Did obesity rob you of your Dreams???

This is an interesting response...but I will look at it in a positive way, thank you.  However, since my abuse occurred within the structure of an over zealous fundamentally Christian home, I have issues with the "God's Love" thing....that's just me and no reflection on anyone else's belief system.

What I forgot to mention in my original response (because I just responded to the OP's question) is that I have done many things in my life, despite being obese.  When I married I weighed 112 lbs...I was not obese until my mid 20's when I became depressed and at the same time was put on depo provera for endometriosis and put on over 60 lb in about 5 months...this started the vicious circle of dieting, re-gain, depression, self loathing.

I learned to ski at 30 and continued to ski into my mid-40s, until my knee issues made it impossible.  I skied double black diamond slopes and a few yellow diamond slopes (caution) in some of the most challenging ski destinations...Tahoe, Mt Bachelor, Sun Valley, Utah, etc.

I played on a co-ed softball team for about 15 years from age 30-45...played catcher and left field

I coached Little League baseball for several years in the '80s; winning the league championship one year and tying for first 2 years...I think we lost a total of 6 games in 5 seasons.  Many of those boys are in contact with me through Facebook...

I traveled to many international destinations.

I owned and operated a successful restaurant, working up to 100 hour weeks.  We manufactured over 1000 lbs fresh pasta per week, made all our own sauces, soups, salads and gourmet sandwiches.  We had a thriving wholesale and catering  businesses.  I literally ran my ass off for those 12 years and built many great relationships with the community, my former employees and customers that are still part of my life today...I sold the business when I almost lost a couple of fingers to the slicer one day...done and done.

The hurt from my childhood has been dealt with, excepting my mistrust of organized religion...my therapists have told me that I am lucky to be alive (there were other victims who were not so lucky) and sane.  As a 9 year old girl, I was told, by our church's minister, that my mother should stay with my abusive father, since he came before me...this after over 7 years of daily physical, emotional and sexual abuse.  If I felt un-valued before, those words certainly did nothing to reassure me...I was taken from my home and detained in the juvenile detention center in Los Angeles for 4 days where I was given cottage cheese and baloney to eat 3 times per day and treated like a criminal...I weighed 50 lbs and wore a size 6x, though I was tall for my age. 

Unfortunately when a child is hurt over and over again for as long as they can remember, the toxic waste of memories is there and there is no way to remove them...it is important to acknowledge those events and put them in perspective.  To deny them is to deny a big part of who I am and how I became the strong, successful and mentally healthy person I am today...I have raised two wonderful kids and am an active participant in my 7 grandchildren's lives...

I also have mentored many young women who have suffered as I did and helped them to get the help they need to become healthy, going on to marry, have children and succeed in life.  I have seen the other side of the obesity coin, eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia that can occur as a consequence of sexual abuse. 

I hope that before I am too old, to be able to finish my writing about my early childhood and the enormous ripple effect it has had on my family....the actions of one have caused devastating repercussions in my family.  Obesity is just one small part of that effect.

It is a mistake to believe that every person we meet will carry the same value system, religious belief or perspective as ourselves....

I appreciate your intent, thank you again.

Sorry. What I posted was definitely the WRONG thing to post in your cir****tance. I can't blame you at all for having the view you have about religion considering how that played such a major role in your abuse continueing.

It's ok Maria...you didn't know.  I am a stickler for accountability, backing up one's facts and full disclosure, though...might explain a few things??? 

I think it robbed me of finding the love of my life and getting married. Yes I know it can still happen but now I think I'm too shy and don't know how to meet anyone. I also think it robbed me of some self confidence. 


Julie

Do you go to a WLS support group? This is a great way to socialize with others that understand you. Might help overcome some of the shyness?

Don't  lose your dreams. You have lost so much weight and you have the opportunity for a much better life now!

Good luck!

I wanted to be a wedding planner, but thought that no one would take fashion & design advice from a fat chick. So, I helped out friends with their weddings, and I helped make some dreams come true for others. It helped.

Now to mean that is one that could be a dream job/job from hell! Would be awesome to organize and create an awesome wedding (especially for the ones with unlimitd budgets!)..........but then again.............some brides are BRIDEZILLA'S!!! lol

I've been lucky. The one friend who was a bridezilla didn't really include me (because of my weight). My other friends, though, had great weddings on a shoestring budget.

If you know what your doing you can have a great wedding on a shoestring budget.

Don't u love to watch Platinum weddings sometimes though? Awesome arraingements!

If I was a wedding planner that's is the kind I would want to do. I think I would enjoy spending other ppls money like that, lol.