tuesday

tuesday

i have no clue how to answer your question since i'm still preop and a week or so away from my ed classes and tests, but you have come to the right place for a support system. the guys and gals here are great at listening and providing hugs and hope which we all need in every aspect of our lives. i don't live in indy, but i'd be happy to help you whenever you needed a shoulder. the same goes for everyone else. :D

My husband went to the evening consult with me.. then was there the day of surgery and then picked me up on the 3rd day. a week later he took me to the dr to have my drain tube removed. I had no difficulties so would have been fine at home without him.. Like just leave me alone and let me recover.Following Dr orders is the BEST way to recover. This is a great place for support and friends.. you will meet some great people at the support groups too. I met Elaine, Peggy and Julie..I met the rest of the people on here... Stay on here and go to group... you will get all your answers.. Best of luck, Linda kay

I had RNY surgery 7 months ago and up until now have had ZERO complications. My doctor now thinks I have an internal hernia and I am going in on Feb 22 for an outpatient procedure to confirm and fix if necessary. My husband has been present for 100% of everything but if he could only have gotten off work I would have said definately the day of surgery, the ride home because you can't drive for a few days after you come home. They told me when I was without pain meds for 24 hours and could stomp my foot without pain then I could drive. That would not have created a problem on the pain meds because I did not take any after I got home. I remember using the vaccum just 5 days after surgery and my daughter caught me and yelled "Are you supposed to be doing that""", I told her I thought so because it needed to be done!!! I was like Linda just leave me alone and I know what I am supposed to be doing and did not need anyone to hold my hand and tell me what to do. I'm independent like that. Unfortunately I don't live near Indy or I would be your buddy. But, you will get lots of good advise on here. Read it all then listen to what your doctor tells you and follow it 100%. But if he took time off work it would be after you come home for the first few days.

Gosh, if he has limited time off, I wouldn't have him use it all at once. I would probably want him there the day of surgery, the day to take me home, and for follow-up appointments till I could drive again. I was fine at home alone after surgery. I didn't even have my hubby there for the consults or preop testing. It went all fine. I bet that if you get involved here and at support groups you will find other supports too. We're a pretty friendly group.

Linda, I agree with everyone that the day of your surgery and the day of your release are the two most important days for dh to be there. It really all depends on how well you manage pain..if you have any...that you will want/need him at home for you. Until I got my drain tube out (1 wk post-op), I couldn't drive and I slept in a recliner so that I could get in & out of it on my own. I took care of my own meals..how hard is it to do instant potatoes or nuke cream soup? lol. As to support..I have my hubby & grown kids. That's it, family-wise. I have 'family' in the Terre Haute/Clinton area but not a single one of them has been here for me for any of my surgeries (and the last round in October, I just about died from). No, you aren't 'expected'  or 'required' to have family by your side. Good thing, huh? So who do I have by my side other than dh & kids? My friends here! This IS my support system! I personally went to the organized support group meetings through St. Vincent's as many times as I HAD to and then quit. The ones I went to was very cliquish and it was the same people taking over the meeting every time...and the 'head nurse' let them. I didn't need to hear how wonderful THEY were...I needed to hear from people like me who had questions, doubts, and fears. Hopefully, the organized support group meetings you go to aren't like that.  Many of the folks here are more than just 'support', they are also my very close friends and it is a priviledge to be able to call them 'friend'. Please join in on any activities you see posted on here so you CAN meet people! At the activities. there are usually people from sides of town other than where the activity is at. For many of us, driving to another side of town other than the one we live on isn't a big deal (yay 465, I70 & I65!!). I live on the east side. When we went to Max & Erma's last Thursday to meet Jacqui I drove just a mile or two to pick up Dawn. Then we went to the south side to pick up Gail, then downtown to pick up Hope, and then to the north side..Carmel...to go to Max & Erma's. Ellen came and she's from Thorntown (~half way between Indy & Lafayette). It's nothing unusual for Emil & Becky to drive over here to the east side to go to dinner with us and on March 1st, we'll be joining them on the west side for dinner at the Paragon (which everyone from here is invited to). If you don't know the area of the activity, ask. Someone will be able to give you directions. If you need a ride, ask. There will probably be someone else from the southside either planning on coming or just didn't want to drive over by themself. I know it can be hard to make new friends after you move...but living here in Indy and being a member of this board? There's plenty of activities so all you have to do is join us. And remember, we were ALL the 'new' person at one time so don't be shy! We love meeting new people and adding them to our circle of friends (no cliques here!!). Oh..and you don't have to wait until you decide on a surgeon. Everyone is welcome to our activities...pre or post-op, from anywhere in Indiana, no matter what hospital you are going through or what type of surgery you have, and you are welcome to bring your hubby with you (kids are welcome at most things too with few exceptions...like the hot tub party at my house really isn't geared for kids). Sherri

I don't live anywhere near Indy but I am willing to be of any help that I can be. All you have to do is yell and I will do what I can. Everyone here on the board is just about the best that you can get. I love each and every one of them and haven't bet any yet. I am hoping that will change soon.  As for hubby-mine isn't much for hospitals. He was there on the day of surgery and came up to see me. He took a weeks vacation the week I came home. I could have done things by myself but this was the first time I had any surgery that involved staples and wasn't sure what was going to go on. I found that things were easy most of the time. I probably would have done better without DH because he watched me all the time. It drove me nuts to be honest. My best friend went to the doctor visits with me and to this day she goes to the doctor with me because together we think of questions. lol Just let this board know your needs and we are here for you.

Linda, All the get togethers are posted here on the Indiana board. Just keep reading it and you'll see them! And any posted, you are automatically invited to. Don't wait for a personal invite that says 'Linda, you are invited to...'. It would take WAY too long to send one out to each person..so DO assume you ARE included in the invitation online, because you are! So...the next activity you are welcome to would be Cindy's Pampered Chef party.  Sherri