OT: Your Parenting Style vs How You Were Raised

Thanks for participating but I deleted because it was tooooooo long and I was rambling . lol

Just basically comparing parenting today vs parenting of past generations. I've made sure to tell my kids everyday that I love them and my parents didn't do that but I knew I was loved.

Condensed version.  hahaha

You're not off the mark at all and it makes perfect sense. 

Unfortunately, our children's generation really believe that they need to show their 'true selves' to anybody and every body.  They have not internalized that different relationships like school and work require we reveal different parts of ourselves and keep the rest private.  Thats not hippocritical.  Every one you meet hasn't earned the right to know you like that.  Nor do they want to know the true you or even care who that is. 

I was a lot more liberal than my mother.  I took my daughter for her second ear piercings.  I paid for half the nose pearcing and went with her when she turned 16.  By college she let it close up.  I paid for half of the first tatoo when she turned 18.  She chose something small and tasteful.  I encouraged other piercings and reminded her tatoos don't just close up so she got another tasteful tatoo and rejected more piercings. 

I think part of my success is that my daughter is in some ways more conservative than me, combined with the natural instinct to reject anything tha comes from mom.  I suggested lip and eyebrow piercings, and more colorful tatoos; therefore, she has none.  

I also would grab her hair by the back of the head and get nose to nose and scream like a banchee because by her middle school years she no longer heard a normal, non violent speaking voice, lol.  And like you, I tell her daily that I love her.  My parents did not say it but I knew they felt it.  Even if I grew up feeling they did not like me very much.  

I always want my daughter to know I love her as my child, and I like the individual that she is too.  Damn, now I'm just rambling.  



 

I feel you on this one.  I was raised by grandma, and she raised everybody so at one time there were 13 of us in the house with two sets of adults and I was the youngest.  We got beat for everything and with everything. 

Now I do not beat my kids for everything, I mean ok you spilled water just get the mop and clean it up no need to scream and smack someone for it.  BUT I have let my childhood ruin some of my judgment because if I had kept on my son he wouldn't be giving me the hard time he is now (he's 17) and now I'm at the point where I have to talk to him like Pookie in the streets.  He has never done things like raise his hand to me or talk crazy but he just doesn't see how important school is and I feel he is throwing his life away.  As for my girls 12 and 9 I do not even have to raise my voice (for now) but I'm on a good path with them and trying hard to keep it that way.

God Bless all parents out there whether you have 1, 2, or 10.

I think the best quote I ever read went something like this:  "you won't make the same mistakes as your parents....you'll make different ones."  That's the truth...

To the revised version:

Our children.  If we didn't love them so completly they could not get under our skin the way they do. 

All that matters is you got it out of your system.  Venting keeps us from killing our young, lol. 

I wont ever live my life through my kids...........I'm going to push them to be the very best they could be and make their own decisions in life.

I alway thought I'll never raised my kids the way my mother did.  The first time my DD ask why not after explaining it to her several time.  Out of my mouth can because I say so.  There went the beginning of be like my parents.  We also never was told that we was loved but you can tell it.  Even now if you even need something they have no problem giving it to you.  Even though mom
don't remember us at all she always walk up to us and give us the huge we always long for.  I never let my kids(kid) or grandkids leave me without a huge and a kiss and I love you.

PS. my parent  look at my child because she always walk up to them and give them a huge and a kiss with of cousre I love you.  Shes the only grandkid that does it.  I think our job was will done.