Saturday...

Good morning everyone! I hope everyone slept good last night. Considering, I didn't do too bad.I didn't wake up from pain until 5:30..and the next dose of vicodin was due at 4 so that was pretty good. I'd been waking up by 3:30 and watching the clock for that next 30 minutes. I'll be taking my first post-op shower this morning. It's going to be strange to not have to cover up my 'wound' since it is all closed up now. It'll also be my first time of seeing my full incision line. And YES, I have every intension of being sure Mr. Bill gets an idea of how long it is!!! To his defence, he really did do better as the day progressed yesterday. He even told me before he went to bed last night that he hoped the pain allowed me to get some rest. Up until yesterday, he had the attitude that I should be able to shake off any pain. He spent more time in the livingroom with me yesterday though and he saw me struggling to get out of the recliner (standing and sitting is a real bear!). He heard me gasp in pain when a little sneeze surprised me. He also was there and saw me trying to hold off until time to take my pain meds...and how at times, I was in pain for 1-2 hours before the next dose was due. I think it is finally dawning on him that I am REALLY having pain with this! I think it is also getting through to him that no, vicodin doesn't take care of the pain but vicodin really was the strongest I was willing to go home being on. So gee...maybe I won't get dependant on it afterall! It will be interesting to see how dinner goes tonight with his mom. I just hope I can manuever all right. They are picking us up at 4:30..and because of me not waking up until 5:30 for my meds this morning, I hope I won't be in much pain then...but then again, maybe it will convince her that her son is an idiot if she had an idea of how much pain I do have. I hope I don't though and that her birthday celebration can be all about Jean, and NOT Sherri! Gail..thank you honey for the card & for the phone call. Love you hon! Cindy...it was terrific talking with you. I'll give you a call next week to keep your boredom (and mine!!) at bay. I hope you all have a terrific day today! Sherri

Sherri - I'm glad that you got a lil bit of rest. :) Well you all.. I finally talked to my PCP about my depression. It's not like I could hide it though to be honest with you all. When they weighed me I burst into tears (I gained 4 lbs and I know its water weight because I've not been able to eat enough to gain weight especially since I'm still having some vomiting plus my lovely auntie is in town) and sooo they knew something was up. I wasn't my normal happy go lucky me to them, I've always put on such a good front and to be honest I couldn't think at all yesterday without bursting into to tears. My doctor asked me how I was doing and I had finally calmed down and stopped crying and I just burst into tears again. I'm just sooo disappointed in myself. I know we all gain water weight but the idea of gaining weight at all just scares me to death. I didn't know what else to do so I had to talk to him. My body image issues are getting so much worse. I have less confidence and stuff now post op than I did at 300+ lbs. I just struggle so bad and with all the issues I've had post op also, between the being sick all the time to the liver issues and stuff now and not being able to find a job who will let me work part time and then when I interview I have been honest bout my g-tube (not like I can really hide it truthfully because when I tape it up it poofs out real good). I want to thank you all so much for being so supportive though. I had a few people PM me to help me realize it's okay to ask for help. I've always been ashamed of admitting I am depressed. I don't know why. Part of it I think is because my husband tends to have the whole "depression is a choice and can be turned off/on" attitude which he is changing and getting better about. Plus I feel bad about it from a spiritually standpoint too, like if I admit that I am depressed and not all honky dory and happy all the time that I'm losing my faith and doubting God's ability to make things better. Of course I'm also at the point where I realize that God puts certain people, doctors and medications in place to help people as well. I know this is a book but anyways I just wanted to update you all. He started me on Zoloft and I'm really anxious about it but I started it yesterday. I'm hoping this will help me get back to myself and start posting more again and what not. I know my little 2 word posts aren't fun lol. Not all the depression is from post op stuff also though I will say that. The recurring bronchitis and just weakened immune system plays into it too and thats stuff I dealt with preop as well. OH we are soo snowed in. Our county has been out of salt since yesterday. They're still debating declaring a state of emergency (all the other counties around us have). Theres a lot of snow out there lol. I was suppose to have my follow up with the eye doctor today bout my contacts and stuff today but I don't feel comfortable driving in this stuff even if I was healthy enough to be able to dig the car out lol. Anyways I'm soo tired so I think I'm going to head back to bed for a couple hours. I woke up so I could call and cancel my doctors appointment. I hope everyone is doing fine!!

Good morning all It is beautiful outside but i hope you all are staying in where it is safe. From my hospital window i dont see much traffic outside. Sherri only you knows how much pain you have noone else does. Misty you went for help thats the best thing you can do. Everyone stay safe and warm