Intro and a question

First i would like to introduce myself. My name is Tywon but my boys call me Big Serious. Another member called me BS and then asked for my real name...lol she is nice...You know who you are. I am getting very close to my surgery date so any advice or suggestions  will be great.

Now for the question. I know a couple of people that has had the Bypass and i have heard the stories of mind games.

1. Still buying big clothes
2. people thinking that you have changed (attitude)
3. 1 person said they walked past a mirror at church and thought they saw a visitor and it was her.

Have any of you experienced anything like this?
 
I was also told to be prepaired to loose some freinds because you will hear alot of "You are differnet since you lost weight".

Is this what i am in for? 

Hey Tywon, glad to see you posting on the board...welcome!  Just take your seat and enjoy the ride - and yes, you will experience life changing events after surgery...as for the "still buying big clothes..." NEGATIVE! Never did that...LOL (well, maybe once, cuz I didn't know any better).

And guess what - #2 - they are CORRECT! You WILL change! Your attitude will change; your looks will change; your tolerance will change...they just need to accept it or...not.  And I can say that we have all experienced most of the stuff you mention in your post...nothing unusual.

DD

 

Welcome!

#1 stop buying clothes, in a few weeks after WLS you wont even fit them.

#2. exactly it PEOPLE! they will think YOU changed but really you are the same person just more confident!
#3. You will get that.

As everyone on BAF tells me this WLS is a lifetime journey. Prepare yourself for the changes!

~A

When I was pre op my mind was filled with visions on how the weight would fall off. How the haters may come out. But you know what my reality is. Learning how to eat the right things without getting sick. Getting my water in. Getting my protein in. Taking my vitamins. Getting my daily exercise in. My mind is so wrapped around that I cant think past this stage. So in my opinion that is what you are really in for.

Hey Big Serious! Welcome to BAF!

Speaking for myself...you really do need to prepare yourself mentally for this journey.  I did not do that initially and ended up in big trouble.  The fact that you are even asking these questions is a a GREAT start!  Questions 1-3 above present some very valid issues that you might confront.

Questions 1 & 3
If you follow your Doctor's program (which I know your will), you will more than likely lose weight fairly rapidly during the first year.  Now for me...I was not prepared mentally for this rapid change.  Not only did I succumb to the negative comments like..."wow...you are losing weight too fast" or "don't lose to much or you will look sick"...also started to sabotage my own surgery because I started to fear the excessive skin issues.

Now to combat all this negative thinking...you really need to keep it fresh in your mind why you had the surgery to begin with...too improve your health and hopefully live longer!...it was not for vanity reasons (at least not for me).   Its wise to keep a journal so that you can really think about and be ON BOARD wholeheartedly with your final decision to have WLS.

Some folks do continue to buy big clothes because its hard to make that adjustment or even believe that the weight is coming off.  This is why its so important, at least for me, to take pictures of yourself, so that you can look at them a little more objectively than you do when you are looking in the mirror.  Even now...I can see myself a lot more positively when looking at a picture rather than when I look in the mirror with the EXACT same outfit on.  Looking in the mirror...I don't even see the weight loss...the image is too connected to me emotionally at that moment...and of course depending on the mirror (it may distort the image too) 

Question 3
 
People are going to come at you all kinds of ways....be prepared.  A part of what happens is that by making changes in yourself....in essence.. .you will upset their comfort zone.  They may not know how to approach you on certain things because they JUST assume that you might act differently.  I just have to remind folks that I am still the "same ole" Lisa...only difference  now I am really trying to FIGHT the battle of the bulge....and will not let anyone stand in my way.

Recognize negativity and/or jealousy for what it is and keep on stepping...you don't have to feed into it...unless you want to.  I am sure they don't pay your bills or provide the roof over your head.  If They are true friends...they will ask...how can they best support you...or at least try to remain positive.  Sometimes it does involve the person who has had WLS to educate those in their circles so they understand.

At any rate...this is my 2 cents...I am sure you will get other feedback.  I hope you have a great weekend!  

welcome to BAF   everyone has all ready given you great advice.  i will only add that this is a NEVER ENDING journey.  dropping the weight is only part of the equation...the mental thing is so much more.  i'm still dealing with the mental and may for quite awhile.  again, enjoy this life-long journey.

Welcome BigS!!!   Great questions, I thought about those too so thanks for askin’   One of my friends(non surgery) told me that after I have my WLS that I probably wouldn’t like the guy I currently like because Ill look different, hell I think Im cute now. Its funny how people on the outside looking in think that surgery is more about looks than health   Wishing you many Blessing in your journey!!!!

Hey Tywon...

Name is Valerie. More of a lurker on BAF but come out every know and then. Had RNY 3 years ago.

1) Still go in the store and look for the largest size they have. Takes a minute for me to hold it up and say that looks to big and realize I need to move down to my current size. Have slipped and went home with some large sizes.

2) No change in attitude. Still silly old Val.

3) I have always avoided mirrors and the camera. I am finally learning to really look at myself in the mirror and I enjoy the progress but I have not totally wrapped my mind around the changes as evident in #1. I have found that pictures have been a good help in this area.

I think with losing the weight so fast my mind is just grasping all the changes much slower. In our NC support group, we started a book club support group of sorts and are reading the The Beck Diet Solution where they focus on cognitive therapy. Definitely a big help with the mental side of the changes.

Blessings to you on your journey!

Everyone has pretty much answered your questions...just wanted to say and welcome to BAF.

Hey Big S, good to meet you

Welcome to BAF and congratulations on starting a new healthy and happy life. 

#1. no you will look @ something and think, this won"t fit then try it on and it"s wayyy to big (kinda scary but great feeling) you get use to the new size once you stabilize at your goal weight

#2. yes (that's more about you having higher self esteem/better self image)

#3. yes  (no problem there it"s a wonderful feeling)

*****I was also told to be prepaired to loose some freinds because you will hear alot of "You are different since you lost weight".******

yes this can happen --- actually YOU might not meet the need that the person had in their head about you anymore. 

Examples:  a person might have enjoyed your friendship because it made them comfy that they had someone to be FAT with or ..... if you are the larger one they may enjoy the notion that YOU can always be counted on too make them feel thin by comparison.

In intimate relationships you might have been perceived as low maintenance or unable to do better ..... still the person feels superior in the relationship. When you change it forces CHANGE on them whether they want it or not.  In other words jealousy from someone who has esteem issues themselves. THERE PROBLEM!

******* Is this what i am in for? ******

yeah ... maybe/probably ... if it happens, who cares, they weren't in your life for the right reason anyway. Might take losing weight to find that out.  Life WILL be different ... but in the best way imaginable.  Keep us posted on your journey.