Vets - now *I* got a question...... yeah that's right - so just ANSWER dangit!

Yea - you got a good point right there - BUT - are we REALLY our Brother or Sister's keeper on BAF?  i mean, we will support once someone ADMITS it - but to be proactive and mention it - that's a whole nuther ball of wax! 

MM, maybe BAF is just a good social Site with info. I think that if someone was in AA or OA and members saw or noticed "changes" they would say something. Maybe that is the Key...who is close enough to someone to notice "problems"? I think that is why different levels of Support are always needed and we need people or a person to be accountable to. OA has Sponsors, maybe Angels play or could play that role, but people need to SEE a Sponsor at least once a month.

Also, usually where their is wt. gain, something more is going on besides pounds; the physical part is usually the Result of  other problems; a Good Sponsor is really needed for heart to hearts over a cup of tea or coffee. Groups are great but one-on-one is a necessity.

Don't and won't say a word. Not that I'm a vet either but I've met/talked to/BL message a lot of folk on the board. I'm with some of the other people...they know thier jeans don't fit ain't no use in me tellin em. Now if it was somebody I was extra close with I might say a lil something, real nice, but not to the 99% of the people on the board.

I don't say anything to someone gaining weight because I am sure they know that their gaining weight.   When you get up in the morning and those jeans are tight you know your ass is getting big so why should I have to tell you.

I feel you - but for me - I told myself as I bought size 16 then 18 then 20 then 22 then 24,26,28 that no one else noticed.... BULLSHIOT - no one else SAID anything - their silence AND mine lulled me into complacency about my weight.

I had people saying **** to me all the time.  If I would have heard,  "man, your ass is getting big"  one more time I was going to cuss someone out.

But for those that didn't say anything I don't blame them because I knew my butt was getting big because I was wearing sweat shirts in 95 degree weather with my jeans upzipped.

No I would not say anything....because guess what my perception...just might be off...what if its bloating or something else...what if they are actually losing...WTH....I would have messed up.  I am with most everyone else...a person knows when they are gaining. 

But.....if they ask me my opinion....thats another matter....

Mack--you're crazy!!

Do I feel comfortable? Nah. prolly not. even if you and I are "cool like that"--I won't say it. I know--and YOU know that truth is truth--so I opt to live and let live. What I WILL do, however, is not shy away from the topic--especially when I know that we're ALL going to come across that bridge at one time or another.

(Some of us linger around on the "CASH" line, while others of us zip through the EZ PASS. no matter how you slice it, we're ALL going to cross that bridge!!)

(and there are those of us that say "Fuck it--the tolls too high--I'ma stay my ass in Jersey!")

Where was I? Oh yes...

...So--I'll talk about my struggles, my supports and what helped. There you go--my job is done. the info's there--what you do with it is YOUR business.

Have I ever called someone out? Nah. Like I said, they know.

Is it untouchable though--No. Even with the people in my circle here on the board, I'd feel EXTREMELY uncomfortable bringing up their weight gain.

Fortunately, however...to those individuals-their weight gain or loss is of no importance to me--I'm happy with the friendship we have--nothing else matters.

BUT AM I GUILTY OF LOOKING AT PICS AND THINKING those evil thoughts?

HELL YES!!!

why *I* got to be crazy?  LOL 

I feel you though - interesting that we are so blunt here about EVERY OTHER THING except THE thing that brought us here.......