This is why I need to take my tail to bed...

I disagree MM. I do not believe those are valid statements. No more than I believe all black people are lazy and do not want to work. These are stereotypes that are damaging to a group a people that have no foundation. These are not true statements. Now I believe that everyone has there own preferences. And that is fine. I have my preferences too. I will give you an example...Lets say I said I do not date short men. I have a prefer taller men. They make me feel safe. (btw this is not how I feel just using it as an example) That statement is completely different than me saying short men are ugly. There is nothing attractive about a short man. That is untrue statement. And plain ridiculous. Of course there are attractive short men out there. Does that mean I have to date them? Of course not if that is not what I prefer.

I do not believe that reinforcing sterotypes is a postive thing for our society. We don't stand for it when it comes to race relations why should we stand for it when it comes to size discrimination.

What is with the blanket statement assumptions up this camp?  I didn't say they were true for ALL - but they are true for the folk that said them - and I have personally seen examples where they applied. 

Of course there are MANY for whom this doesn't apply - and just as not ALL Blacks are lazy - there are certainly SOME lazy Black bastids in the world - if YOU don't know any - *I* sure do!!!  LOL

Is it the nicest thing to say?  No  Is it a true thing in SOME cases?  Yes.  Should it NOT be the case?  Of course - however - it DOES, indeed, exist. 

Some people do feel that way.  I look at being fat as the same thing as being ugly.  It's subjective to whomever is looking.  Some women/men go after larger people to prey off them the same way as some men/women go for less attractive people.  Now what I consider to be fat and unatractive may be thick and fine to you and vice versa.  To many variables in it to really take personal offense.

I think that is a dangerous mindset to have and also very sad. Fat does not equal being ugly. That is absolutely crazy. Fat does equal many times (not always) unhealthy lifestyle and making poor food choices. But it does not equal ugly. That is what is wrong with society today.  We feed into that stereotype that to be beautiful you must be thin.  I have some very beautiful friends that are not small women. They are just as beautiful as a small woman. They take care of themselves and carry themselves well. These are not ugly women. We have some beautiful women right here on BAF that are not small women but still very beautiful. It is very insulting to equate beauty with the size jeans you wear.

Once again that doesn't mean you are going to be everyone's type but that doesn't diminish a person beauty. And also to me beauty shines through from the inside. If you are beautiful on the inside then that shows through to your outside.

No I didn't mean fat=ugly.  Not at all.  What I mean is that to some people it's the same thing as if someone thought that a guy is cute or ugly.  Its all about perception.  What I might think is fat, someone might call thick.  Or what I call skinny might be fat to someone else.  To me it's the same thing as calling someone ugly.  What is ugly or not attractive to me, may be damn fine to someone else.  I might think I have the finest man in the world and everyone else might think he is fugly.  It's too subjective.
Hope that clears that up.

yes girl that clears it up. LOL you know I almost passed out with that one.  You are right fat is a subjective term and since they didnt specify what size they considered fat I can't really speak on it. But the fact still remains its one thing to say I prefer a particular size and look of a person vs saying that all fat women are ugly. I just think that is a little extreme.

For example my brother likes small to mid size women. That's his thing. But he has seen some of my friends that aren't small or mid size and he has said they are cute. They are not my type but my boy would really want to talk to her. Is she single?  So just because he won't go with a bigger women doesn't mean he thinks all bigger women are ugly.

Nikke I totally agree, "some" men tend to prey on less attractive women where they can feel superior and use them for money and so forth the same way they tend to prey on larger women.

These days you see a lot of men that are VERY ATTRACTIVE married to UNATTRACTIVE SKINNY WOMEN. Some people think as long as they are "thin" this automatically makes them attractive.

I think that comment is very ignorant, I think MOST morbidly obese women KNOW they are OBESE, whether they are trying to do something about their weight or not.

Sometimes being obese is genetics or medical just as someone being too skinny is usual medical as well.

That said, there is not too many GROWN men will turn away a larger woman that is well BUILT..meaning, larger breasts, small waist and thicker, hips and thighs, that is reasonably large.

Some men go for beauty REGARDLESS of size, and some men could care less if a women looked like a monkey as long as she is rail thin....I guess for each his own.

Speaking as a hispanic black man who has never even been with a woman below a size 12 (the so-called minimum to be considered a plus-sized model),  I happen to LOVE my women who look like and have curves like women, not lil boys. 

Now, the comments regarding "fat" women (and, fat IS relative, as someone else mentioned) do come from preference AND ignorance.  The really sad thing, unfortunately, is that there ARE some women who DO (thru probably self-esteem issues) subject themselves to behaviors that make me sometimes shake my head. 

I used to attend many BBW events when I was larger (I stopped awhile ago because, ironically, they weren't into me.. I wasn't think enough. Go figure. LOL ).  Some were just dances, others were weekend trips.  During the weekend trips, you could see the "playas" who were there simple to scoop up "unsuspecting" women and get them to indulge in all sort of stuff.  The funny thing about these guys (as opposed to "Men") is that, out in the mainstream world, many of these cats probably couldn't get a paid ho' to deal with them.  However, here, they are THE MAN, and use that "position" to their advantage. 

then again, just my opinion. 

and, fat IS relative, as someone else mentioned) do come from preference AND ignorance.  The really sad thing, unfortunately, is that there ARE some women who DO (thru probably self-esteem issues

I agree with you D fat is relative and a lot of bigger women do have self esteem issues, MM just had a post on that yesterday.  And a part of their self esteem issues come from believing the nonsense that they are not beautiful and worthy to be loved because of their size.  That is a huge issue in our society. People do not realize how this effects us all. When people don't believe in their self worth this effects society as a whole. How many people that are on the system do you think have a high self worth? I am not making a blanket statement about everyone who is on the system. There are truly some people who just fell on some hard times (especially in this economy) But if you ever go down to the public assistance building and look around you will see what I am saying. And btw this is not size specific. Because skinny women are getting dogged and not seeing their worth either.  I am on a tangent I know. But this is a subject I feel passionate about.

The thing is, Andrea, that self-esteem isn't gender specific. 

Because I've always been the "big one" in my family, i've always been made to feel I was "inferior" from a looks standpoint (probably the reason why I hate taking pictures to this day, lol).  What confidence/ego/arrogance I may have comes from my intelligence. 

It was years before I was able to look myself in a mirror and say, "Dang, D.  Ur not that horrible looking after all."   Ironically, I have my x-wife for that in that she was only the second person in my life (after a great-aunt {thanks Aunt Lena}) to actually tell me I was handsome...even good-looking.  I still have to constantly tell myself that I am actually "acceptable", though I have more women looking my way than ever before (I laugh it off, these days. lol).