My son is home now...

Well,... Here it is a week later. I'm just plum worn out. Mikey's home though. They were recommending residential care for 4-6 months. Mike and I talked and talked and talked about what to do, and we just didn't think that was it. Not right now atleast. We brought him home, because they don't think he could get anything else out of the acute unit. We are going to have a case conference with his school to see about getting more direct service on his IEP. I think they are hesitant of that, but we think it needs to be done. We wanted to get him into a day program that's here in Terre Haute, but it's funded through the school, because it's considered an educational program, and the school said no, they wouldn't pay for that. Sigh. It's so hard to know what to do for him. I just pray we are making the right choices. 

Linda, I am glad that Mikey is home with you and Mike now. I am sure that helps you to feel better. I know that things are hard right now but in time things will get easier. Know that you and your family is still in my prayers and that just trusting God will bring you the answers that you both need right now. Keep your chin up and if you need anything we are here for you.

Linda, My heart goes out to you.  It is so hard sometimes to know what is the right thing to do.  We had a child in the acute unit there at Meadows several years ago as well so I do know what you are going through.  I would keep the pressure on the school.  Of course they don't want to pay for the expense but if you have documentation recommending this the school needs to either beef up their services for Mikey or allow you to enroll him in the day program.  You have been through so much the last several weeks.  I know this is also an especially tough time with Lucy's memories being so strong right now as well.  I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.  Hang in there.  You are doing a good job from the sounds of it!! Peg

Linda, I'm so glad Mikey is home right now. I think parents...well, loving & caring parents, constantly worry if they had made the right decisions for their child(ren). All any of us can do is our best. After that, just trust in God that he is also doing his best.  When my son Jay was young (1st grade), I had made the decision to have him go through in-patient observation/treatment. He was an in-patient for 6 weeks I believe it was (in the summer so it didn't disrupt school). He was diagnosed with ADDS.This was ~20 years ago so ADDS was a fairly new diagnoses. Before that, kids were 'hyperactive'....which..Jay is not and never was. That would take entirely too much energy! The doctors were much better at diagnosing than they were treating kids with ADDS at that time. They tried him on meds that they used for hyperactive kids. For Jay, that knocked his butt out. I could not and would not have Jay doped up 24/7! So I made the decision to take him off his meds. I have never regretted that decision. What kind of life is it for a kid that they are too tired to even smile? It was also dangerous. He would vomit from the meds...in his sleep! I was so afraid he was going to choke to death on his own vomit. I tried to get the school to work with me (Clinton Elementary..yes..right there in Clinton near you). Jay's doctor said that with ADDS kids, you're to give them one paper at a time instead of the stack. If you give them more than one, they can't focus on one at a time..and so none of the questions get answered. That was the only 'special' request we made of the teachers..and the teachers would never adhere to it and therefore Jay did poorly in school. Just recently, Jay was diagnosed with bi-polar. Those of us who know others who have been diagnosed as being bi-polar has a similar reaction to hearing that Jay was....'huh? Are they nuts?'. They have Jay on meds that once again, knock him out. So....Jay chooses not to take his meds most of the time. Who can blame him? Jay is now 25 so the decision to take it or not is in his hands, not mine. I don't know if medically that Jay or I made the right decision about his meds (then or now), but I do feel that we made the right one for Jay. If Jay had been hyperactive to where the meds slowed him down so he could pay attention, etc, I probably would have kept him on the meds. That wasn't the case though. As I said, all a parent can do is their best. I do feel like when it comes to Jay's ADDS, I did try to do my best anyway. He's a sweet kid so I did something right. lol. He has some growing up to do to become a responsible adult....but I could make that statement about several young men that were never diagnosed with ADDS. Shoot, I could make that statement about my 39 yr old brother who was never diagnosed with ADDS or anything else! If you know in your heart that  Mikey is best off at home, then rest easy Linda, it is the right decision for Mikey at this time. You may change your mind in the future as Mikey gets older. If so, just do as your heart leads you at that time. I would ask the doctor(s) to get involved with trying to get the school to step up. As a parent of a child who went through something similar, my thoughts, prayers, and understanding is with you and your entire family. I know how much all of this has affected you, Mike, and Mikey...but when Jay was going through his stuff, it also affected Tiffany a great deal. huggs... Sherri