Let the debate begin...
k9ophile
on 9/30/11 1:59 pm, edited 9/30/11 2:13 pm
on 9/30/11 1:59 pm, edited 9/30/11 2:13 pm
Did you read any of the comments blasting fat people and the fork lift driver in particular? They were very mean spirited. I do believe that Ms. Batt's comments were quite appropriate in the context in which they were written. She wasn't belittling anyone on this forum. Somehow it also chapped my ass to see so many nasty comments stated in poor grammar and spelling. As if it's OK to be stupid when making fun or bashing fat people because being stupid is better than being fat?
However, you probably aren't going to like what I say because I do cringe when I see poor grammar and spelling on this forum. WLS is very serious and sadly, I have seen too many failures because of non-compliance. That, and what seems to be a basic misunderstanding of just how serious WLS aftercare is. Anyone who does not research the options and pick the best surgery for them is asking for trouble. As is anyone who doesn't understand the absolute necessity of aftercare. When I see a poorly written post it isn't often easy to tell if someone is just too lazy to write in proper English or is poorly educated. If it's the latter, then perhaps WLS isn't the best option for them. I agree that being a snob is unkind. So is encouraging someone to do something that is harmful. Sometimes the kindest act is to discourage someone from doing something that will ultimately do more harm than good. WLS is not a divinely given right or protected by the Constitution.
ETA: I just re-read Ms. Batt's original comment. She said she was opposed to WILLFUL ignorance. There is a difference between being stupid and choosing to be stupid. That one genuinely does not understand something is way different from one who closes ones eyes and plugs their ears while singing, "La, la, la; I'm not listening and you can't make me."
However, you probably aren't going to like what I say because I do cringe when I see poor grammar and spelling on this forum. WLS is very serious and sadly, I have seen too many failures because of non-compliance. That, and what seems to be a basic misunderstanding of just how serious WLS aftercare is. Anyone who does not research the options and pick the best surgery for them is asking for trouble. As is anyone who doesn't understand the absolute necessity of aftercare. When I see a poorly written post it isn't often easy to tell if someone is just too lazy to write in proper English or is poorly educated. If it's the latter, then perhaps WLS isn't the best option for them. I agree that being a snob is unkind. So is encouraging someone to do something that is harmful. Sometimes the kindest act is to discourage someone from doing something that will ultimately do more harm than good. WLS is not a divinely given right or protected by the Constitution.
ETA: I just re-read Ms. Batt's original comment. She said she was opposed to WILLFUL ignorance. There is a difference between being stupid and choosing to be stupid. That one genuinely does not understand something is way different from one who closes ones eyes and plugs their ears while singing, "La, la, la; I'm not listening and you can't make me."
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us." Stephen Covey
Don't litter! Spay or neuter your pet
I admire you for not giving up. And I do realize that some people have disabilities that make communication difficult---those aren't the people that tick me off.
Without naming any names, the people I'm really thinking of are people who brag about being "highly successful" in their field, but can't or won't bother to spell, or use spell-check---instead they ramble in texting mode. Or they use big words they don't understand, then get mad when someone questions their meaning. There was a recent post that was so scrambled that half the people here asked the OP what she was talking about. Did she explain? Nope---she lashed out, got her panties in a wad, and blocked half the people here. Did she TRY to learn from the experience? Nope---she chose to remain willfully ignorant.
As for the children of migrant farm workes and how much education they actually get---my grandmother got a thrid-grade education. That's all---but she wrote a beautiful hand, read everything she got her hands on, and educated herself far beyond what most high school grads know today.
I'm just saying that many people DON'T try, DON'T value learning, and seem to avoid it at all costs. I applaud anyone who TRIES to learn, even if they don't have the capacity to become a rocket scientist. (Not that rocket science is all it's cracked up to be---I should know, I married a rocket scientist. *grin*)
Without naming any names, the people I'm really thinking of are people who brag about being "highly successful" in their field, but can't or won't bother to spell, or use spell-check---instead they ramble in texting mode. Or they use big words they don't understand, then get mad when someone questions their meaning. There was a recent post that was so scrambled that half the people here asked the OP what she was talking about. Did she explain? Nope---she lashed out, got her panties in a wad, and blocked half the people here. Did she TRY to learn from the experience? Nope---she chose to remain willfully ignorant.
As for the children of migrant farm workes and how much education they actually get---my grandmother got a thrid-grade education. That's all---but she wrote a beautiful hand, read everything she got her hands on, and educated herself far beyond what most high school grads know today.
