Gay IN NYC

My surgery is March 4th. I don't know anyone else who is gay and had surgery with my surgeon and done an open RNY open. Anyone have experiences with partners who liked you for being big?

Hi Brad, Welcome to the board. Your surgery date is coming up soon. I'm sure you'll do great. As far as partners liking you for being big......my partner doesn't like for being big, rather she loves me in spite of it. Did this issue come up when you decided to have the surgery?

I have been hanging out in the bear commmunity for a while, and it has been something said to me. "oh we like you big" and such. Not something I want, but just wondering if other people had faced that.

Hi Brad welcome. I have always had a problem with partners having a problem with my weight. Not one person was ok with it. They would bring it up after we were together which always suprised me since I was fat when we were dating. So it has always been very painful. I am single now and have been for 2 years because I don't want to face that issue again with a partner. My parents have been rather cruel to me about it also. But I am doing this for me and my health. Does your partner want you to loose weight or not? Congrats on your surgery dt. Patti

Oh I have had people tell me that I am to cute to have it done, my current partner has been supportive, and my ex is going to be a private nurse for me for my hospital stay, but there are people in the bear community that have been very negative about me doing the surgery. I am doing it for and only me, everyone else could **** off, excuse my language.

Welcome to our little community! I can see how the bear community may view this surgery as a negative, but I see you're pretty good at standing up for what you believe is right for you. Besides, when you get svelt, can't you be an honorary bear?

Jessie...I enjoyed your comment about Brad being honorary bear...My brother is a bear---he is a very large man (we beat the national average---2 gay children in our family). Brad...It is so great to know that you have such a wonderful support system in place. Good luck to you! Cheryl

Thanks so much I got the all clear today for my surgery I am just 20 days away. My doctor and his staff has just been amazing.

Cheryl, I guess we beat the national average too. I have an identical twin brother who is gay! My other half has always dated bigger guys and I was a little worried at first, but although that may have been one of the things that attracted him to me initially, it certainly hasn't been what has kept us together for 10 years. I think he feels like he's got a new husband now. I can fit into many of his clothes now and the other day he said "it's so cute seeing you in my clothes". I didn't quite understand it, but he really liked it. Wouldn't you know that when we went on our vacation to Mexico last year, I got a tattoo on my butt of two bear paws with each of the claws in a different rainbow color. We've joked that when I get to my goal weight, they will look like two ink blots that you would see in the shrink's office. Fortunately, I am only 15 pounds from goal and they are still in tact. I may not be big anymore, but I'm still a bear at heart! Gregg