It's time for Food Guilt.

 

It's time for Food Guilt.

Not only is today a day after a holiday, but it's a Monday!  (This post was written on Monday.)

This translates into an early-start to the "OMG! I NEED A DIET" posts on social media.  You're overwhelmed with what you might have taken in yesterday and and time between then and Thanksgiving and you are deep in The Guilt.   "THE FOOD, IT'S IN ME!"

Reminder:  It's just food.  Food is not bad.  Food is not evil.  Even cupcakes. 

bad ¹ [bad]  adjective, worse, worst;

1.not good in any manner or degree. 2. having a wicked or evil character; morally reprehensible: There is no such thing as a bad boy. 3. of poor or inferior quality; defective; deficient: a bad diamond; a bad spark plug. 4. inadequate or below standard; not satisfactory for use: bad heating; Living conditions in some areas are very bad. 5. inaccurate, incorrect, or faulty: a bad guess.

 Food cannot be bad. 

Food is a required part of life, and your part of life is to learn how to manage your own relationship WITH FOOD so that you don't see FOOD AS EVIL.   Calories may not all be created equal, you can make better calorie or food choices, but food, cannot physically be BAD.

  

Even if you ate more than two days worth of calories yesterday -- LET IT GO -- it's just food.  The statuses that you will see online today and for the next few weeks: 

• "OMG HOW MANY CALORIES ARE IN HALF A CANDY CANE?  I'm SUCH A COW." 
• "I am a pig, I ate _____________."
• "I need to work off that ___________."
• "Starting today, I'm back on my diet."

Quit it.

Self-loathing is not pretty.   Self loathing is an extreme self-hatred of oneself or your own actions.  "I can't believe I did/ate that, I'm such a loser."  For post weight loss surgery patients -- learning to live in a new body and successfully live as normally as possible -- it only makes us stand out more if we create food drama!  Just stop it.

Didn't you have weight loss surgery to be "normal?" As morbidly-obese individuals we stood out plenty, and life after weight loss surgery, we can reach a normal body weight and just BE.

You don't have to hate on yourself.  You don't have to deny yourself every pleasure of food, either.  You don't have to comment on other people's food choices or their size.  It's their cannoli, just shut up. 

Part of the holidays is (for many people, including your family and friends...) celebrating with/around food. You're going to have to get used to that -- if you want to be part of their "normal." 

Celebrating with food or around it not be what you want anymore, but for much of the population it is what they want.  If you do not want to partake, you have a choice to find something else to do or make your own good choices.  But, it is not our duty as weight loss surgery post op individuals -- to become the food police for everyone. 

(Note:  Do not do this to your family and friends.  They are not you, and they do not necessarily require your special diet or care.  I have learned that food policing does not work and often backfires It's up to each person what they are willing to do to take care of their own health.)

It's just food.  You make your own choices.  And never, ever... apologize for FOOD.

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 Great post! 

 Thank you Cindy.

 This is so interesting to me.  Recently I was talking to a VSG buddy who is a VSG vet and a maintainer and she was telling me she no longer feels GUILT over her food choices when they do not fit perfectly into her "plan".

Personally, I am SCARED of letting go of guilt associated with "poor" eating choices because I feel that the guilt helps to get me back on track.  I also have a good deal of FEAR that I will gain all my weight back.  I wonder if these were absent, if I WOULD regain.

Then again, does the absense of fear and guilt equate to not caring at all?????  And would not caring even mean anything?  When I have "given up" or thrown in the towel before, it was NOT because I did not care, and it was not because I let go of fear and guilt over food choices, it was because I felt tired of battling my weight, and defeated.

Sooo... I wonder what it feels like to not feel guilt over food or fear of regain.  I also wonder if I will ever experience that (I mean, I may have experienced guilt free eating when I was 4 years old lol but when I was in 1st grade I remember being aware of my excess weight and being told I needed to cut back on bread).  I mean if I don't make an effort to change it because I am afraid that if I change it then I really will regain, then it is highly unlikely those issues will resolve on their own. 

Very, very interesting topic.

No -- it does not equate APATHY. 

Not at all.

I think that it's something learned several years post op.  Learning to live normally -- and learning to make the same kind of choices that any normal sized person might.

Apathy might lead to not caring --- and harming yourself with constant junky choices....  But caring enough to pay attention -- though not letting go?  

I struggle with guilt from eating.  Even just 6 weeks out I feel like I have to watch every bite I put into my mouth.  I know that my friends watch everything I put in my mouth and what ever is on my plate or am I just thinking that they are watching??? Food guilt is hard.  This is a good article.  Thank you for posting it.

 You are a human lab rat to others right now.

"Is she supposed to eat that?  Will she lose her weight?  Will she fail?"

It doesn't matter.  This is your journey.  

Thanks and it is my journey for sure.  I feel like I am doing well I have lost 33 pounds and am not having any issues other than getting any of my vitamins to stay down and I will keep changing until I find the method and the vitamins that work with my body.  Meanwhile, it is onward and upward (or maybe I should say downward. ha)

 I don,t feel bad about what I have eaten but I am going on a diet as soon as January starts because I like to feel my clothes are comfortable and not tight and now my jeans are so so, no clapping.  I have a jeans test, be able to put both hands in and clap, thats where I like to be.