WLS when you have a toddler

 Has anyone on here had their surgery while their kids are really young? My daughter will probably be in the 18-20 month range when I have it. Any tips on it? I know I won't be able to carry her for a few days so that will be hard because she doesn't understand. But also when cooking dinner, do you make two meals one for you and one for your family??

My kids were pretty young when I had WLS...three and five. The carrying, of course, was not an issue so much. It was actually BETTER having the surgery when they were young; not a lot of questions and explanations needed. It is only recently that they have understood the full explanation of what my surgery was.

The meal planning was easy: one meal, with small additions for me when necessary.

Try not to overthink it. I know a lot of people make a BIG DEAL about post op life but for me it wasn't really overly complicated. I ate from the family meal what I could; supplemented with things like yogurt when necessary or if the main meal was something I could not/would not eat; and took care of the other issues like vitamins, etc. pretty quietly. I don't like to be the center of attention so kept my journey pretty private.

My three were very young when I had WLS.  First of all, you will be on liquids (protein), followed by soft things like yogurt and soup, then softer foods, etc.  So you WILL need to prepare different meals for a while.  This is also very healthy for you because our children are growing and have different nutritional needs.  My two boys are in swim and I make a ton of pasta for them in addition to protein because they are sticks and need the carbs.  Now that I am almost three years out I still often make a different meal for myself.  For example, today we are making lasagna for dinner.  I don't need all of those carbs, especially late in the day.  So, I will have some lean protein and vegetables. 

This surgery (any surgery) does not mean you can eat whatever anyone else eats, nor does it mean the family should suddenly adopt your way of eating.  If I am in a pinch I will have a can of split pea soup while I eat dinner with my family.  I try to make my eating choices be about what I want instead of what I SHOULD eat.  It makes a big psychological difference and the family doesn't feel sorry for me.  After all, WLS was MY choice.  When they tell me they feel bad I can't eat the same food, I always play up how much happier I am being thing and able to do everything with them.  And they smile in agreement.

The surgery is the EASY part.  Changing our attitudes is a lifelong battle for many.  For myself, I have embraced the changes and I am so thankful for my new lease on life.  I am thankful instead of resentful for the changes I made and look at them as such instead of sacrifices.  The sacrificial mindset lends itself to remorse and using food as a reward for those sacrifices. 

Wishing you the best,

I disagree. During the initial phase, if you are eating liquids or puree, your diet WILL be different; however, at a couple of weeks post op you can and SHOULD eat normal food (just not in normal portions). Of course, for differing reasons some of us decide to stay away from certain foods (lasagna, anyone??)....but since I am the meal preparer, I decide what's for dinner and I just don't make lasagna very often. Why can't the family eat your split pea soup? Perhaps if you asked, the meal preparer would make HOMEMADE for the whole family, which tastes a lot better and is much healthier than the canned variety. Add a salad for everyone and then a biscuit or crackers that you can pass up and you've got a complete meal that the whole family can enjoy! For the OP, her healthier eating habits post op are the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY for her to implement family wide healthy habits that will benefit everyone.

Of course, if you're a "bariatric eater" (ugh, protein shakes for b/l/d) of COURSE this isn't for the whole family. But we bariatric people have a lifetime of eating ahead of us....why pass up the opportunity to enjoy tasty, HEALTHY food? Shouldn't everyone do that? I THINK SO!

Just my two cents....

GET SOME HELP, at least for the first few weeks.  Have a relative or good friend stay with you to handle the toddler. You'll have some limited mobility, likely feel nausea some days, and your surgeon will definitely give you some lifting restrictions.  My surgeon has a lifting restriction of 15 pound for the first 3-4 weeks for LAP procedures, and longer for OPEN procedures.  You'll likely find eating "normal family dinners" to be against your surgeon's eating protocol for several weeks post op.  BTW, lifting will likely be more than "a few days". Ignoring this lifting restriction may result in another trip to the hospital for surgical repairs.  DAVE

I am a month out, I have four children.  Ages 14,12,7 and 5, they are fairly self sufficient.  The 7 year old and 5 year old didn't have a much understanding, but the 7 year old knew it was to help me lose weight.  They didn't really question my dinners, which at first were different from theirs.  I am a month out and am able to eat the same items they are, obviously just a lot less.  So I just made their meals as normal and made something for myself if I couldn't alter their meal to fit my diet stage.

My son was 11 months when I had RNY and I breastfed him until the day before surgery!!!!   My husband went back to work the day after surgery and I managed just fine - a case of needs must ...

8 years on, I still occasionally eat different food to my family as I live a high protein, low carb lifestyle - to both manage my diabetes and my general health.   Sometimes we eat similar meals, just minus the white carbs for me - it's really not that difficult, but does involve a life time commitment from you if you want long term success!!!!

I think she'll be able to understand "Mommy can't carry you right now but you can sit on the couch by me."  You might have to remind her of that but she should be able to understand it.

I personally would not make two meals, except maybe right after surgery when I was only liquids.  I mean, I wouldn't prepare protein shakes for my whole family and expect them to have that for dinner!  Once I was on a regular diet, though, I've always just prepared one healthy meal for everyone.  "Everyone" in my case is just me and my partner right now, but for a while my teenage nephew lived with me, too.  I made one healthy meal but often cooked a starch to go with it for my partner and nephew, which I usually skipped myself.  Like if I made a stirfry, I would also cook some rice, or if I made chili, I would also make some rolls, but I would skip the rice and rolls myself.

Thanks everyone for the tips.

I was REALLY worried about handling my kids after surgery, mine were 11 months, 2 1/2, and 5 at the time of surgery. It wasn't bad at all. My husband took a few days off from work, and I just made sure everything was downstairs that I needed, my daughter napped in the pack n play instead of her crib so I didn't have to carry her upstairs, had her climb up on the couch to change her, etc.

Meal wise I try to eat parts of our family dinner, like if they have pasta I'll just have a meatball, but sometimes it's hard to eat the same things. I buy a big pack of chicken and freeze them individually, so if they're having steak or burgers on the grill I just pull one out for myself.

I was really stressed pre-op about the same things, but post-op it's so different. You don't worry about food at all.