I have recently had my surgery.  start wt 258(2/15/10) current wt 217
It was a big decision.  I have showed good results and feel great.  I am in dire need of a new wardrobe and have always loved nice clothes.  So as I loose weight I have been giving my clothes to my sister who has struggled with weight as I have.  Difference is that I am trying to do some thing about it for myself. My sister has been very nasty to me.  Is disgusted that I am giving her my clothes, never ever wears what I give her.  And has been calling me pet "fat "names.   This is a personal choice, I don't expect her to do what some see as drastic measures, I am happy with my decision, only regret is that I didn't do it sooner than 35yrs old.  I am careful not to put it in her face, I am much more sensitive than that, but Easter was not fun.  She watched everything I put in my mouth and commented as I ate my morsels. Should I address this?  Before I began my journey, I even took her to the informational meeting with me thinking we may want to do this together.  So now what?

She's jealous...sibling stuff. She'll either get over it or get on board with it. I'd stop giving her the clothes tho- If she isn't wearing them and she's possibly insulted by it, maybe she thinks that is a way of rubbing it in her face. I'm not saying it's ok...

Everyone watches what I eat too. I think it's that they're interested and want to know if they could do it too without the surgery. Maybe she's trying to emulate you without asking you for help.

I feel bad tho that you don't have your sister's support. I don't have a sister, altho- I do count great friends as sisters and mine are wonderful. I have 4 daughters and hope someday that they support each other no matter what the situation is. Yours may still come around, it's still early after your surgery.

I know you will get a lot better advice from others... I am just going to say Keep your chin up girl.... You can't change her only yourself.  Stop giving your clothes to her because it makes her feel bad.........  (my opinion)  let her see the stellar job you are doing and maybe in the future she will head down this same road... it is hard to see your sibling lose weight.... my older sister did it 3 years before me.  She lives in SanDeigo and I live in Oregon...we never see eachother except photos!! I cheered her on when she did it...and she is now cheering me on! 

Give your clothes to the Goodwill and just smile when your sister says snarky things.
You are doing really well, and it's probably making her crazy.
Chances are she is a good person, and she's probably hating herself for being so vile.
But that doesn't mean she will be getting over it any time soon.

So just give her some space.
She will eventually get over herself.

Sibling rivalry is never over, I swear!

It sounds like you're doing the right things all except for giving her your "fat" clothes. I used to hate it when people did that to me - you are almost forced to accept them with a smile on your face because they're being "nice". Give them to Goodwill or sell them on eBay. It's just making her feel worse. 

She'll eventually get over it - or decide to "compete" by dieting or having WLS - just wait her out.

I can identify with the giving clothes portion of your post. I recently gave some of my plus-sized clothes to my sister-in-law (who is very close to where I was before WLS). I wondered why she seemed irritated but took the clothes anyway. I guess she probably thought I was "bragging" in a way. Next time, I will donate my clothes!

Lynn

First off - even though you may feel it is nice and generous to give your "fat clothes," to your sibling,  in reality it is reminder her that you are losing weight and that she is still fat.  It is like rubbing someone's face into the fact that they are overweight because with every article of clothing you are giving her (you are joyous at losing the weight) and it is a reminder of how dismal and overweight she continues to be.   Really if the shoe was on the other foot how would you feel being on the receiving end of her old fat clothes?  Personally, it would make me sad.   To keep peace - give your clothes to charity or sell them online and don't mention how much weight you've lost or what size you are now.   Maybe she will decide to have the surgery once she is comfortable with how well it is working for you.

I went through (almost) the same thing. Two years ago my best friend had WLS and as she would lose the weight she would try to give me her old clothes. I totally understood why she was doing it and that her heart was in the right place, but at the same time it was just a reminder that she's getting skinny and i'm still in "fat clothes". There was a little jealousy but I got over it, it was too petty to let it affect our friendship! Now i'm in the process of trying to get my WLS done and guess who has been helping me along the entire way? My best friend. My advice is to not talk about it very much and if she ever has questions to be there for her.

Oh sweetie, first of all: CONGRATS to you! My RNY was a little over 2 years ago and I would do it all again in a heartbeat. I did not have a jealous sibling, but I do have friends that reacted this way. It does hurt. The best advice I can give you is this: live your life. Your sister makes her own choices. Maybe she regrets not doing the surgery. Maybe she wants to see how you do first, bu****ching while you lose weight so quickly is killing her. Whatever the reason, it's not on YOU. I would not give her any more of your clothes for the time being. I totally understand that you are giving them to her because they are nice clothes, and you want to do something nice. But look at it from a different view: it could be taken as a slap in the face. I know a lot of people who sell their outgrown clothes on cosignment; I personally did not want to mess with that. If you want to give them away and really do some good, take them to a local battered women's shelter. Often these women need to go out to look for jobs and have nothing to wear for interviews.

As for the name-calling: the next time it happens, tell your sister in no uncertain terms that you love her, but you will not tolerate verbal abuse. If she continues, leave. She will get the point. As far as watching everything you eat, well, you might want to get used to that. I have had to lovingly but firmly tell my friends and family that did that at first that they are not my doctor,nor my "food police". I am resonsible for everything that goes in my mouth, consequences and all.

Congrats again on your decision and your journey. It IS a journey, and no one ever came back from a journey and said it ws smooth sailing all the way, right?

Stop giving her your "fat" clothes. Get rid of them online (try your local Yahoo Freecycle group or Craigslist if you want to make some money).

Passing your clothes onto her is just another way of saying, "I'm too small for these now, but you're still fat, so you can wear them!"

She'll either come around or she won't. You can't control the way she acts or the things she says, but you can control the things you're doing and the way you're reacting.

Hope things get better for you soon. It sucks when family members don't support you 100%.