OUR Journies....LONG!!!

As many of us already know ALOT of us have endured so much over the last year or so and are continuing dealing with so much even as I type. That being said, to ANYONE that I have not reached out to, I am so sorry and I have thought about so many lately and after having had some conversations with some fellow Hoosier Losers today I feel a little better and realize that WE all have went through ALOT and that this indeed is a journey!Yes, for the most part my surgery has been a success and complication free, and for that I am THANKFUL- I have been experiencing some emotional issues that I  am having to confront head on and it has been a battle for me, DEPRESSION and I are NOT friends-lol-meds being altered and just wanting to use food as it was before my wls has brought up so many issues and worries. I have had to realize that this is MY journey and everyones is so different but yet alike in SO many ways! We have all arrived at needing this surgery for the same reason as far as being overweight but yet we all can handle the change, perceptions, and fears in different ways as well. I am sorry for rambling- I seem to be just needing to let it all out and am trying to move forward. I have been brought to tears so many times just trying to get it all out and the typing is getting harder to do LOL ANYWAY- I realized today just how much I miss so many of you and how much ALL of you have brought me support even those of you not realizing that you have been there for me. I have been LURKING and have needed an extra kick in the behind for awhile now. I am here daily and know that I should give back and continue to be support for others. I know that hiding behind the scenes has not helped me and want to be there for someone who may need my help/support as well! I am sorry that this is SSSOOO long!! Hello- My name is Dawn- I am still fightin my food addiction and bad habits- BUT Today is a new day!! I am working on my habits and putting myself back on track! Anyone feeling that they need support or are going through anything that they may need to talk with someone. please know that I am here. I may need you, just as much as you need me! Please feel free to email me anytime, or call me, I am in the directory! If you have gotten thus far- THANKS for reading! To EVERYONE that has helped me get through my trials and all this last year, again THANKS from the bottom of my heart! I couldn't have come this far without the help/support of you ALL! I again am not the greatest communicator, as previously metioned. BUT- I am still a work in progress!(I LUV this guy)lol LOVE YA ALL!! HUGZ DAWN

DEAREST DAWN,

  IT WAS SOOO GOOD TO SEE YOU AT THE EXCHANGE!!! I AM GLAD YOU REACHED OUT TO US HERE.YOU ARE SO RIGHT, THIS IS A JOURNEY-NOT A RACE, COMPARISON, OR  "BETTER THAN YOU" GROUP.WE ARE HERE TO LOVE, ENCOURAGE, AND ACCEPT EACH OTHER- "WARTS" & ALL- & I HAVE PLENTY OF THEM!!  I PERSONALLY WAS GLAD TO HEAR I AM NOT ALONE IN MY STRUGGLES WITH FOOD ADDICTION. AS SOMEONE WISELY SAID :" WE HAVE HAD STOMACH SURGERY- NOT HEAD SURGERY. WE NEED TO WORK ON OUR HEAD- WHAT WE ARE EATING OVER/ABOUT;WHAT IS EATING US, AND GET DOWN TO THE "TRUTHS" OF WHY WE ARE EMOTIONALLY EATING"  I LOVE THAT!!!IS IT TRUE HUNGER------- OR JUST OLD TAPES, FOOD/FEAR/ANGER/FRUSTRATION/JEALOUSY/ETC. CALLING???"I AM SOOO GLAD WE GOT TO TALK,& SHARE WHATS GOING ONIN EACH OTHERS LIVES. NOW ON TO BETTER ,HEALTHIER DAYS!!!! BEING 2 1/2 YRS. OUT, IT BECOMES TOO EASY TO TRIP UP, & LET GO OF MY /OUR"TOOL", AND EAT AWAY "FEELINGS". BACK TO BASICS & JOURNALING FOR ME!!! YOU HAVE BEEN A GREAT SUPPORT TO ME AND SO MANY, SO KEEP POSTING, WE NEED YOU,TOO! WE ALL ARE WORKS IN PROGRESS, THANKFULLY WE ARE NEVER DONE TILL WE GO "HOME". SEE YOU ON THE BOARDS OR OUR NEXT GET-TOGETHER.DON'T ISOLATE- EMAIL, CALL, VENT,LAUGH,CRY, THATS WHAT "FAMILY" DOES.I LOVE SPENDING TIME WITH YOU ALL-MY OH "FAMILY" . (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) ELLEN

