Worst news in my life...need help on ideas from my second family

Lori I am so sorry to hear the news. You are such a wonderful friend and she is so lucky to have you in her life.

I think even remembering and recording your experiences and stories with er, watching her with her children will be valuable memories for the kids as they get older.

Lori,

I know having children of your own makes this so very much harder for you.  You've gotten some wonderful ideas on how your friend can help keep her memory alive for her children.  I just wanted to say my thoughts are with you in this difficult time.  

My best friend in the whole wide world lost her mother to a car accident when we were twelve.  As a twelve year old myself, we kinda felt things out as to what kind of support she needed.  She ended up practically living at our house, and informally adopted my mom as her own.  Its still very sweet.  She insisted that we say "mom" instead of "my mom".  And, really, such a small thing, for such a huge hole in her life.  My mom never hesitated one bit to act as a motherly figure to her, even to this day, and we're 42!

May you find strength and peace through this.

Anna

Lori,
so sorry to hear of your friend. Cancer SUCKS. I lost my 46 year old sister in law to brain cancer last February. We Just Love her and Loved her and Loved her. We did things with her that she liked to do. We took pictures of her doing it so we look and remeber her. she was always brave and never complained. We had known she would only live barely a year after diagnosis. She eventually could not talk to us and then had a stroke so she could no longer talk to us. I live in NJ she in Massachussetts so it was very hard for all both of us.  She is my best friend and I miss her very much.

Last year my other sister in law had her talk into a recorded Christmas ornament. I think she got them at Hallmark.

Stay strong and value all the time you may have left with her. 

Hugs
Donna

I don't know much about this stuff, Lori, but I know that smell holds such power with our memory.  Maybe you could do this for the kids next time you're at Allison's - jot down the type of shampoo, soap, perfume, etc that their mom wears so they can buy it or just go smell it sometimes and think of their mom in the future.

I pray that the treatments prolong her life a helluva lot.  And those children are blessed to have an auntie like you who loves them so much and will keep their mom's memories for them.

I'm so very sorry you and your friend are having to face such sad news!  As far as ideas I would add that she may want to create a memory book/journal for each child so that when she is gone they have a personal memory book of their own.  If she is their birth mother she may want to start with the moment she found out she was expecting them and how she felt, the landmarks of the pregnancy and the story of their births.  If they are adopted, she could modify this to fit her situation.  My adult kids still get a kick about hearing those stories, so her's may also.
Lisa

How about you and she making a quilt of her and her kids' favorite things?  This can include all kinds of fabrics like her favorite shirt, kids blankets, things that will remind them of Mom.  Also, you can add squares of photos with her and each of the kids as babies.  This would be a wonderful tribute to her relationship with her children, and something she can work on too, and they can cuddle with their "Mom Blanket" whenever they want.