Major move to stand up for myself.

I did not intend to be callous

When I decided to change my eating, it was before I had my band -- and I got involved with OA and made a list of foods that I would no longer eat ---

The band is no defense against the foods that are on that list (sweets --- cake, cookies, ice cream, pie, etc) -- so, I had to decide what I would eat and what I would not.

Some people choose to moderate how much of that stuff they eat -- that doesn't work for me -- I cannot eat it moderately, so I don't eat it at all. 

I was congratulating you for taking the step to set a boundary --- but reminding you that the responsibility is ultimately yours, you cannot control other people's behavior (you can ask for help, like you have) and you can follow it up by staying true to your word -- if they offer it to you -- don't accept it, if your kids bring it home, get rid of it -- whatever you decide will work for you.

Sorry you were offended.

Not offended at the idea, but offended at the way you expressed it. I didn't need to have it explained to me again. I understand intellectually. But I was celebrating putting my needs before the needs of others, and that includes putting my need to celebrate this small victory over your need, for whatever reason, to **** on it.

Do you seriously think anyone here, whether pre- or post- op, does not know it comes down to them and their choices? Do you really think anyone about to have major surgery isn't aware of the limitations of wls? I didn't need your reminder, thanks. I am not an idiot.

And I'm not a doormat any more, either. Go be condescending elsewhere.

I totally understand.  I think you put it very nicely.  Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you want to look at it), carbs - flour and sugar - make me incredibly ill, so I just tell everyone I can't take them because they're like poison to me.  They are really like poison to all of us, but my body rejects them where my willpower never would have.

Best of luck getting through the season unscathed!

That is great! I hope I can do the same thing but it is so hard! For example, at my mother in laws when we have Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner I usually turn down dessert because Sugar doesn't sit well with me and I am afraid of getting sick at her house and I don't want the extra calories. Well to make a long story short, this seems to offend her and everyone....seriously...everyone in the house comments on me skipping dessert as though it was a direct insult to my Mother in law or something! Holy cow it's NOT! I have to explain to everyone again for like the 5th time that I get sick from sugar and can't eat much of it.

So fed up i started accepting a dessert over there but only taking a few bites. For Thanksging I got a cookie vs cake because I know an average cookie has about 10 grams sugar as a average piece of cake with frosting has over 20 grams of sugar. HOLY crap They had to bring that up to! Why did you take the cookie? you don't like cake? was something wrong with the cake? Ahahahaha!!!!!! When really I didnt want the cookie or the cake!

You have inspired me and I am going to stand up for myself this Christmas! If I don't want the dessert I am not eating it!!!

Whooh! Feels good to get that out! Thanks for the vent session :)

I have those in-laws as well.  I'm starting to think my skinny inlaws just like feeling superior to me in this regard because I am more educated than them.

I remember when I was struggling to get pregnant (PCOS) and trying to avoid carbs, my husband's grandmother was badgering me to eat something.  Finally, his aunt (in-law) made her stop.  Of course, they were also badgering us to get pregnant.  WTF is wrong with people?  It's like they both hate fat people but need us to exist to validate their pathetic lives, and heaven forbid we take control and do something about it, because then we're "lazy" and should just go on a diet!

Vent away!

I love baking, and making candy for the holidays.....BUT I've learned to either make only what I need for gifts, or I have to put away the leftovers.  So...I guess that explains the box of stale cookies, and mashed together candy my sister found in the garage this summer!!!  Too bad the mice who live out there didn't find them first!