Hey, I felt similar after surgery as well. It feels like you're missing something, like a friend died; the comfort zone. The surgery is an amazing help. Besides being a tool to help you learn to eat and re-train yourself, it is also a constant motivational reminder. You probably really wanted it if you went through with it all, since it's not easy. It's normal to wonder if its the right thing, because you can become nervous about all the new changes. Theres so many big lifelong changes that seem so scary since this isn't a "diet" it's a "lifestyle" so it's even scarier b/c you'll actually keep it up this time knowing how bad you want it. Some days will always be harder then others. Head hunger will be the worst enemy on certain days. Just go one day at a time, if you mess up you just pick up as soon as you can and get back on the path. Good luck!!

Sorry love my "Oscar the Pouch"!!!!!!!!!!  He's grumpy sometimes, but I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!

I had my band placed in May of 2005.  It took me over 6 months to find that sweet spot, but when I was there, everything was easy.  I know the potential of the band and how it can work as a great tool...when it works.  My problems started in the early part of 2006.  I had two colds back to back that caused tightness, and ever since then it's been countless fills and defills trying to get to that sweet spot.  I'd pretty much given up around April of this year with my last defill of .4 cc.  I was having problems with liquids at that time, so a defill really was necessary.   Since then, I gained back about 30 of the 100 lbs that I'd lost.  I was depressed and scared, but got up the courage to go for another fill this past week.  Once the swelling went down, I was able to eat again....for a couple days.  Chicken and green beans were going down fine...in fact, they were sliding through my pouch.  How is it today that I'm suffering trying to drink water?  I'm taking baby sips and still sliming.   If I'm not looser in the morning, I"m going for a defill.....and telling them to take it ALL out.  I feel like such a failure.  I wanted to lose at least 200 lb, to be healthy, happy, get my self confidence back.  That hasn't happened for me at all.  I feel worse now because I have failed the band.  I feel like no one takes me seriously, no one will listen to me...I am sure something is not right with my band or my stomach.  I've had a fluoro that showed everything was in place, but I FEEL like something still isn't right.  But I'm just made to believe that it's all in my head, that I obviously don't really want to lose the weight.  Failing at this is the worst thing that could have happened. At this point, if someone offered me a free bypass, I dont' think I'd take it.  I'm afraid of having a more drastic surgery, I'm afraid of having worse complications and I'm afraid of failing that too.  What do I do?  Defill and diet my ass off?  Give up?   I'm so lost and confused and depressed.  I just wish I had an answer for all of this :( Kristin H. 

I just saw your post from a couple of months ago.  I had RNY 4 years ago too and am not doing too good.  I'm about right were you are at.  I did have a baby 4 months ago, but I had gained that weight back before that.  I would love some support getting back to what ever it was before that I was doing.  I sure miss being full and not wanting to eat.  I'm lazy too.  There I said it.