bridesmaid with cold feet?

I work in the catering business and have done a ton of weddings.  I would say about 40 % of wedding parties are wearing different versions of the same dress.  I think the tradition of being so matchy-matchy isn't as common as it used to be, at least not here in New England. Obviously the mother falls into this traditional cateory and is just using you as an excuse for her ideals.  Just ignore her, it's her daughter's day, not hers.  I think letting your bridemaids where something they feel comfortable in says a lot about friendships.  Have great time and strut your stuff!!!

 sorry to hear that! don't feel bad!

bride beauty

I think your friend is awesome and her mother is the one not paying attention to the fact that it is her daughter's day and not hers.  You offered to wear the shawl and she declined. You did everything right.  Enjoy the day and do not let the mother ruin it for you.