encouragement needed

Hi  I am new to this forum, I usually am on the Michigan forum but do pop in to view this on as I have a bmi of 61.  Tuesday I am scheduled for my open rny.  I am excited to start my new life and look forward to seeing the new me emerge.  I guess I am just suffering from the usual jitters.    I seem to be more emotional lately- I am guessing that being off my birth control pills and arthritis medication has something to do with it, not to mention the usual concerns with any surgery.  I haven't hurt like this in many years.  My boss at work has been the best possible!  She will do whatever I need these last few days to help me thru, even give me more time off if I need it.  My parents, daughter & son-in-law, brother & sister-in-law have been terrific!  The one that is upsetting me is my husband.  I shouldn't be supprised that he is not being more demonstrative with his support.  He usually becomes quieter when he is concerned and scared, and I know that he is worried about the surgery and my medical needs after surgery.  A nurse he is not!  I am usually the care giver and the problem solver.  I have had alot of experience with hospitals due to my mothers many illnesses in the past 4 years.  I know that hospital care is not always what it should be and that has me nervous.  If anyone has any tips on making it thru the last couple of days- let me know.  I can use all the help I can get.  I have my shopping done and the house mostly in order, so its pretty much just me I have to deal with!  Not being in control emotionally is not like me at all, but I'm not usually the one with the hospitalization. One other question-  how have you set your weight goal.  I cant seem to picture mself at a particular weight, and don't want to set an unrealistic goal.  I know that I really do need to have a goal to work towards. Thanks for listening to my rambles, Annie

Hi there, I had my surgery on 08-06-07, I know what you mean about being anxious.  These are some of the things I did to keep me busy, I got my home in order so it would be ready when I got home from the hospital.  Got all my comfortable clothing and gowns, made sure they were accessible in my closet.  I prepared my foods, froze my cream soups in ice trays and placed the cubes in freezer bags, so all I would have to do is select a couple and heat them up in the microwave, purchased a lot of disposable dinnerware, just to make things easier, actually planned my days, so I could have something to focus on, to help keep me on track. (didn't beat up on myself if I did not get everything done, let my body be my guide).  At night, kept reassuring myself that I made this decision for me, because I want to be the best me possible. Oh yeah, I set my goal weight based on what I thought was realistic for me, I spoke with my Dr's team, the exercise guru, nutritionist and based on my conversations with them and my stats, I am 5ft 4, wear a size 10 shoe, based on length, I am shooting for 150 through 155.  Once again I am going to let my body be my guide.   Hope that helps... Of course ramble anytime you want to, lawd knows I did....

Hi Annie! Sounds like you have your things in order!  Try to relax a bit.  I don't know if you are tempted to have a big "last meal" but I would not advise that.  I was more excited than anxious the last few days.  I told myself that I was planning for a vacation - a wonderful trip to health and living!  That probably does not make much sense but that is how I looked at it. As for goals, my surgeon does not beleive on goals in terms of pounds lost but rather "goals" in terms of health.  I set my own goal, which was a big mistake because I probably set it too low (135 pounds) and I have not been able to get there.  Since I set that dumb goal I feel stuck with it and now it's just this unattainable number that I can't get out of my head.  Sometimes it's hard for me to feel successful because of the "goal" I imposed on myself.  I wish I could just take that "goal" and stick it in a drawer and forget about it but I can't  - i probably need to talk to someone about that because it is making me a bit nutty.  Learn from my mistake.  it's not about numbers on a scale or numbers on clothing labels.  It's about your health, your labs, your blood pressure, cholesterol, etc, your fitness, your ability to truly enjoy life.  You will be in my prayers! Hugs, Tracy

Welcome Annie, I had open rny Sept 26, 06.I started at 470 lbs. I was 59 years old severe arthritis I have had both my knees replaced and been on arthritis meds over 12 years. My concern was how could I just stop them !! I also have Fibromyalgia. Well I had to use a wheel chair back then almost all the time. Now.... I am 309, can walk places what a difference. I do not take thyroid, closterol, blood pressure pills and my diabetes is gone. I do take tylenol sometimes and a pain pill once in a while if I need it. But I am so much better - 160 lbs. It has truly been a miracle to me, more so the medical aspect although being smaller than I have been in 35 years is great too. Oh yes I am the glue for my big family of 10. My daughter said they sure appreciated what I did when I was gone. BUT they managed. About the goal I was 250 when I was married 37 years ago. Since i weighed 200 lbs in 6th grade I do not forsee getting down there. Although my surgeron says it is possible. I set mine realsitic and if I get lower yahoooooo. Good luck let us all know how you are doing after surgery. Please come here for support as it helps us all to have each other. Pam

All of you are terrific!  I will take all your thoughts and advice to heart.  Today was alittle better. Was busy at work and am going to my daughters tonight.  Hope I can sleep better tonight!  I'll let you know how surgery goes once I am home.  Thanks for everything!!! Anne

Wishing you the best of luck with your surgery.  I KNOW you'll do great! Kim

Annie: I wasn't worried about my WLS.  What I was worried about were my recurring cellulitis infections, and that one would flare up and surgery would be postponed.  I kept getting them every few weeks -- I had a bad flareup last July and was frantic that it wouldn't clear up in time for surgery, but the Supreme Spirit was watching over me and I was able to have surgery on my scheduled date. I didn't set my goal.  My surgeon felt I could lose to 175, but part of that would come from plastic surgery.  I set my personal goal at "below 200," and figured anything lower than that is a true blessing.  My highest weight was close to 600 lbs, I was 530 when I started my WLS path and weighed 407 on the day I had surgery.   Good luck with your surgery!  Let us know how it goes! Kix

I think your posting shows you are doing the right things to get ready.  And a key thing is acknowledging that 1) you're moody and 2) your medications--or being off them--plays a role.  Sounds like you are a very realistic person. As for goals:  my BMI was over 66.  I have been obese since childhood.  So I have been very heavy for a very long time.  That, and my age, works against me.  So I have no plans to be "thin" or even what the weight chart says for me (I'm 5'5").  I just wanted to have a BMI in the overweight category.  I don't ever want to be labeled obese by another doctor!  Also, I took into consideration the average weight loss with an RNY is about 60 to 70% of your excess weight.  After talking with my surgeon, we came up with a goal of 170.  That is still pretty agressive, as it is almost 88% of my excess weight.  I agree with the other poster, don't be too agressive or you might find yourself disappointed by a few extra pounds rather than pleased at the lose of a huge number of pounds. But the fun news, I have not only reached my goal, but I'm down to 159.  If I lose 6 more pounds, my BMI will be NORMAL!  I weigh now what I weighed at 15!  I know there's a chance to bounce back pounds, so I don't mind going a bit below goal as it gives me some breathing room so to speak.   It has been a great experience--even the bad days and all the exercise (which I still don't like!)--and I wish you the best.  Keep us posted, Sally

Thanks for all your help.  I think I am about as ready as I can be.  There will always be one moer thing to do around the house- but I'm ok with the way things are right now.  I work tomorrow and then will visit with my daughter and new grandson (he is the best in the world!!).  After that a quiet evening with my husband and a couple of good friends from out of state.  Tuesday will be an early start as the hospital is about 1 hour away.  I feel more peaceful now, and that is largely due to all you wonderful people!!!!!  Can't thank you enough.  I'll post again after surgery!!! Annie