Warning - Drama Post

Lookit MD - all 'Robert's Rules' and ish.....

I feel you - that MIGHT do a lil bit of good - that's what they did for the R&R board......

I personally think the whole issue arised because of how the message (that kicked this off) was perceived.  That's why the one dimensional nature of messages can lead to misinterpretation. Just my perception mind you but from the outward looking in...Meekie initial response back to Ro...came off almost as mocking. Ro then took it from there with her response...



...and...My FRIEND Ro Ro thanks you for this!

But this all comes back to knowing ur audience.   Not everyone is going to take to tough love right off the bat..  We ain't talking about cudding up to someone, either.  It comes down to treating someone the way you would like to be treated yourself. 

I come at most people talking TO them not AT them because if you come at me with that judgemental stuff with no substance to back it u***** real solutions other than to berate, yeah, I may come back at you in kind or shy way (depending on my mood that day. lol). 



 

Thanks D!

Perhaps that would be a ground rule # 3...try to establish a rapport with the Newbie...I mean some but not all make an effort to take that initiative.  I have seen newbies come on the scene and post something and no one replies... I have to be honest I do make it a point to try not to let one post go by me with no responses  I see others do it as well...that's just yet another way...the person can feel rejection or acceptance....hence the beginning or a relationship/rapport.

Now on the other hand...I do have to go back to my inpatient treatment days....folks checked into the rehab knowing the expectations up front ...that it was going to be an environment of tough love....sometimes just knowing...and getting the feeling that folks have just a little more experience than them...opens the backdoor for acceptance of the tough love approach. I think the same could apply here...Of course there were those that still ran...but in most cases it really had more to do with where they were at.(not ready to let go and surrender) rather then the advice that they were being handed.  

  to that.

So if a newbies come on talking 'i'm two months out and just struggled down half a pizza' was I wrong?

i gotta be all - now, sweetie, that's probably not on your NUT list and it MIGHT be good for you right now - you should maybe try eating a salad........

What is so wrong with that?

not everyone needs to hear or deserves to hear "Yo, Biotch...Put the mo'fo'kin' pizza down.  What are you, fugging stupid, Biotch??"

How about something in between?  Maybe like, "Not for nothing, but eating the pizza is what got you to the point where you needed surgery in the first place possibly, no?  Why would you want to go thru lying on the table, being pumped full of anaesthesia (sp?), risking DYING on the table (yeah, it's happened) only to mess it all up by eating stuff that you shouldn't be eating?" 

No, it doesn't have to be all touch-feely and stuff, but, it doesn't have to be a punch to the gut, either. 

ain't nobody came with the cussin as an intial response to ANYONE - so you're off base.

and the one you suggest as in the middle is the tone other responses have been given in and then blasted for it. 

so now what?

Trina,
Its an exaggeration, honey.  I know no one came at her cussing..but you're acting as if this is the only time the pile on mentality has happened.  You and I know that isn't case, Trina.  lol

True dat, bruh - HOWESOMEVA..................

even when the reply is nice/harsh - there's blowback - you seemed to suggest that a nice/harsh response would work.......