Family Drama - Long....

My Moms is probably the most troubled by this. She told me earlier today that she wish she hadn't taken my brother's word. My Pops is not saying anything...I believe he's just waiting to see how things are going to be played out.  

I remember her mother as a good person, but heartache can harden a heart. If her mother has said hurtful things, (whether they are true or not) I'm hoping she can see past that (in time) and get to know us as a loving family.

Wonka.....if I may respectfully say so......I dont understand the actions of your brother.....not for nothing...he seems like a selfish somebody because he deprived the baby,  and your family of this  relationship.

He manipulated this whole thing so that he wouldnt have to take accountability for his actions. I know he may have payed support but what about the emotional well being of this child.  She didnt ask to come here and I only pray that someone stepped in as a father figure and tried to make her feel whole in reference to the abandonment and neglect from your  brother.  

It sounds as if it wasnt in the  young lady's power to seek out your family......she was a kid....what  could she do outside of listen to what she was told.  There is no telling what the  the adults around her were saying or doing.  And sadly enough folks were tight lipped and walking on egg shells - the ones that knew she existed and the ones that suspected that she existed but didnt take the time to investigage. All the players in this web of deception and confusion are really at fault and Im sure it  cost this young lady alot of grief. Poor thing !

Im glad to hear that your family is gonna step in and try to make up for loss time. with this young lady.  She may look to you all for answers...but what can you say about the choices that your brother made except for Im sorry.  Just from reading your post...I know that you have every intention on being good to her.  That has got to ease the pain she's felt over time. Im praying for everyone involved.....and in particular your  current sis in law.......this is gonna turn her world upside down. I would think, cause she married someone who kept this secret...no telling what else he's keeping. 

Selfish is an understatement.

There is absolutely no excuse for what he did. I don't care what was going on in his life that he felt the need to exclude him from his(and ours for that matter). My siblings and I grew up with a great Pops and she should have been afforded the same.

I'm hoping she grew up in a loving environment. I went to Wikipedia and looked up the demographics of the area that she lives in. The area seems rough and crime is really high. Her only brother was killed in 2000. I'm praying that she wasn't subjected to any nonsense growing up. If so, I solely blaim my brother. My nieces and nephews have never gone without and have been safe. WHY OH WHY WOULD THAT KNUCKLE HEAD DO THIS.

Let me stop....I'm getting emotional and WonkaD don't do emotional at work.

Wonka....girl Im feeling the same way for you and for that young lady.  You all have been victimized by this man and his lack of concern for others. 

My daughter was also abandoned by her dad......and his family followed suit with not being in my child's life all because I asked that he not just be a father in name...but a father in action. After we broke up,  I didnt need a man that was going  to come to my house and pat my child on the head like she was a dog...I needed a man that was gonna show her an example of what a real man is.  And instead he decided to bow out her life altogether because it was too much of an order to fill. Being a man was far from his makeup. Sad but true.

In the meantime my daughter has gone on to still perservere because oh  well, she cant miss what she never had.....I suspect that this young lady is fortunate in alot of ways. Had your brother been in her life...would he have stepped up ??  Would he have stayed connected with her and did the right thing even from long distance ??? Probably NOT !!! 

And thats not your parents fault or your fault or any other cir****tances to blame.  Thats all on him and his makeup or lack thereof....but trust that your brother is gonna have to answer for his actions. Just the same way we all do.  I pray that this young lady harbor no bitterness and that she take zero/zip/nada of this personal.  She is still a child of GOD...still loved....is blessed with the opportunity to meet  the others on her dad's side who are human and who do know how to love.  And all she will be able to do is respect you and your family all the more for it.  Make no excuses for him because as you said there are none.

Big hugs to you girly..........your family will get past this.  God dosent give us more than we cant bare.......and the things that we go thru only make us stronger.  Some people get their lessons early and it just makes for a smoother ride down the road.  

Dry them eyes......and hold your head up for being able to see what your brother obviously cant.

Its so sad when a child is hidden.  I had to bring the 'family secret', my dear beloved nephew, to meet his siblings and grand parents.  I don't know how the secret got out but I'm glad it did. 

Ironically, his step mother (the wronged wife) ended up raising him as her own when his mom (her former sitter) was deployed to Iraq during last decades war.  She has earned her place in heaven. 

Hello WonKaD,

Girl, girl, girl.....why so much drama??? 

On the serious note, I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your family.  Girl,  give the situation to God and he will take care of "EVERYTHING."