When the weight loss stops
Let me start by saying I'm thrilled with my WLS. I started at 350 and had surgery in April 2005. I'm at 205 or so, and have been for a while (2 months maybe), with minor movement up and down. I'm in the best shape of my life, working out 3-5 times a week. But I'm beginning to realize that I'm not likely to become one of those people who suddenly weighs 130 pounds. I've been fat (excuse the term) all my life, so I'm not devastated that the weight loss has stopped. I had hoped to get in the 160-180 range (and at 5 foot 5, that's still heavy), but I don't guess I will. I am hopeful that there are others out there who stopped about here. I don't want hints on how to lose, but hints on how to accept that this is it. Any help?
Linda....Here is something I posted on the main board yesterday. I am in the same situation as you....
Before surgery, I thought I wanted to get under 200, since I am 6', but now, just the last few days, I realized that I am perfectly happy at 230. I have not been trying too hard to lose any more weight, and I have not gained any, and I am losing, at a much slower pace. I still feel like I am fat, and I know I am, but I think a lot of it is still my head adjusting, because I definitely get a lot of attention now. I was talking to a guy today in Dunkin' Donuts after work when I was getting my coffee, and when I was leaving, he said "I just have to tell you, I love your curves." Me? Are you kidding???? A few days ago, a friend told me that I was not fat, just thick, and I was "banging," which is pretty awesome.
To be honest, my only goal before surgery was to ride roller coasters, and I do that all the time. I also go to the park with my son every day and play with him. I even go on the slides and swings. I walk. I play raquetball. I have lots of dates (I had a boyfriend for a couple years before surgery which limited my dating, but we broke up because he prefers gorditas). I have a pretty normal life, I go out to bars and dinner on occasion, I do fun things, and I am pretty happy.
So, am I just wasting my surgery but not trying to be "normal?" I would like to lose maybe 10 more pounds, and then I will be overweight and out of the obese category, but I think I carry my 230 pretty well. I am muscular and sturdy, so what is wrong with that?
I have been fighting with myself over the last few months about this. I don't want to disappoint my surgeon, family and friends, and I feel like they think I will be a failure if I don't end up normal, but why should I care what everyone thinks? What is wrong with being a 16? I can buy designer clothes, and isn't that all that really matters? And, I should point out that I have a pair of Avirex suede pants that are a size 11.
Anyone have any thought over being fat and happy after surgery? I am not giving up, I absolutely know I could lose more, but I really don't think I want to.
Carrie
Wow this is something I have been worried about but I guess you have to recheck the reason why you had the surgery in the first place. I did this because I need to get healthy and I would love to be somewhere aroung 180 if it happens great if it dosent I am not going to worry about it. I just had surgery in May of this year and since surgery I have only lost 43 pounds but a total of 53. this was devistating to me since I weight over 400 pounds you would thing the weight would just fly off of me but it isn't. I am just thankful for the tool the Good Lord has given me and blessed me with pretty good health. I actually took a walk outside today, I even have been going to the gym. I think life is pretty good. So just look back at where you were and be thankful for how far you have come.
Lorraine
Lorraine--
Hang in there. Sounds like your body is still adjusting to the surgery and trauma. Hang in there; it gets better.
And, yes, you are right. Surgery was for the knees, to avoid a wheelchair. And now I can walk all day without pain, do stairs without pain, and go to the gym with only normal pain (no one really likes the gym, they just like what it does for them). From being a few years from a wheelchair, where a limp was always present and a cane often present, I am in much better knee health. Thanks for pointing that out!
Carrie--
It sounds like you are doing wonderfully! I'm in much the same situation, clothing from 16 to 1x, depending on how it's made. I am so much healthier than I've ever been (even in high school). Of course, I'm several (throat clearing) inches shorter, but even at 350 nurses underestimated my weight by at least 50 and often 100 pounds. At 240 I told people I wanted to lose 80 more and they thought that would make me too thin (AT 160?!).
Anyway, Carrie, thanks for the reply. I'm glad I'm not alone. And I'm spot on the 70% of excess weight lost; I've never been average before! 
While I was never one to buy into the "you are beautiful at any weight" argument because I was not beautiful at almost 400 pounds, I do believe we don't have to be at the insurance/medical chart weight to be beautiful. I don't know if I will ever get down to that weight--I seriously doubt it--but I can still feel better about myself and confident with my looks. So much about beauty and weight really is in the mind, so I would recommend you do the things you need to get into the mindset that works for you. Me, I read, so I find books on women's issues and weight. Or I try a new foundation that makes my skin look great (and all the water we have to drink doesn't hurt!). I will never look like I was ever skinny or that I'm twenty-something, but I can look and feel great right now for who I am and who I've been.
Good luck on accepting yourself,
Sally
Hi Linda,
I'm in a similar place. I started at 384 and have been stuck in the 230s for a couple of months now. I do hope to get to 199, but, have started to realize, I just might not. I am so much healthier than I have been in years. I had very bad mobility issues, using a cane and limping around in pain. Now, I walk 5 miles a day! I feel great, so I need to work on the self-acceptance stuff too.
Lori
384/235.5/199
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