Worst Christmas Present Ever Contest!
On December 10, 2011 at 11:19 PM Pacific Time, MARIA F. wrote:
Poor Josephine.
And love the suggestion to gift the brother the easy bake! lol.
Hope your sister has children like her now. :-)
I would find one of his favorite childhood toys like a green army man or a Hot Wheels car and partially melt it in the oven. Then decorate the whole thing in battery operated Christmas lights.
Unfortunately, her daughter is well behaved.
However, when she and her husband moved into their first house and bought their first "good" furniture from Ethan Allen, my mother climbed on her brand new couch and started jumping. She had always told my sister, who bounced off of everything," Some day when YOU have nice furniture, I am going to go to YOUR house and jump on it." And my mother did!
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Amy Farrah Fowler
on 12/9/11 3:30 pm
on 12/9/11 3:30 pm
My worst Christmas present wasn't from a person, and I wouldn't think even Santa would have done this to me, but I must have been really bad. 8 years ago I heard mewing on Christmas morning, and after much looking figured out it was coming from the crawl space. A feral cat had found a hole and moved her kittens in.
I had family coming, but I can't leave a stray. Ever.
I spent the next 5 hours slithering in the crawlspace, encountering one mummified rat, and after much getting of tools, rugs, etc for trapping cats, finally had the mother and all 8 babies. The babies were just as feral as the mother, and I learned that their tiny teeth are like a needles, and managed to get bitten many times, including one clear through my finger.
As a bonus gift I got a tetanus shot.
Then I followed up this fun day by defleaing and worming the cats, then carrying around the kittens in pockets for 3 weeks to get them used to people. My wonderful mother and husband also wore funky old housecoats around too, so they had big pockets to help, which was very nice of them. You could put one kitten in each pocket, and when you'd open the top and peek in, a teeny cat would quit purring and look up and hiss at you, lol. It was actually funny, but they tamed pretty quick doing that.
We actually managed for get homes for all the kittens after they were healthy and tame, and the mom didn't tame completely, but she did get a home in a barn as a mouser where she was spayed, fed and had a warm bed area, so it was eventually all good, but I DON'T want another Christmas like that.
I had family coming, but I can't leave a stray. Ever.
I spent the next 5 hours slithering in the crawlspace, encountering one mummified rat, and after much getting of tools, rugs, etc for trapping cats, finally had the mother and all 8 babies. The babies were just as feral as the mother, and I learned that their tiny teeth are like a needles, and managed to get bitten many times, including one clear through my finger.
As a bonus gift I got a tetanus shot.
Then I followed up this fun day by defleaing and worming the cats, then carrying around the kittens in pockets for 3 weeks to get them used to people. My wonderful mother and husband also wore funky old housecoats around too, so they had big pockets to help, which was very nice of them. You could put one kitten in each pocket, and when you'd open the top and peek in, a teeny cat would quit purring and look up and hiss at you, lol. It was actually funny, but they tamed pretty quick doing that.
We actually managed for get homes for all the kittens after they were healthy and tame, and the mom didn't tame completely, but she did get a home in a barn as a mouser where she was spayed, fed and had a warm bed area, so it was eventually all good, but I DON'T want another Christmas like that.
How about a contest for most depressing Christmas ever. I am sure I would win.
My family was Jewish and didn't believe in celebrating Christmas. They tried to make us feel better by telling us that we got 8 presents but it didn't help. Especially since they didn't really celebrate Hanukkah, either. They were just cheap. If there would have been dollar stores around then that is where they would have bought all our gifts.
I remember when I was about 8 or so all my friends would talk about Christmas and all the stuff they were getting. The worst part is they were all Jewish, too. Their parents still celebrated Christmas, tree and all. To this day I am sure the only reason my parents didn't celebrate Christmas is because they didn't want to spend the money. Believe me, they weren't religious. My dad was an Aerospace engineer. He could have afforded a few gifts.
I remember wanting to believe in Santa so badly, even though I was way past the age when most kids know better and even though I had never gotten a damn thing from Santa in my life. I convinced myself that on Christmas morning I would have presents like all the other kids.
So I woke up on Christmas morning and of course there was nothing. I was so disappointed. It was early, like 7 or so and I went out and walked around the neighborhood and looked in the windows at all the families celebrating Christmas and opening their presents. I felt like the only person in the world that didn't get anything for Christmas.
The thing that really ****** me off is my parents got divorced and my mother married an Italian guy and all of the sudden she became Mary Christmas. The house was decorated, they got a tree, the whole shebang. A little late for me. I guess she decided that Jews could celebrate Christmas after all.
