ONE YEAR SURGIVERSARY - Reflection

My surgiversary was 3/7 and this year has brought with it a lot of changes (mind, body, and soul), far more changes than the 81 lbs I have shed. So, while reflecting on my changes I asked myself the question, OK so you LOOK better but ARE YOU BETTER?


For the past couple of days I have reflected on this question. In some ways I believe I AM better but in so many others (some vitally important) I am not. While I won’t disclose ALL of my inner most thoughts and spiritual struggle in this post, I thought the question was personally thought provoking enough to share and pose to the BAF Family. Sure we may be healthier and in some cases more physically attractive, but that doesn’t make us BETTER people. We often use journey to describe our weight loss struggle. One of the definitions of journey is passage or progress from one stage to another. So I ask, where has the weight loss journey taken you? 

For me, some of the positive changes have been related to my health (no high blood pressure medicine – first year since adulthood that I hadn’t been hospitalized with stroke range BP) and the ability to run around and play with my kids. Some of the negative changes are being shallower, and at times a little too focused on appearance and not focused enough on substance.   I have drifted further away from things I know are right and at times used WLS and the work I am doing on my physical self to take precedence from other areas in my life.

So, I am just wondering. Am I alone? So again, I ask the question, post-op BAF’ers even though you may LOOK better, are you BETTER?

(((((BRENDA))))

Congrats, Happy Surgiversary and all that!!! 

Now you know you my girl!! That right there was a good read. I feel you on the positive and the negative. 

Hey girlie!!!!!!

Thanks a million!  We will have to catch up.  Girl BAF doesn't have enough space for all of these thoughts I have been having.  Trust me, yall better be glad I have been too busy at work to post lately.  LOL

i feel you on this one....right now i wanna say yes..i'm better in most areas of my life...i'm back in school,i'm active again, i feel good and i look good. I love being able to play with my children and not be exhausted.. but what kind of changes are we looking for, i still think the same, i love the same, i hurt the same....those things havn't changed for me...so i guess you have to look at who you were before WLS..and the reasons why you had WLS...in what aspect outside of health-wise are we supposed to be better?? I mean really..you are who you are before and after WLS. i do believe your awareness level of physical appearance is highten, but shouldn't it be...this is one of the reasons why you had WLS to begin with, i don't think we change all that much..in my honest opinion i think our options change..they increase...whether it be your choice in men/women, career opportunities or better customer service when you walk into a department store.....many, many things seem to come available to you...now here's the question .....is that because of the change in your outter apperance...or your new level of confidence; that clearly shows when you walk into a room???

Cleo, I can always count on you for a REAL and genuine response.  Thank you for that.  But I don't know if I agree that you are who you are before the surgery only because I feel that I have changed in some areas.

I think I was NICER before surgery.  Maybe because I felt I had to be.  Don't get me wrong when angry or provoked then I could still be a real out and out BIOTCH but it took a whole lot more to provoke me then.  But on the flip side, I had more confidence then than I do now.  I honestly, didn't know how big I was until I started losing weight (long story).  But there has been a lot going on with me too, like my separation ( so maybe those things are the reason for the increased *****iness, not the surgery) LOL

i feel you.....seasons....seasons of changes...we continously change...somethings we no longer tolerate because that season of bullshiot is over...everything must change..everything must grow...you're growing.............

congrats on the Weight loss too...and you're still nice, yr just tired of the bullshiot is all...you've made a drastic change in your life, to improve yr life, for whatever your reasons are....so why should you continue to tolerate the same old bullshiot??? you've transformed into a new, better, healthier you...you're looking for something that will compliment the new you.....in the process you're filtering out the bullshiot!...

Hell Naw you ain't alone!!!

Most of us do become obsessed with the outter! I am one...I completely understand where you are coming from this isn't easier living by no means

But on another note...Happy Surgiversary...LOL 

Thanks Ro-Ro.  Good to know I am not alone.  Maybe its the company I recently started keeping...LOL

Chile - I tell you what - WLS was the EASY part!!!  If cutting was all there was to it...... it wouldn't be called a journey!!!!!

I have improved me SO much - my issues had friggin issues!!!  I am far from perfect, but far from the former chick I used to be - and I am loving the strides I continue to make!  So many folk go through this thinking they have no mental work to do..... kudos to you for seeing that it's INSIDE and OUTSIDE that have to change!!!!

Happy Surgiversary lady!!!!

Happy Surgiversary Brenda -- and, basically I'm still the same.  I still struggle to lose weight,  and I still strive to treat people the way I want to be treated.

Congratulations on losing weight, gaining good health and making positive changes in your life.  I think that it's normal and totally ok to be selfish by spending time improving you.  Shallow no; just taking time to love you and put you first for a change.

Peace and Blessing

Karen