Questions

How do you respond when people ask you about your weight loss?  Do you tell them you had surgery?  How much you've lost?  What if they ask what your goal weight is or how much weight you still have to lose?  I haven't made a secret of it by any means - people are going to notice and assume surgery probably anyway, but I don't like giving out numbers.  I had a conversation with a surprisingly nosey person today that kind of left me unsure what I will do in the future. 

HEY DUNNY,         GOOD QUESTIONS.... I FIRST OFF HAVE TO SAY THAT EVERYONE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT WHEN YOU ASK THIS.. I KNOW SOME FEEL ITS IN NO WAY ANYONES BUSINESS AND OTHERS ARE LIKE WHO CARES... I AM FORTUNATELY ONE WHO IS WHO CARES... I GOT TO THE POINT THAT I DIDNT CARE WHO KNOWS... SHOOT. I WAS SO HAPPY TO HAVE WLS I HAD DONE TOLD EVERYONE I KNEW ANYWAY LOL... IF THEY COME UP AND ASK.... WHICH EVERYONE I KNOW DOES EVERYTIME THEY SEE ME.. I TELL THEM WHAT AMOUNT I HAVE LOST...  NEVER HAD ANYONE ASK ME HOW MUCH MORE TO GO BUT THEY ARE TELLING ME NOW FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS LAST WEEKEND THAT I DONT NEED TO LOSE ANYMORE... IM FINE JUST LIKE I AM... WELL OF CORSE YOU ARE... IF YOU DONT LOSE BUT TO A CERTAIN WEIGHT AND IT STOPS... WELL THATS WHERE ILL BE.. I FOR ONE NEVER EVER SET A GOAL... I HAVE DONE THAT MY WHOLE ADULT LIFE....GIRL, YOU WILL MEET NOSEY *&% PEOPLE EVERYWHERE YOU GO... JUST DEPENDS IF YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT TELLING... YOU WILL FIND THE MORE YOU LOSE AND THE BETTER YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF THAT YOU WANT TO SHOUT IT OUT TO ALL THAT WILL LISTEN.. I JUST DONT WALK UP AND START YAKKIN ABOUT IT LOL.... HUGS MARGE

That is an excellent question. I don't know what I am going to say. I have not kept it a secret at all. But I don't know how I will feel about numbers. I guess I will just have to wait and see.

Hi Jen, I told a few people about my surgery, but really didn't want the noisy ones giving me an opinion on it, so for the most part, everyone just thought that I'd had my gallbladder out.  It did come out as part of my surgery, so I felt that I wasn't lying about it. Now, 7 1/2 months later, it is WAY to obvious that I had to have done SOMETHING to have lost this amount of weight in that period of time.  When people ask, I will tell SOME (most) of them that I'm eating really well, exercising lots and that I had surgery to help with my weight loss.  There are others that I leave out the surgery part to -- those are the ones who would tell me that I shouldn't have done it, etc, and I still don't want to hear their opinion on the matter.  It is a personal choice as to what to say, and that will be different for different people.  I have a few very close friends who will ask me how much I've lost and if I'm near my goal weight yet, and a few people who are not so close that will ask me how much I've lost, and I just tell them "quite a bit".  I don't give out my starting weight, or my current weight, to these people, and I also don't tell them that I still have about 40lbs to go.  Most people think that I weigh about 180 now, and would not think that I'm still over 220.  I don't need to fill in the blanks for them. I think you can say what you feel comfortable saying, and that will be different for each person, especially if you know them well enough to know if it will cause a gossip fest about you of it they are truly supportive about your efforts.  Most people will have a small regain following surgery, and I don't think that the majority of the public understands this.  I also think that they don't have a clue about the upside and downside to this surgery or what my eating life entails.  I don't want to have to go into that with them, so I just choose to be somewhat vague.  I don't want to get into everything, so I don't, but you will have to make that choice as to how open you want to be with everyone.

I have no problems at all telling people that I've had Lap RNY, I'm proud of it, and want to share with everyone. I have heard everything you can imagine from everyone, and I let it go in one ear and out the other. Since surgery I have met a woman dating a good friend of ours, that had surgery 4 years ago, she looks great, and can eat anything. She tells me I will someday too, and I always responded that I've made a choice not too.  Because I've made the choice to be very open, I've had people that want to help me. A regular tenant used to bring donuts to us at work once a month, after surgery she called first to ask what I could have? I told her not to worry about me, and she insisted, so I told her I'd love a banana. Guess what she brings me each time now? I love it . I've made a choice to live a healthier life and I'm not afraid to tell anyone. This surgery saved my life and if I can help one person to learn more about it then I'm a happy camper. I will say I tell people how much I've lost, but I will not tell them how much I weighed or a goal weight, it's still embarassing to me.

I tell them the percent of excess weight I've lost, like "I've lost about 30% of my goal."  That gives them numbers but nothing specific.  If they get more detailed, I make a joke about not answering questions about weight or age in polite society.   Sally

Well, since I am still FAR from anywhere near a goal weight, I don't tell people what my weight is, but I do tell everyone how much I've lost so far!  Especially since my 11-month weigh-in day yesterday, I am down 201 pounds! Which, for the first ime in over 15 years, brings me under 300 pounds!!!  When people see me, who didn't know I had surgery, or haven't seen me yet, or in a while, they are amazed, some, at a recent party, said they didnt recognize me! Which is bizarre to me, but I'll take it!  I do say, yes, I had surgery, and how much I've lost so far.  And I've only had 1 rude person ask me how much I weigh, and I just think that is rude to ask ANYONE.  One day, I might be happy to say that #, but right now, I'm just happy to say how much I've lost!

That is rude!  A similar thing happened to me yesterday at a seminar except she danced around it.  She knew I'd had surgery, its hard to keep it a secret at school because I missed the first 4 weeks, and some time in the spring after my heart cath/ivc filter procedure, so I've been pretty open about it there. She asked how much I'd lost and I told her, then she asked my goal weight and I told her.  We talked a little about what I can eat, how much, etc, I answered some questions about the surgery - then she went back and asked how much I had to go to get to my goal weight and how long that would take.  So if you add the numbers you'd get my starting weight.  I don't know if she meant it that way but I'm not stupid, I can do the math too.  I was a little flustered and said "quite a bit, and I don't really know how long it will take or if I will even get that low, but I'll be happy about every pound I lose on the way"  And then I was helping myself to some of the refreshments at the seminar (cheese and fruit and a little bit of spinach dip) and she butted in asking if I should really eat cheese or dip when I am trying to lose weight??  Loudly!  I was pissed but said yeah, I eat cheese for protein.  The whole incident really bugs me still today. 

I haven't come across anyone, YET, who DARE comment on my eating!!!!! People are just rude, idiotic and just don't think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've always wondered why people think that heavy people are "fair game" for rude questions or comments.  I've been heavy most of my life and it has happened SO many times when I've been eating - "Can you eat that?" or "Are you supposed to eat that?"  I would never DREAM of being that personal with people!  I mean I could say, "Is there any medicine you can take for your insatiable curiosity or for your rudeness?"  I have a question for you lap-banders - how often do you have to have a "fill" and how long does it take?  Have a great day ladies! Lori