Happiness, inner peace, & contentment, joy?

I have an inner restlessness. I have an internal void in my heart or mind or soul or brain.  I have learned that I cannot fill it with the following; year after year of food, a normal weight, a normal BMI, a size 8 jeans, a size 6 dress, a nice tan, manicured nails, designer clothing. I cannot fill it with; sex, a man, a relationship, romantic love. It cannot be filled with children, mother, father, siblings. It cannot be filled with a 40 hour per week job, a house, a vehicle, or money. It is not satisfied with exercise. The void cannot be filled with a pill to tone down the noise of the restlessness.   Books on how to fix it don’t really fix it. I read. I forget. 

Dennis Prager says Happiness is a serious problem. I agree. He does not really say how to be happy. He identifies it as a problem. I own 100 books on how to be happy, calming the soul, keeping a quiet heart, victory over darkness, the NIV Bible.   I have six books in my cube at work in different locations. I have them scattered about my room and my house. 

I prove to be an obsequious partner in a romantic relationship.  I have no boundaries. I want to consume my partner and be consumed. I am certain that I have chased off the best man that I have ever known with my overwhelming desires and needs and wants.  Maybe, I am co-dependent, maybe a narcissist. Maybe, fear controls me. 

I am told that Jesus is the only one that can fill the void. Church cannot fill it. Songs cannot fill it. I turn the music up loud, the sadness is there. I turn it up louder, in futile attempts to drown out the void and sadness and emptiness.  A therapist cannot fill it. And, so far a therapist cannot fix it.  So far, everything is temporary and a Band-Aid to cover but not heal or fix. 

I have insatiable desires. I have unmet needs. I admit my insecurities and my jealousy. I can get no relief from them. Fill them with what? Fill them how? Soothe myself in what manner? I open myself up to criticism and judgment. I will condemn me, with you.  Maybe, no realistically; I am ungrateful. I count my losses and not my blessings.  

Can I trust God for salvation only but not the rest of my life? Am I doomed to always repeat the patterns of my life?  How do I catch the ever elusive contentment, peace, happiness, joy and do it permanently not temporally.   What is the permanent solution? 

How do I achieve balance, peace, inner contentment, happiness, and joy alone without relying on another person to provide it to me, or food, or booze, or developing an unhealthy dependency?   

You mention all these books, but have you seen a therapist? I'm sorry you cannot find contentment.

 Therapy. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

 and I know you say therapy cannot fix it, but that's not the job of therapy - therapy is there to help you reframe the questions, re-evaluate the answers and help you to understand why you feel the way you feel and what negative self-talk you're engaging in that make you feel so useless, alone & miserable. Or what stories you're telling yourself about what happiness is, what it looks like and who has it.

therapy is not the fix, no more than weight loss surgery is the fix. Its the tool that helps you make the changes you want or need to make. Anyone who tells you that their therapy method, book or religion will fix you is either lying to make a buck or deluded. A hammer doesn't fix a broken chair - using a hammer and a nail might. Surgery doesn't make you lose weight - surgery plus diet modification and exercise might. Therapy doesn't fix your problems - therapy plus honest self examination and concrete effort might.

Let me be deluded then. It works for me. Besides I agree about the religion part. Cant find peace in a man made system but the relationship with God works great. Dont knock till you try it.

I am told (and don't quote me, I'm definitely not there) that the way to happiness is to serve others, to make others happy, to be free of self and live for others.  Like I said, I am not there, it is just what I have heard and try to do.  The times I feel best are when I am helping others and forgeting about myself.  Instead of looking for peace and happiness I try to help others find it.