I'm just saying that many people DON'T try, DON'T value learning, and seem to avoid it at all costs. I applaud anyone who TRIES to learn, even if they don't have the capacity to become a rocket scientist. (Not that rocket science is all it's cracked up to be---I should know, I married a rocket scientist. *grin*)
Yikes! What a nasty bunch of comments in that original article. Yes, it seems obese folks and gays/lesbians are running neck-and-neck as the last "acceptable" forms of prejudice, bad jokes, objects of hate. Let's face it, people, we live in a sick society. One where a person can be a hero if he can throw a football or baseball, but where police/firefighters/paramedics have to work two or three jobs to make ends meet. And look at our choices of "celebrities"--Kim Kardashian? Snooki?? You've got to be f-ing kidding me. In America it's all about looks and/or wallet size, not character, or ambition, or honesty, or kindness.
I wish I knew how to change it. Sure, parents educating their kids is one way, but we've got to step in and educate each other and make it NOT cool to make jokes about someone's weight. When somebody makes a tasteless joke, or crude comment, we've got to call them on it. Maybe if enough people do that, then the heartless/tasteless individuals will think twice before they open their ignorant mouths. Of course, the really tall order is making them realize who truly has the problem, i.e. look in the mirror!
I wish I knew how to change it. Sure, parents educating their kids is one way, but we've got to step in and educate each other and make it NOT cool to make jokes about someone's weight. When somebody makes a tasteless joke, or crude comment, we've got to call them on it. Maybe if enough people do that, then the heartless/tasteless individuals will think twice before they open their ignorant mouths. Of course, the really tall order is making them realize who truly has the problem, i.e. look in the mirror!
I agree with the poster who said that every single time we hear anyone make any kind of cruel remark like this against another human being we need to call them on it.
I have a sister in law who in the past has said some rally mean things about my weight. Her daughter joined in when she was about 12 or 13. Just nasty, mean things. Like, introducing my husband and I to a friend of hers as Mr. and Ms. Piggy! Well, this year at our family reunion, she was saying something about how slow the food line was moving, one of her male cousins shouted out at her, "Noma, from the size of you, it looks like you have already been through the line 3 times!" Several people in the room laughed (neither I, nor my husband did...) and I just looked him in the eye and quietly and as nicely as I could to him said, "Ed, that really wasn't funny." He said, "After all she has said about YOUR weight??? You're kidding me? You have lost so much weight and now SHE is fat... have some fun, girl." My husband told him, "Well that just means Rosie and I know how badly she feels about what you said. And, she now knows how we felt when she said it to us. Let's talk about something else, ANYTHING else." We then sat down and ate and played a game of UNO.
My sister in law came to me later and apologized (sp???) for the stuff she has said in the past. I told her, "Apology accepted."
I am no saint, I was very tempted to join in and just "let her have it". But, I just couldn't. I want it to stop. I just want the "stuff" to stop. It may not stop completely, but at least people will be hesitant to say it when my husband and I are around.
I have a sister in law who in the past has said some rally mean things about my weight. Her daughter joined in when she was about 12 or 13. Just nasty, mean things. Like, introducing my husband and I to a friend of hers as Mr. and Ms. Piggy! Well, this year at our family reunion, she was saying something about how slow the food line was moving, one of her male cousins shouted out at her, "Noma, from the size of you, it looks like you have already been through the line 3 times!" Several people in the room laughed (neither I, nor my husband did...) and I just looked him in the eye and quietly and as nicely as I could to him said, "Ed, that really wasn't funny." He said, "After all she has said about YOUR weight??? You're kidding me? You have lost so much weight and now SHE is fat... have some fun, girl." My husband told him, "Well that just means Rosie and I know how badly she feels about what you said. And, she now knows how we felt when she said it to us. Let's talk about something else, ANYTHING else." We then sat down and ate and played a game of UNO.
My sister in law came to me later and apologized (sp???) for the stuff she has said in the past. I told her, "Apology accepted."
I am no saint, I was very tempted to join in and just "let her have it". But, I just couldn't. I want it to stop. I just want the "stuff" to stop. It may not stop completely, but at least people will be hesitant to say it when my husband and I are around.
I got my sleeve on March 14, 2011. I love it so far!
Good for you for taking the high road.
I can imagine that it was not as easy as it sounds to keep your remarks to yourself because, as you said, you are only human.
By doing what you did, you earned a whole lot of respect as well as some great Karma points. LoL
I was just really shocked when I read the comments from people. The venom and condemnation was shocking...
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