Ugh

What a day today was! I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my aunt (my dad's sister) asked me to be her power of attorney when dad died (dad was it before) - her son is a bit of a loser who would prefer to get drunk and steal all her belongings rather than help her in anyway, shape or form. So it makes sense that I would be the one she choose. Well, today she died. She was definitely ready to go, she was in so much pain in the end. She had the same disease my dad did, which is just a horrifying thing, and was much more advanced than he was. She had pretty much lost all hope when dad died and made a quick downturn the past couple of months - I'm just glad she is at peace now. However, the fireworks have already begun - her son, the loser, is already talking about what he gets, what I can do for him, etc. Even her friends are getting into the action and honestly, they are pulling me in a million directions. I'm flying to St. Louis Thursday, which means I won't be able to see my family in Texas for Thanksgiving. And I'll be there for the next week for the funeral and handling of her estate. At this point I'm exhausted - I have been on the phone all day today and I'm sure it will be the same tomorrow. It's also bringing up some of the emotions from when dad died and it's getting more difficult for me to think clearly. If you think about it, could you send a prayer, good thought or whatever you like to do my way? I'm worried about this week and what to expect with this family - they are known for being drama kings/queens and it could be a very long week. Oh, and send some of those great turkey smells my way as well - I will be spending my thanksgiving on an airplane with little hope of having a nice turkey dinner (which is my favorite meal!!) thanks guys - you have all meant so much to me over the past months!

Oh, hell.  I was thinking about you all day today, now I know why.  I'm sorry all this is happening so soon after your dad. Tell the son (and all the other busybodies) to **** off and take care of the estate per your aunt's wishes.  You have her will, so just follow the will and the others be damned.  Your aunt is lucky to have such a devoted niece. I'll send every prayer I have in me, and I'll make sure the family sends good thoughts as well. Love, Kix

Thanks my dear, I appreciate it. I'm trying to figure out the best approach to dealing with all these people, especially since most of them seem to dislike each other. Oh my, this funeral could be so much fun   Luckily I inherited my dad's diplomatic nature, so I'm hoping that will serve me well. I've got to admit, I'm disappointed that I have to spend my holiday there - I was really looking forward to seeing my brother and his family. Actually, what I would really love to do is crawl in bed and ignore this whole thing - hell, her son does that all the time! Have a great Thanksgiving with that family of yours! Hugs Pam

Your aunt was one smart lady to appoint you as her representative!  You will be blessed for this.  It's funny you say that about your dad - I was just going to say before I read that line to pretend that he is with you during this (because he is) and use that strength. You are such a good person!  You are in my prayers.

(((((((((PJ)))))))))  What a bummer!  I'm sorry for the emotional turmoil this is/will put you through, but I definitely agree that your aunt was a smart lady to make you her representative.  If it all overwhelms you, just think about how you are doing this for her and in a way for your dad too.  Since he was her power of attorney before, you can use it as an opportunity to remember him by trying to handle it the same way he would have handled it - diplomatically, and from how you've spoken of him, with class.  I'm sorry you get to miss you favorite meal too, and travel on Thanksgiving, ugh!  I wish you the best and although I am not personally one for prayers, I'll send as much positive energy as I can muster in your direction(s).  Take care of yourself!

I am sorry for your loss.  It is never easy to lose someone you love and unfortunately the idea of inheriting seems to bring the worst out in even the best people.  I'm guessing you were also named the executrix of the will?  I do hope she had a will--that should help a bit.  My only advice is to make contact with you a bit more difficult.  If they have easy access to you, the drama can get overwhelming quickly.  And document everything in writing and let them know you will be doing that from the very beginning. 

But it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, so you should be fine.  But be sure to take time out for yourself--get a good massage, facial, or whatever relaxes you--with the cell phone turned off!

Good luck,

Sally

Sending you a great bug hug...so sorry for your losses....both your Dad & Aunt. I know all about family being torn apart by greed. I saw it when my DH's mom died. It disgusts me.   Your aunt chose you because she had faith in you to do the right thing. Have that same faith in yourself. Be strong and support her wishes. Do not let people intimidate you or tug at your heart strings.  I feel so bad you will miss your Thanksgiving, but unfortunately death sometimes has bad timing. WHatever you do, don't turn to food for emotional support. I'm sure you've learned along the way that food is NEVER the answer.  Dealing with the death is hard enough, but you have additional pressures. Bless your heart and please know that we are here for you. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are.  Sending hugs & prayers your way!!  

My thoughts and prayers are with you, PJ.  I'm sure you handled the family diplomatically, and will do the same as it relates to your aunt's estate.  If you haven't already done so, you may want to hire an attorney to help you probate your aunt's estate.  Then if you need someone to be the "heavy," you can use the attorney.  We are in the process of probating my grandmother's estate and, as with all families, there's one troublemaker.  Our attorney is handling him, and she can be much more objective than we can because she's not emotionally involved.  Anyway, just a suggestion -  Kellie

HEY PJ,       LATE TO THE GAME HERE BUT WANTED YOU TO KNOW I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU AT THIS TIME... I KNOW DEALING WITH FAMILY DURING A DEATH CAN BE SOMETHING ELSE... AS I USED TO SAY WHEN THE PERSON IS ALIVE THEY OWN CRAP.... WHEN THEY DIE ITS AN HEIRLOOM.... UGH... FAMILY... HUGS MARGE