Just another manic Monday ....
AT GOAL!!
http://www.myspace.com/sweetsherri61
Never allow someone to be your Priority while allowing yourself to be their Option......
Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway...
Hello all. How are you doing? I'm here. That's about as good as it gets today. Mikey is still in Bloomington Meadows Hospital. They were talking possibly about the residential program last week. I don't know what's going to happen. I don't want my baby there 4-6 months, but I also don't want him feeling so badly either. I want him happy and healthy. I just hope he starts responding to the medication and therapy. I am so stressed about all this. I don't know what to do. It was a blessing that we hadn't done our tax return as soon as we got our W-2's. Usually we do, and get it immediately mailed in. But this year we didn't. That was good, because we took it to HR Block and got a RAL which meant we were able to afford all the trips to Bloomington this last week. Tomorrow is my angel Baby, Lucy's, birthday. She would have been nine years old tomorrow. That's not helping me to feel better. I miss her terribly every year this time of year. I remember the good things too, but the trauma of the night I found her dead is still burned into my brain. They tried to revive her at the ER, but it wasn't working. I had to be the one to tell them to stop. That still pains me. Mostly I want to go home to sleep and hide from the world today. But I can't. I have to work here at the state, and at Sears. We need the money. If I don't work, no money comes in. Just another stressor. A co-worker today said she didn't know how I was handling all that's gone on in the last couple of months, that she would have just not made it. I shrugged it off. I mean, what else am I to do? I have to make it. My family's depending on me. It would be one thing if it were just me, but it's not. Besides, people say that all the time, that they couldn't handle such and such, but I think that you don't know what you can handle until it comes to you. I'm going to see my therapist today. That should help atleast. She's a good person to talk to and helps me to stay on keel. I'm still unhappy over losing my psychiatrist doctor. I do have an apponitment with a new one, but I hate having to start over again. Well, I better get back to work.







Highest/Day of Surgery/Current (8/15/09)/Goal (mine)
262/240/150/145ish