Taking a stand.

If you're that fragile, you shouldn't have WLS. It's too big of an upheaval for a very fragile person. The fragile person needs to get solidly stable first. It really is that simple. It took me seven years of twice a week therapy before I could sit in the same room with the subject of my weight and my eating, another three-plus years before I could engage in any meaningful therapy work in that area, and a good four solid years of damned hard work before I was in any position to consider that kind of change. So nobody can tell me I don't know fragile, or the kind of work involved in getting stable.

Some of us have had bad outcomes and those of us who have should share.   To a point.  And always bracketed by the hope,  probability, and the fact that there are ways to cope.


Why should those of us that had bad outcomes only share "to a point"?
Should we only tell about the things that aren't too bad?

With that logic my story should be.."well I got a couple month vaca with little to do and the dancing mariachi men were GREAT entertainment."

Instead the reality was I was bed bound and hallucinating that those damn mariachi men were trying to kill me.

Of course there are ways to cope.  There is hope.  The truth of the matter though is that these things happen and people need to be aware of it.  All of it.  There also needs to be that support and communication for those of us that are swimming around in murky waters.  Hopefully yours and others pools will stay sparkling clean. 

I think that an important part of becoming empowered is making decisions based on all of the information that can be obtained. If I choose to go into something without knowledge of all of the possible complications because someone deemed me "too fragile" to take it, is that allowing/helping me to empower myself?

I understand your point, and I agree.  We walk a fine line here.  It is vitally important to know the good, the bad and the ugly.  We need all the information we can get.  But like you, I do think we need to be sensitive and aware of the tone we use when presenting info.

Hear hear ******g HEAR.

I thank you for posting this. I think its important.

I know someone who had RNY and could not handle the changes. He went through all the necessary appointments regarding getting surgery including seeing his NUT and having a Psych Eval. All seemed ok and he went through with surgery. Lost weight but could not fight his food addiction even with therapy.

He could not deal, and begged for a reversal and he said he would not live like this anymore if they didn't. Thankfully he got his reversal because I believe that he would have done something  to himself  :(


So thank you. Its a very real thing.

I know I am a newbie here but have been reading the postings and stories.  I have read the good, the bad and even plenty of the ugly.  At my psych eval, after mentioning how much I have read and what about she seemed to think I have done enough investigation for myself.  I do not scare easily but do agree that everyone will go through emotional changes through this journey and they only can benefit from counseling after the journey.  I had recently told one of my friends who has not been supported that sure I was scared to have the surgery and what can happen, but am damn terrified to live one more day at this weight with the knowledge of what will happen.  It is more than the co-morbidities that I currently am experiencing.  My dad died at 52 from a third heart attack, my mom died Feb 3rd this year of years of obesity problems.  What ever the case may be, everyones journey is their own.  The fact we can share them to help others is priceless.

 Beautifully put and welcome!  This is such a welcoming and supportive place!