surgery is and how SHE will never have it done and how SHE will just go on a diet and lose it the 'hard' way. But in the 19 months since my surgery, has she done that? No. She has probably gained another 50 pounds. I never initate a conversation about my loss in front of her...never. But I don't shy away from answering questions or talking about it if someone asks. She will puff up, roll her eyes and leave the room. She avoids me like the plague. Like you, I hated it that I was obviously a thorn in her side. Well, I'm over it. And you will get over it too. I've learned that I can't change anyone, or give unasked for advice, but if I can influence or inspire someone, that is important to me. Its no use fretting over someone who is so jealous of my success they feel they must put down my methods or treat me like crap because of it. I just don't allow it anymore. I always make sure I come face to face with my sister in law at some point and be courteous and smile and ask how she is. How she deals with that is up to her. You will get those great responses that you want. At 19 months out...and at goal for about 10...I still get those great responses. Just keep doing what you are doing...continue to lose and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Direct your energy inward....it will help you and maybe eventually even help your sister in law. Go easy on her....she's having a tough time dealing with 'losing' you. Hang in there Love and Hugs Charlie The Old Surfer Girl

Charlie I just looked at your pic on your profile. YOU ARE SKINNY. YES VERY SKINNY. You look marvelous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an inspiration you are.

We aren't responsible for what others feel, but I think talking about it one on one is a better solution than ignoring it. Just be yourself, try not to rub it in as you lose weight and your true friends will still be there when this journey has been completed. We have our place in every relationship and as we lose weight it will effect every relationship. Some people will be able to deal with the change and others will not be able to handle it. My decision is to try to maintain all relationships, but if they become toxic then the person wasn't really my friend. Some people might have chosen us subconsciously simply because we made them look good in comparison. When that is no longer true they can't deal with it. Best of luck to you on your continued success.