This CAN'T be happening!!!!!

My partner of 6 years has chosen today to break up with me. I'm 24 days post op it's xmas eve and I'm sitting here throwing up my guts. How can she do this? While no relationship is "perfect" I want us to get couples counseling and she's adimant about just going herself but is ending what was for the most part a very good relationship. I her. but I am as I've crawled into because the is actually killing me physically. Am I My heart aches and I'm depressed..... I've read somewhere that this happens between relationships @ time - but is this some kind of record? 24 post op? I'm crawling back to bed. This is so unreal. Barbi

I'm sorry you're going through this. You'll be in my thoughts and I hope everything works out in the end. Take care of yourself. You're body is already stressed due to you having major surgery so be careful!!! Keke

Hi Barbi, I'm sorry you are experiencing this at this juncture of your recovery and the holidays. Try to take a deep breath and relax. The important thing for you right now is that you continue to take good care of yourself. Many people are exta sensitive during the holidays. Some are Holiday depressives (sp?) Many of our partners or spouses have their own issues coping with the changes that WLS patients are going through. I am 11 days out of surgery and yesterday was the worst day imaginable in my household. I was so emotional all day you would have thought I had had a baby! I cried over everything and I was definately mourning the loss of "holiday goodies" My family continued to bring them into the house. The smells were very hard to ignore. My husband has been moody for days and I realize that he is missing his old eating partner. Today things are better but I too am alone tonight as I sent them all out to a party we had been invited to. Continue on your plan and as the pounds melt away you will be irresitstable! It's ok that she wants to get some therapy for herself. The therapist might very well suggest that you both come after a visit or two with her. Remember to sip, breath, sip, breath and be good to YOU!!! {{{hugs}}} Laurie

Laurie, My internet is down at home so I have not been able to check my email. How are you feeling???? I so excited that you got the surgery and are home and well. Terri

Barbi, I am so sorry to hear your news. While no time would be ideal to hear those words, it definitely is more painful right before the holiday. Yes, there have been reports of many relationships going through many changes after surgery, many leading to break up because it is just too difficult to adjust to the new person that evolves in a post-op. I can only believe that everything happens for good reason. Whether this is an opportunity for you guys to get counseling now or move on, you are going to be taking an AMAZING journey over the next year. She may not be able to handle all the changes now or even down the road, you guys need to be prepared for that transition. WLS is more than shedding the pounds, it reveals a lot of underlying reasons why we overate, it reveals how well we can handle attention (good or bad), it reveals how we see ourselves each day of the journey. Can you tell I have been through a lot emotionally as I shed 200lbs? Anyway, as much as you are hurting today, we are here to help ease your pain and help you try to focused on the wonderful butterfly emerging from the cocoon right now . Thanks for being so honest and open with us on the board. Right now do your best to continue to follow your eating plan and dont fall victim of emotional eating or not eating enough . I promise that however this plays out, you are going to be a wonderful new woman within a very short time, so focus on yourself! Take good care, Amy B.

Barbi, My heart goes out to you - hugs.....may God give you His peace and strength to get through this. Merry Christmas blessings, Tami

Barbi, My heart and prayers and with you. Hang in there as God is always with you. Heal your body first, then the rest will fall in place. Charla

That's just aweful!!! What kind of man would leave someone when they need them the most? I'm so sorry for you.

Barbi, I am so sorry that this has happened. I am just reading this today 122705 so I hope you got thru the holiday ok. Try not to stress. Everything will fall into place as it should either with this partner or a new lady that you meet down the road. Terri

Thanks for the words of support. I ended up in the ER on Xmas day for 6 hours, thereby completely and utterly ruining xmas for my parents and son. Turns out I was completely dehydrated and ended up with an iv and some rx for nausea. I'm still lost. When you care for someone and the sucker punch you like that it stings. God Bless you all and Happy, Healthy New Year Barbi