I am a believer in Christ. I grew up in church and I beleived most of my life that I was a true believer. I wasnt though.I had religion with no relationship. I did what I thought I was supposed to do when I was supposed to do it. I was still empty like you. An emptiness that is deep and undescribable.Everyone would tell you I was a happy person. I was not. Fake it till you make it. 
I will tell you that at some point even though I believed I walked away because I found nothing of the peace and joy that I read about. Most of the people I knew in church were the same. I believed in God but I had no evidence of His power and the life change that every one was talking about and that I read about in the Bible. I, by the way have about 10 different versions of the Bible with concordances. All I know is I told God I was on vacation and please dont let me die that I would come back some day. I spent almost 20 yrs enjoying all the world had to offer. Guess what? I was still empty. All my fun only lasted for a moment the void was always there to greet me. 
My sister in law became a believer and would try to talk me into coming back to Christ. I didnt want to give up all my wild ways as unfullfiling as they were.
Somewhere in the back of my head I knew that Jesus was the answer. I just had a problem seperating what I knew about Him and my experience with church and Christianity. Or let me say what I had experienced with it.
Let me tell you I came to a place where I was just sick of it all. I knew I needed God. I knew He was the only one that could fix me. I prayed. I told Him I needed His Love, I needed His forgiveness. I needed Him to hold me, protect me and make me whole. I did this from the bottom of my heart. I did this from the deepest part of me. I gave myself to Him completely. There was nothing else for me but Him. At that point I began talking to Him everyday. Not praying as we have been taught. Talking to Him like I would my best friend. And you know what. I started hearing Him talk to me. Not an actual audiable voice its hard to explain its more like the voice inside your head. Like when your concience speaks to you.
I developed a relationship with Him. I didnt go to church or even read my Bible. I just talked with Him everyday. Eventually He lead me to a completely different type of church than what I grew up in. I learned more and more about a personal relationship and chasing after God the way I had so many ungodly things. To hunger for Him. I learned about the Holy Spirit and that He is real and that He is our companion in this walk of life. I hungered for the Holy Spirit the way I did for Our Father God and His Son Jesus. I Didnt even start reading my Bilbe till about 3 yrs. after calling out to God. I didnt go to church the first 2 yrs. I wanted my own relationship with Him without it being tanted by someone elses opinions. I needed Him to heal me without the confusion. I needed something REAL. Jesus is the answer!!! You can trust God for everything!!!
I no longer feel empty, or have this sadness that is so deep that it cant be imagined. I dont have to try to fill anything. I am full. The Holy Spirit has made me whole. As a matter of fact I am so full I spill over now.
That is not to say that bad things dont happen. We are living in a fallen world. I still and will always do things wrong. No one will or can ever be perfect. We live in a human body. It is our Spirit the real us that changes and becomes perfect. Its just when bad things happen I dont feel the same way. I have a peace that truely passes all human understanding. I can still get sad about things but it isnt the same. It doesnt touch my soul. Its like ripples on the surface of a pond. Everything underneath is calm and peaceful. Inner contentment, happiness, joy and peace are obtainable. I am a living example.
I hope you dont think I was preaching at you because I never intended that. I just heard your cry and remembered your pain when it was my own. Jesus, The Real Saviour was my answer. Not religion but a real relationship. I pray the best for you.

Find a great therapist and just vent, and hopefully someone can give you coping skills that you can absorb, remember and practice.

The point of power & happiness is in THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Just BE.

Not the past, not the future.

Every human being lives for THE PRESENT MOMENT.

Stop continually raising the bar: I'll be happy if this, you get it. THEN: I'll be happy if that. You get it. THEN:

I question if you've READ all those self-help books.

Therapy, introspection, improving relationships and breaking negative patterns are all absolutely essential, but what I hear you saying is something else.

And my answer is this: You need to focus on helping others. Period.

That's where all true purpose comes from. Everything else is just words. Focus on alleviating the suffering of your fellow human beings in this world.

Whether that means volunteering in a soup kitchen, raising money for charity, working with low income kids at your local school, or heading off into a third world country to work with doctors to help the sick in Africa.

There is no higher purpose or inner meaning that will ever compare. You've tried everything else, right? Just get out there and help people any way you can and every day you can. Starting today.

The existential and vague dissatisfaction will fall away in the face of what is real and true and important in the world. You will find joy as never before. Just my humble opinion.