Warning - Drama Post

ktjajj
on 4/22/09 12:45 am - Buffalo, NY
Hey D,

I hope you had a good trip. As you know I found BAF months before I had surgery. I had the chance to observe first, since I didn't have any wls questions yet. When observing I started to see how people got down. Since I know ME I know I would have been upset by the way they treat newbie questions. You do something wrong and automatically you are not serious about losing weight. You get questions like why did you even have the surgery? Its really condescending. *I* choose not to put myself in that kind of situation. There are some great people on BAF. People I vibe with. I direct my questions to them on the BL.  When I am doing something wrong they tell me. If they have suggestions they tell me. The good thing is they are not nasty about it. Now that is the approach that works for me.
Pregnancy%20ticker

"Real change comes from within"
# 1 MACK_MAMA
on 4/22/09 12:51 am
Ok - Ktajj - WE cool so you know how I mean this......

If you lurked for so long, then you also saw all the advice and feedback on what not to eat at certain points, how to focus on protein, not carbs, water and not diet sodas, no sugar - blah, blah, blah.  So if you asked a question of 'why am I stalled and all I eat is mashed potatoes?' would you not think that someone would blow back on 1 - was that on your NUT list of approved foods and 2 - don't you know the protein commandments of WLS?

And if a vet blasts back on it - especially if it's a vet admitting to weight GAIN due to falling off the wagon - wouldn't that seem as a warning of possible issue or failure rather than blasting for blasting's sake?

I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions!  I'm saving on the newsstand price.......

Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/

ktjajj
on 4/22/09 1:00 am - Buffalo, NY
I get you MM and although *I* would probably not have a diet full of carbs because belive me I study my NUT list of approved food like the bible(actually better than the bible lol). My fear is that one day I will have a question that may seem innocent to me and I really need help and I might get jumped on for it.  I think Meekie was really looking for answers because in the beginning people were giving her suggestions and she was saying thank you to everyone. It turned ugly when the responses got harsher.
Pregnancy%20ticker

"Real change comes from within"
# 1 MACK_MAMA
on 4/22/09 1:09 am
Ionknow - guess you could flip it both ways - i mean - you can say that all that should have been said was suggestions - but on the real - doesn't a newbie DESERVE to know that taking in those carbs early IS sabotage?  I mean - you may not be far enough out to KNOW like WE do - that carbs to a WLS patient is like blood to a pit bull - once you get a whiff- you HOOKED fa LIFE and gotta be put down!!!!  LOL

So - it's a strong message, but it's a stronger reality when you 3 years out and still got 50lbs to go.  If somebody said that to ME - I would be like, 'word?  why you say that?  I wanna be sucessful!  so where am I messin up?' 

I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions!  I'm saving on the newsstand price.......

Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/

Dalexis
on 4/22/09 1:15 am - Brooklyn, NY
Trina,
I think what it all comes down to is not WHAT i said, but HOW its said.   For example, if you come at me like a drill sargeant and you don't know me from a can of paint and I don't know you, how can I take it but threateningly and how can I act but accordingly?

Granted, there are those of us here who are brutal with their bluntness and will get that point across no matter how hard it comes at the reciever. 

There are others who are a bit more subtle with their approach.  To me, how u deliver a message should depend on the type of relationship you have with that person.   If you don't know the person beating them over the head with bluntness may have the person focusing NOT on what ur saying but HOW ur saying it and the message is lost.

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."   Plutach.  Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.

www.myspace.com/dalexis863

# 1 MACK_MAMA
on 4/22/09 1:17 am
preaching to the choir.  I'm a damn manager - I know all about approach..... LOL!

but I also know that when I join a new company or team, I lay 'in the cut' and get to know the mofos before I square em off - you gotta peep game in the lion's den before you go grabbing the queen's bone - you dig?

I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions!  I'm saving on the newsstand price.......

Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/

Dalexis
on 4/22/09 1:24 am - Brooklyn, NY
That wasn't specifically for you, but for other Mo'fo's reading, Trina.  lol

I don't know about grabbing no queen's bone, though.    I love women too much.  LOL

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."   Plutach.  Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.

www.myspace.com/dalexis863

# 1 MACK_MAMA
on 4/22/09 1:26 am
See - how you gon start a generic 'for the greater good' post with Trina,

LMAOOOO - I feel you - it's all good!!!! 

I don't just have issues, I have subscriptions!  I'm saving on the newsstand price.......

Check out my dating mis - adventures at: http://1macdatinggame.blogspot.com/

Dalexis
on 4/22/09 1:45 am - Brooklyn, NY
One aspect you forgot to mention about checking out the lion's den is that ppl are more prone to do that, it seems in real life than in cyber life.  Its really easy to be "real" when protected by a keyboard, a monitor and distance. 

Not that that sentiment applies to everyone, for we know it doesn't, but for some?  Yuppers. 

"When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer."   Plutach.  Not true, for there are always more worlds to conquer.

www.myspace.com/dalexis863

ktjajj
on 4/22/09 1:19 am - Buffalo, NY
Yeah a newbie does need to know that. I am not saying it shouldn't be said. I just take issue in how it was said and the stuff that came afterward. On the original post not even the second post.  It went way overboard. Do you think it is ok to say most newbies coming out are young and immature? And if so how do you think that helps someone to succeed?
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