*Girls* Did you experience a huge impact on your self-esteem and confidence after WLS ?

After losing weight I had the courage to search for my college love and found him (after 15 years apart). I would have never done that when I was heavy. We've been back together 3 years now.

Great stories ladies ! You all are such an inspiration to me. I hope once I have my WLS I will be as brave as you all are to try new things !

My decision actually forced me to face my problems, as to why I was eating myself into hiding.  I was abused, starting at the age of 13 and for many reasons (too long to explain here) it remained until I finally broke free at age 22.  I then was in a relationship that was very unhealthy, he was controlling and mean and very hurtful and I ate to keep hidden.  If I was fat - then they would no longer want to hurt me.  I could hide behind the fat - not face life that was quickly passing me by.  My phsycologist actually helped me face the monster that started it all - and I decided to no longer be his victim, and to LIVE life, not just take up space.  I am so much happier now, I love my fiance with all that I have and he loves me back!  He loved me fat, and now he loves me as a smaller person.  He loves me, despite all that I have endured, he loves ME!  But more importantly, I LOVE ME!!!  I faced my demons - THAT is what gave me the confidence to walk with my head held high, look life in the face and truely enjoy life.  I only wi**** had happened sooner, but all things happen for a reason I believe.

Thanks

Kelly

Kelly,
Thank you so much for sharing that pesonal story with us. I know the pain you faced. I too have been in a mentally and physically abusive marriage. I also felt like hiding behind my fat and I did just that. I feel your pain Kelly. I'm glad that you are in a better stage in your life. I wish you the best in life, you deserve it.

I was a fairly confident person until I slowly put on 100 lbs.  My confidence dropped as I gained, unfortunately.  I can say that after the wls, my confidence is back to where it was.  I guess if you lose confidence because of the weight, wls will help there, but if there are other reasons for a lack of self confidence, it may not help.

Oh yeah, I do things that I didn't do at my heaviest, like engage people in conversations instead of bowing my head and pretending I didn't see them. 

 It really depends on what your self-esteem is centered around.  If your self-conscious about your appearance, that's sure to change - but depending on your end-result.  I am blessed enough to be able to hide my loose skin very well with lycra, and feel like an absolute knockout when dressed to impress, like when I was interviewing for jobs at my goal weight.  It was a fabulous feeling.  Others, however, are plagued with horrible loose skin and find that making them equally anxious.  

If you're self-conscious about your intelligence, saying the wrong things, or just plain shy - losing weight will hold no impact.

In other words - losing weight is rarely the answer to all of our problems...just a few...and it may even create new issues.  So, if you think you need therapy now, continue as you lose weight and keep working at yourself.

I 'got over' any self-esteem issues I had way back when I went through puberty, and shortly thereafter. WLS really didn't have an impact on that aspect of my life.

I have enjoyed a HUGE boost in self-esteem and confidence. I was in a job that I hated and after the weight loss I felt confident enough to put myself in the job market. I secured a great job that I love AND I'm making $15,000 more per year! I would still be stuck in a job I hated if not for the weight loss.
Best of luck to you on your journey.