Don't have anymore kids (long post)

'Drea.
I said it before and I'll say it again:

If all else fails..you reserve the right to BEAT DAT AZZ TIL THE WHITE MEAT SHOWS. 

 This is me looking around for my 6 year old, Sisi....is she at your house...cause I swear you just described her to a T.  Now, I have been on both sides of this issue...working as a Mobile Therapist with at risk kids and as a parent.  Now the Mobile Therapist will tell you that corporal punishment is not effective..neither is telling a child that you will disown them etc.. etc... I think the main reason for this is that some folks do get it twisted and take the punishment too far...it then does become abuse.  As a parent, I will tell you that I have no problem..spanking my little Sisi's ass when she gets out of hand.  I do believe in "spare the rod... spoil the child".  The whole disrespect thing is intolerable for me...and I will put her in her place.  Now...what I do know about my child is that she is highly independent for her age...she likes to pick out her own clothes...and make decisions for herself.  I think that this can be a virtue as long as she does not get it twisted that she is not an adult.  I do give her some freedom in making decisions... For example...here are two outfits...you choose.  If I give her one outfit to start...she will most definitely will have issues with it because it was not her choice.  So I have been trying to be real cognizant of when she is outright trying to be disrespectful or simply perturbed because she wanted to make a choice.  When ever the two meet...of course what I say goes...why? because I am the mama and I said so.   

Also...I would not share too much with my co-workers about what goes on in my house unless ya'll have that type of relationship. Hope this helps.     

maybe its that age group. I do not know but they need to get it together. I do believe you have to be careful with spankings. I know sometimes my single friends think I should spank Jayla when sometimes I don't. A lot of factors have to be considered before I go there. 1. Why is she acting this way. Is she over tired and I am dragging her around the city during her nap time. 2. How mad am I? If I am extremely upset then I do not spank because I might not stop. 3. How serious is what she is doing? I weigh everything before I spank. I don't like to have to hand out spankings but I believe if you don't every once and awhile then they will grow up and try and spank you.  Jayla is very independent and I understand this. I am too. So I know she came by it honest.

Yes me and my co-workers talk about our lives frequently over breakfast. The co-worker who said this is the same co-worker who always comes to work complaining because her son who is 22 treats her sooo bad. He has her in tears almost every night by the things he says and does to her. So there you go.

I YOU on how you handled YOUR child.  I would have done/said the same thing. 
No changes.
Just one question..how did you respond to that co-worker?  I think I would have at least given her the evil eye or something!

Thanks Ms. Kim. When she said that I said if I dont discipline my child you will be complaining about my child growing up and hitting you over the head and stealing your purse right?? she didn't say anything.

This is so true....that's why I do have an issue with corporal punishment being viewed as such a horrible thing.  People in various systems don't want you to spank your child but the same people won't have an issue giving the death penalty later on if they grow up totally out of control.

She is asserting her independence.  I have had  a model child...so good I'm scared to have another one for fear of what I might end up with...he was too easy.  Until he turned 5...more and more he is asserting his independence or "trying to be grown."  We have had a rough couple of months lately.

I have said on more than one instance I was going to trade him in for a new model, lol.  So I feel you on that.  Kids need boundaries and you have to get them where it hurts.  Some kids it's spanking, others it's taking away things.  You know what works with your child...

Keep the faith! You are a good Mom and the situation will work itself out...you know what to do.

 

I'm scared to have another one for fear of what I might end up with...he was too easy. 

Tanya, this is the same reason I didn't have anymore kids...LOL

Thank you for making me feel better!

Thanks Tanya. I guess 5 is the magic number for them to turn into other creatures. But I think you are right. Its about asserting her independence and testing her boundaries. Well I made the boundaries real clear yesterday to her.