Male/Female privacy

Ayy yo...

I was in the barbershop last night, kickin' it old school with a couple of my peeps and a sista walked in with her son.  The two of them sat and waited patiently to be called for his haircut.  Soon the lady proceeded to join in with us on one of our many debates.  Regardless of the topic, a few of the fellas slowed their roll around her and didn't talk as much as normal, because as they pointed out to me later, "Why she gotta come up in here and start talkin with us and stuff like she know what she talkin 'bout...  It ain't like we go to the beauty parlor and stuff and talk about what they talk about..." 

These guys genuinely felt that their privacy had somehow been invaded.  I just chuckled at the notion because I know for a fact that between a nosey SO, the police, the Feds, and the thieves that're waiting for you to leave your house unattended so that they can rob you, do we any of us have any real privacy left in America?

But I digress... 

BAF, my questions to you are:

1.  Should men have a place to go where no women are allowed?  Why or why not?
2.  Should women have a place to go where no men are allowed?  Why or why not?
3.  If a man came up in the beauty parlor/hair salon/whatever with his wife would women feel funny that he's in there?   Why or why not?

I learned VERY early out (as a single mother of a son) NOT to take him to the barber shop.
The first time I did, no one said anything, it was just an uncomfortable feeling because of the looks I got. 

I really don't think there should be places we go where the other sex should not be allowed...per se.  There obviously are unwritten rules that most (including me) follow.

I can't speak for other women, but I would not feel uncomfortable with a man in the beauty parlor.  I grew up with an Aunt who ownes a shop and there were men there all the time during the jheri curl days.  No one gave them that look.  Maybe that's a 'man thang'.....

Oh yeah...  After Easy E (NWA) died I tried hard to forget about the Jheri Curl.

Good looking out, Kim.  BTW I like your new avatar.  You look great!

Thank you!

All I can see is that the brothers felt intimidated by the woman's presence - INTIMIDATED BY HER PRESENCE (don't want anyone reading otherwise!)

I applaud the sister because SHE felt comfortable enough to invite herself into the conversation.  I saw nothing wrong with taking my sons to the barber shop - I did it with both of my sons until they were old enough to go on their own (right around the pre-teen age).

Should men/women have a place to go where no women/men are allowed? For men - A place to go - to do what? to chat? To sit around holding their nutz, shooting the breeze? Why? I mean, after all, they do the same thing at home, in the presence of their women, right?  For women - a place to go - to do what? to chat? To sit around, shooting the breeze? (Don't know what we would be holding!) why? (insert same answer here).

I say...brothers hanging out/sisters hanging out - to chill, with none of the opposite sex present - no problem with it; however, a specific place to hang out where no men/women are allowed - don't agree.  (BTW...there are still 'gentlemen's clubs' around that don't allow women...so, nothing has changed, per se).

DD

Thanks, Donna.   @ holding their nutz...

But what if the strip club said, "Aiight you paying lady customers the Champagne Room in the back is men only!"  Would that be right?

BTW - I like your new avatar too.  You look good!

I think the 'bruhs' should have their own space and place.  Black men do so little bonding these days - and with the percentage of single parent households, there are MANY times when the alone time in the barbershop is the only time some boys get to be around MEN.

My BF is a mentor in a program and they only mentor at risk black youth - they REQUIRE only male participation and have turned away participants whose mothers insist on being in on every activity. 

Men say things around other men that they won't say around women - for many reasons, not because they are being shady or whatnot, but because SOME things need to stay between MEN - heck, what man wants to admit to having 'wood' problems around another chick/  What man wants to trade 'lickin' tips around a woman?  what man wants to discuss his REAL fears around a woman - when he's supposed to be A MAN around women?

I think the shop has historically been a great forum for men to bond - it should stay that way. 

Love the new avatar, MM!  Everybody just getting all new me all of a sudden.

Well hell, that's why I go - for the lickin tips.    Can't be slackin on your mackin or your girl will send you packin....   

Seriously though...

I think you're absolutely right about the bonding thing.  Some brothas today walk down the street eyein' each other like they are still "inside" just waitin' for some shid to jump off. 

The sistas need a place to bond too because too many sistas only seem to want to come together when they can both hate the same man.  Or am I wrong?

you crazy man!!!  LOL  thanks for the compliment - I change up my stee-lo every so often just to keep things fresh - ya dig?  LOL!

As for a place to bond for the sistas - Ionknow about that.  I personally don't want to bond with a bunch of sistas - I have a natural distrust of a mid to large size group of women.  It's an automatic that there will be cattiness and other shadiness when there's more than two in my opinion and even with just two - SOMETHING is gonna go down at some point.  I prefer NOT to have any 'bonding' or forum where I let my guard down - I've been backstabbed and burned too many times......

I hear ya, Mack Momma, but how come it's like that with women?  I swear I don't get it.  Y'all could straight run the entire world, seriously, if y'all could just get pass that one simple issue. 

Brothas don't do that shid at all. 

Nope, nope, nope...

We would rather hang out and chill together than to try and change each other in anyway.  Because when you really break it down, the catty backstabbing women are always the ones who have an opinion as to how you should live your life.

Am I wrong?