Date

No, not a surgery date--that was Nov. of '05--but an actual date on Friday night.  As someone who grew up obese, I never really dated.  My mother, bless her little dark heart, drilled into me that no man would want a fat woman and if he did, it was evidence that he was a pervert.  While later I could see that wasn't true, it was still part of my own self-image.  Now that the weight is gone, I've decided to try to seek out some relationships.  And so this Friday I have my first real date.   Here's to a great 2008, Sally

Congrats!   I hope you have Fun!    Estelle

Love your new picture Estelle, you are so pretty!

Thanks Jen!

Yay Sally!  Congratulations on your first real date!  I hope you have a ton of fun I never really dated in junior high/high school.  There were a couple of guys who liked me but I think they would have been to embarrassed to date me in the rumor-filled haven for evil teenagers.  I dated more in college, but still not a whole bunch.  Then I got serious with the now husband @20 and he moved in @21 so I guess I didn't get a whole lot of dating experience (and hopefully won't have to!).  Thank goodness I didn't have anyone telling me things like that though, you poor girl!  What a terrible thing to say! Here's to a great 2008 with lots of sweet sexy eligible men knocking at your door Jenn

wow, sally -- that is so cool! i've never dated in my life, so this sounds like a HUGE deal to me! hope you have a wonderful time. deb

Thanks, I'm really excited.  Unfortunately he wants to meet for dinner shortly after I get off work so there's no time to "doll up."  Maybe that's a good thing as it will keep me from getting silly about it.   I didn't know if I'd ever date--and I'm no spring chicken so the chances were getting smaller every year! Sally

maybe you could leave work a bit early?? getting "dolled up" would be fun...go ahead, you have every right to get as silly as you want! and hey, i'm no spring chicken either, having turned 51 the other day!

Sally, Have a wonderful time.  We want to hear all the details on Saturday, unless the date is really good then we want to hear it all on Monday. Jeanne

Your post really hit a nerve.  My mother was exactly the same way.  Why did (do?) mothers do that to their daughters?   My mother had a very dysfunctional relationship with my father.  She loved him too much, and he didn't love her at all.  I think he loved her briefly when he came home after serving in the Navy during WWII, and she was all caught up in how hot he looked in his uniform.  They got married and started having kids right away.  He felt trapped, and wanted to leave, but his dad shamed him into staying.  She reacted to his feeling trapped by becoming clingy in weird ways, alternately threatening to leave with only some of the kids (I was always told I'd stay with dad because I was smart like him). Meanwhile, she was forever telling us girls that no man would want us if we were fat, or promiscuous, etc.  I was popular in high school and I think she was a bit jealous of that, so she always had these little barbs to stab at my self-esteem.  I rebelled by vowing I would not allow her to turn me into a frightened emotional cripple like my older sisters.  Meanwhile, I used food as a coping and a controlling mechanism.  I grew up in a home where I was always put on a diet, yet my mother continued buying the very foods that made us fat (snacks, sweets, soda pop) and served enormous portions at meals, where we were required to clean our plates, or else.

For the most part, I have excellent self-esteem except when it comes to dating.  I figure no man would want me because I'm not reed thin, and if he actually did want me, he must be either gay, or a pervert, or a mooch.  Sigh.  I bought into that when I was younger, seeking relationships that weren't always healthy.  I think I'm past that now, but I'm not sure because I haven't dated recently. None of my siblings have had happy marriages.  A couple of my siblings were married for a long time, but not happily.  I'm not sure I'm marriage material, but I remain optimistic.  I haven't actually tried dating in a while, but I'm still working on me. Hooray for you, actually sticking your toe in the dating pool!  Let us know how it goes! Kix