I am now officially a statistic.

Who says that he has to hang on to the house?  Think seriously about unloading the house.  I know in this economy that sounds unreasonable, but dire cir****tances call for certain measures. 

I felt much the same way as you did.  Beth, one of the things you have to realize is that during this period there ARE going to be hard feelings.  No matter how hard you try to avoid them they are going to be there.  Angry words are going to be said and no matter how strong the marriage was in the past, and how much you want to hang onto that closeness for the kids, **** happens.  It just does, I wish there was an easier way to put that.  You aren't angry and there is no reason for you to be.  But you are stressed and you are incredibly overwhelmed right now.  That is breeding grown for dissention within the family.

I really really think you should head down to the local Social Services.  As hard as it sounds and most people don't want to do it, you need to do it.  You need to figure out what types of things you are eligible for.  Food stamps, Medicaid if necessary, HEAP (Heating Assistance) for the winter, there are programs offered through local Electric companies as well.  I'm not telling you to head down to the nearest food bank, but programs are out there for people who need them.  Figure it like this.  The state gets an allocation of monies that they have to use for low income or otherwise in need families.  If the individual counties or municipalities don't use that money they they lose it and it gets reabsorbed into the state funds again.  We are all entitled to these funds in times of needs.  It might not be for a very long time at all, but get what you are entitled to.  Families that don't really need it somehow scam the system to get it, at least you'll be on the up and up and only take what you really need.

If you get custody of the children then you will have to have a place to have them live as well.  I believe your husband is going to take that into consideration when he decides what to do with the family home.  These are the nuts and bolts of separation and divorce.  Most of the custody paperwork I have read have "prepackaged language" in them where all of these things have already been thought out.  SOMEONE is going to be paying child support.  If he gets the kids then you pay it, if you get them he pays it.  However, if you split custody 3 on 4 off, etc., then there will likely be no child support.

This all sucks ass!  Sometimes you have to put the emotions aside long enough to be able to see the forest for the trees.  You are BOTH thinking of the kids during this.  Not once have I heard you say "what about me".  Highly commendable, because you'd be surprised how people get ****ty during these things, and use the kids as pawns.  Kudos for you for taking the high road. 

It doesn't hurt to look into things that are going to help you survive right out the gate.  Afterwards you can look into local Higher Education vocational programs that allow you to perhaps do something out of the home that will provide a more substantial steady income for you.  Data processing, medical claims, medical transcribing.  All of those things are out there and if you are looking to move closer to a more populated area, you'd be surprised.

Good luck and try to stay positive.

Donna

 I am not on this house - no debt in my name.

We have to split custody -- I can't drive -- he's been Mr. Mom since 2008 with me, because the kids needed him to be.  

I'm in school - part time - but I am.  I'm taking courses in Marketing -- I'll have a degree eventually.  It helps me for what I do right now, but I understand that tangible skills would be awesome right now.

((Beth)))

(((((HUGS)))))    So sorry, Beth.

Prayers of strength and a hugs are on their way.  It's not easy, but you will do what is best.

Denise~

I'm sorry Beth.   I am sure you will get spousal support ($$) and child support to supplement your income....have you thought about Starbucks?  They have a great management training program and the benefits are amazing as a Store Manager.  Hang in there....

 I actually applied to BUX a while ago, they didn't want me.  Underqualifed to make your coffee - I don't know.  It could have been the timing - but it wasn't a good response.

 (((((((((Beth))))))) I read this last night and I closed my eyes and made a wish that when I checked in the morning this post would be gone and it was just my imagination playing tricks on me...  I kept thinking about you and your beautiful family and kept hoping .....I would be a liar not to say I was thinking OMG please make there be a way they could fix this and stay together as a loving family ... but who am I to think this ... only you know your situation best and I trust you will and are making the right /best decisions for you....I am sooooooo very sorry to hear this ... words fail me ... so instead of rambling on I offer a sincere helping hand in any measure that I can, I offer positive energy and best wishes for strength and courage that I know you already have to carry you through this.  

 Thank you.

I think we will carry on - just not together - in the same house.

Yikes, the only thing I can say is thank goodness you two are both reasonable and can still live under the same roof until you figure this out.  It's hard to figure out how you can be close to the house you now live in and be near public transportation.  Do you play the lotter regularly? I think you should start, oh then again how would you get to the store to buy a ticket?  Oh my, I feel for you but I guess I have no good advice.  I'll swing chickens for you and hope for the best.