OT: MY take on Rihanna from a Tina perspective......

From another Sistah who has been there and done ALL that at a young age......

I have experienced it all and spent a good part of my life advocating against domestic violence.  I have lost part of myself (thank God I found ME again) and lost a true true loved one to it.

I have done seminars, ran to save sisters, took many to the hospital - only to have them home screwing their abuser before I layed my own head down that night.  A woman will only LEAVE when SHE has had enough.  All the talk and yadda yadda yadda just runs them right back to their own comfort zone. 

As for MM saying they are young and don't know.....really they don't.  And Miss Ri may have to get her azz kicked a few more times before she sees it for real.  He may have lots of work to do on himself.  Niether can do it together or in the spotlight...so for me - History WILL repeat it's self and She will Loose.

I know what I know from experience.  I know what I know from living and loving and fighting and surviving!!  They will gain experience and perspective as they grow.  I just hope she grows.  My cousin is dead now.  Shot in the back of the head by an abusive lover - she no longer has the ability to change her mind.

I pray for these young people.  They are setting a very BAD example for other young people.  But...many ADULTS set a bad example for young people every day. 

What did your parents show you???

Im feeling what you are saying, Trina. I mean...I know i was a big ass idiot at 19, and probably stayed that way until about 25 or so. Hell, most women my age put up with a bunch of bull**** from men just to say they have one. Just cuz he isnt kicking your ass physically doesnt mean he isnt beating you down. So we need to slow down on judging...especially those who i see saying all this "never" allow this and "never" do that. I call complete bull**** You NEVER know what you'll NEVER do.

If it's an abusive relationship (as opposed to 2way abuse/ isolated incident)...then nothing anyone says will make her leave, in fact, if she is in that "denial" phase, she may stick up under him even tighter because he can build up that "us against the world" (literally in their case) mentality.  Plus, as someone as isolated as she is...the idea of finding someone else she can be close to is probably very daunting. And think how important it is to be "with" someone at that age. All the more reason to forgive him and stick around.

Plus, I agree with VV (Hey Tira!)....i had a ***** that would beat my ass...and sometimes we would fight like 2 dudes (2 sided)...but other times...i knew what the hell i was doing would provoke him. I just knew exactly how far to push and what to say.  We dont know if she was doing that. I call bull**** on that "Real man would never hit a woman" line. Just a bunch of sexist bull**** If a mofo wanna start **** (esp throwing blows)---you should be prepared to get busted in your ****  

Bottom line, we dont know what went on in that car. If he ****** her up no provocation, she need to lure his ass to Barbados on a "vacation" and have some of them island *****s **** him all the way up. Otherwise...it's her life to live. I'd rather her learn this way and maybe get out of it by the time she's 22 than be getting her ass beat down (physically, emotionally or otherwise) at 40.

 (((J)))

CC!!!  you on my **** list lady!!!!!! 

WHYYYY??? What I do?

  See - dats aiight - go on ya lil road trip solo - see what I care - get shot in the ass this time at the club!!!!

  you never got back to me about the dates man...... LOL!!!! 

Hey my Messcan boo!

HIGH mofoin FIVE to "you should be prepared to get busted in your ****"

DAMN - I ain't seent no other woman on here MAN enough to admit that ****!!!!    I'm with that!!!  I know I have been a provoking ***** in my day - and thank GOD I was with bruhs who believed in that never hit a woman **** - but I was READY!!!!  LOL  

Fuck that - men ain't perfect and women KNOW what damn buttons they pushin - hell - I tell my man some ill ****  I KNOW that nicca will bust me in my damn mouth - so guess what?  I don't say ILL ****!!!!!  Mack keep her damn mouth closed or I EDIT my ****!!!!  just cause you packin ***** don't give you verbal or physical carte blanche over a man......

Girl...u know bout that say it, and be leaning back, ready to duck at the same time! *peeping round for a vase, shoe or something in case that nucka swings*

Hell, i have started some mess with ones that i know wont do nothing....just to see what would happen. And i have started mess with the one i KNEW would cut a damn fool. and knew what i was doing when i did it. If i was feeling sporty, i would pu**** If i wasnt prepared to rassle on the ground...i would shut the **** up. LOL

But if you gonna be bad enough to bring it...be bad enough to take it. Thats how i feel.  

The same goes for my daughter..she gets older, and wants to step to me like a ***** on the street, prepare to get fought like a ***** in the street.  Ass kickin is equal opportunity in my eyes.

<------- that is me for REAL about that ducking and leaning!!!!  OMG you ain't neva lied!!!!!!