My dad, on the other hand, married a woman from Israel and became Joe Jew. He went to temple all the time and was learning to speak and read Hebrew, observed Shabbat every Friday and was completely kosher.
My family was Jewish and didn't believe in celebrating Christmas. They tried to make us feel better by telling us that we got 8 presents but it didn't help. Especially since they didn't really celebrate Hanukkah, either. They were just cheap. If there would have been dollar stores around then that is where they would have bought all our gifts.
I remember when I was about 8 or so all my friends would talk about Christmas and all the stuff they were getting. The worst part is they were all Jewish, too. Their parents still celebrated Christmas, tree and all. To this day I am sure the only reason my parents didn't celebrate Christmas is because they didn't want to spend the money. Believe me, they weren't religious. My dad was an Aerospace engineer. He could have afforded a few gifts.
I remember wanting to believe in Santa so badly, even though I was way past the age when most kids know better and even though I had never gotten a damn thing from Santa in my life. I convinced myself that on Christmas morning I would have presents like all the other kids.
So I woke up on Christmas morning and of course there was nothing. I was so disappointed. It was early, like 7 or so and I went out and walked around the neighborhood and looked in the windows at all the families celebrating Christmas and opening their presents. I felt like the only person in the world that didn't get anything for Christmas.
The thing that really ****** me off is my parents got divorced and my mother married an Italian guy and all of the sudden she became Mary Christmas. The house was decorated, they got a tree, the whole shebang. A little late for me. I guess she decided that Jews could celebrate Christmas after all.
My dad, on the other hand, married a woman from Israel and became Joe Jew. He went to temple all the time and was learning to speak and read Hebrew, observed Shabbat every Friday and was completely kosher.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
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Tazz, we are long-lost sisters. My parents are non-practicing Jews, and we lit candles but DIDN'T get presents for Hanukkah at all. My father was a computer software systems analyst for the aerospace and defense industry, and I think they could have afforded a few gifts too. I HATED that we didn't celebrate Xmas - I kept trying to point out that we did Halloween, and it didn't make us Druids, so could we do the pagan tree and Santa fun stuff? (And we were four kids - my sister and middle brother have birthdays 9 days apart, and my younger brother and I have birthdays 14 days apart, so you guessed it - only two cakes a year.)
My mother's idea of celebrating Xmas was the after-Xmas sales, the True Jewish Holiday. We got clothes, but no toys, and of course nothing was wrapped.
Both of my husbands have been non-Jews. We always celebrate both Hanukkah (lighting the candles and making latkes - no presents) and Xmas too - not the Jeebus stuff, but the decorating and presents and dinner. BECAUSE IT'S FUN, DAMMIT!
(But, I will confess that the Hanukkah candles are lit in the dining room, and the tree goes in the living room, just in case there is a god and she doesn't have a sense of humor - I don't want the Xmas tree to catch fire from the Hanukkah candles.)
My mother's idea of celebrating Xmas was the after-Xmas sales, the True Jewish Holiday. We got clothes, but no toys, and of course nothing was wrapped.
Both of my husbands have been non-Jews. We always celebrate both Hanukkah (lighting the candles and making latkes - no presents) and Xmas too - not the Jeebus stuff, but the decorating and presents and dinner. BECAUSE IT'S FUN, DAMMIT!
(But, I will confess that the Hanukkah candles are lit in the dining room, and the tree goes in the living room, just in case there is a god and she doesn't have a sense of humor - I don't want the Xmas tree to catch fire from the Hanukkah candles.)
"...and of course nothing was wrapped."
I don't remember how old I was, but young enough that X-mas was a big deal to me. My mom was sick just before X-mas---I mean, gone-to-bed sick, which she just DID.NOT. DO. My dad therefore did all the X-mas shopping, but he just wan't up to wrapping things.
To this day I can remember the horrible sense of disappointment that morning when we got up and nothing was wrapped. Even worse, nothing was tagged, either, and I had this horrible feeling that none of the presents were really for ME. That's why I don't even tolerate 'gift bags' very well--WRAP the damned things, okay?
I don't remember how old I was, but young enough that X-mas was a big deal to me. My mom was sick just before X-mas---I mean, gone-to-bed sick, which she just DID.NOT. DO. My dad therefore did all the X-mas shopping, but he just wan't up to wrapping things.
To this day I can remember the horrible sense of disappointment that morning when we got up and nothing was wrapped. Even worse, nothing was tagged, either, and I had this horrible feeling that none of the presents were really for ME. That's why I don't even tolerate 'gift bags' very well--WRAP the damned things, okay?
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