165 lbs later, my husband doesn't care that I lost it all... WTF?

 I have been with my man since 2004 and he has loved me at 220, 250, 320, and my largest, 349. He wants me to be healthy and happy and truly loves me for who I am. He has been supportive thank god! Sounds to me like he gave you a compliment, but in a roundabout way. He did acknowledge that you are thin and cute! Is he not very romantic or mushy? Talk it out and I bet you'll feel better. Good luck! 

It sounds to me like he didn't want to put his foot in his mouth.  Think about it: if he tells you he's happier than it sounds like he didn't love you before; if he tells you there's no difference, then you feel like all your hard work has gone un-noticed!

I think it's sweet that he looked for an off handed way to give you a compliment!

I am sure it was meant as a compliment.

I have a geeky husband too so it totally sounds like something he would do. I have been married 20 years and although I am hearing that he notices already he has been more that clear that it is what is inside that he married (when I was 135 lbs) and he loves me now (232) and when I was 276!

I was even surprised when my 16 year old daughter said it didn't bother her that I was overweight and she hasn't cared a whole lot that I am losing. I sure she doesn't mind, but it has been a non-issue.

I'd take that as a compliment... if how small you are doesn't register in his mind is a testament to how much he values you as a friend and partner. He values what's on the inside and all that.

What if he answered:
"Yeah, man I really like you now that you're not all fat and stuff."

Seriously, what he said was a good thing.

You're putting WAY too much thought into this. My husband has never once commented on my weight loss withou tME asking about it, and even then, he consistently assures me he doesn't really care because he fell in love with me when I was morbidly obese, loved me at 320+ pounds, and still loves me now. End of story. Face it, we are LUCKY - no need to cry about that!

could it be it started out as a compliment, which it is, then he realized oh **** I'm in a quagmire she's going to ask what I thought when she was heavy and clammed up?

kind of like the minefield when you ask him if something makes your ass look big?

i think he loves you, is proud of you and is a little geeky

 Of course, you are totally right -- he stepped in it and then had to find a way to back out gracefully!

Thank you!

He is kind of like my husband.  I needed a new driver's license because I did not look like mine or my passport (and was going to Mexico for vacation). He did not think I needed a new driver's license because I just looked like a thinner me and was making too big a deal out of it.

I whipped out the driver's license and showed him and his face got all scrunched up and he looked at me and said.

Baby, I do not EVER remember you looking like this.

Which tells me - he does not look at me with his "eyes" ya know?   And this is NOT a man who would lie to you to save your feelings.  

He sees you with more than his eyes, with his heart and always has.  He is aware about how you go about in HIS life and in HIS world.

His even asking you how you felt to be thin and cute was probably his geeky version of a sonnet.  :} 

Way different love langauges and processing is what yall have.  You are loved girlie. 

 Wow what a story -- You are totally loved!  And what a great guy!

And I genuinely laughed out loud at the idea that this was his equivalent of a sonnet!

Thank you!

 Oh my, HE is the one who brought it up. I'd say he thinks about it A LOT. 

You know, losing all that weight for me, it was a big emotional adjustment. I actually lost weight much faster than my head could process the changes. I think other people were also dumbfounded. I constantly looked to friends and family for validation. Sometimes it came, many times it didn't.  

My best guess is that hubby is overwhelmed at your changes, but may not have the words.

What is most evident is that he loves YOU.

You can TRY pulling a cogent explanation out of your hubby, but you may get very frustrated. Sometimes, they just don't speak the same language as us.  

Thinking of you,
Pam