Thanks Ellen!!! I am shedding more tears!!! I loved having our chat today, too! I know that I cannot continue to look at all of these numbers and compare. I think too many of us do/have and know that it is not healthy at least for me! I have to understand that there are bumps in my journey and that I have hit a few as well as missed a few, And those DANG CHUCKHOLES, I have FELL hard into-LOL! I have always secluded myself with my depression issues, I guess that stems from early childhood and just not talking about certain things, etc I know that I did feel so much better seeing everyone and talking with you personally about our BUMPS and know that I felt so much better knowing that I am not alone, although I knew that, hearing it and seeing it is a whole nother story! I just feel that so many are facing LIFE and life threatening issues that sometimes my bumps don't need to be heard and brought to the forefront- although, I do believe that many of us are going through the same things and may even feel the same way and for that we all need to know it is ok and normal and even if we email privately and not fill the board with some things that to others may feel minute, it does matter and that we all need support, and in MANY different ways and means! You have been one of many that have showed continued support for me through my journey and I am ever so greatful to call you my friend and have had you stand beside me along the way! I may not call often or write often but please know that I treasure you very much and I love you! Thanks again for today and for your thoughtful and needed response! Hugz Dawn

Linda, Thanks! It was so nice meeting you today! As I have stated many times to others, unfortunately for some this waiting for insurance approval is the hardest part of somes journey! That is the one thing that I was fortunate about. Although if I could have a position somewhere to help fight for the approval of others I would be great and be a success at least at attempting it! I wish everyone had an easy experience as I did on that part of my jouney! I do sympathize with you and hope that you can find some insurance assistance that will allow you to start your wls journey, soon! Thanks for offering to be there and to let me know that others are needing support and looking for it too, even though our needed support can vary so drastically, that to each one of us individually it is needed and as important. If not to others, at least to ourselves and those that may be enduring the same things and yet hiding the same fears of not sharing because they too may feel it isn't as important as such and such! It is hard for me to grasp at times but I need to know and believe that it is important to open up and not hold all of my emotions in and let this crazy depression and numbers game take hold. I am working on it! Again, thanks for listening to my new ramble and I am here for you as well! Hugz Dawn

Dawn, everything that you wrote could have come from me too. We are a continuous work in progress and we not only want to keep changing but we NEED to keep changing. Without change we will die. I know that I can't do that since I have just now begun to live. Live a life that is finally worth living and one that I enjoy living. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I struggle with different things and I know that I am going to be having a lot of learning in front of me to do since I am pretty new to this glorious life that I am finding is worth living. All of my family on this board has taught me something and for that I am eternally grateful to all of you. I think of all of you as my family and we walk in the same shoes. Sometimes they may fit each of us differently but they are all the same shoes. We learn from each other and that is why God put us together. I am a firm believer that we don't end up where we are by chance but by devine intervention. I am grateful to God that he brought me to this place in my life. Sometimes I may not like things but that is alright since that is a sign of growth. Growth is a good thing but unfortunately it is also painfull too. We can get through the pain by taking things a day at a time or sometimes it has to be a moment at a time. Whatever it takes to get us to where we are going is alright. WE are alright and we have to believe that from the very depths of our souls. Just know that we all need each other because sometimes we are all we have. Thank you for the help that you have given me and thank you to everyone else on here from which I continue to learn and to grow. God blessed me when he put me here and He blessed me when He allowed me to have this great and ever changing life that He has blessed me with. I praise Him everyday for giving so much to me. I am eternally gratefull to Him and to all of you~my family. I am sending all my love and the biggest hugs ever to each and every one of you.

WOW! You have me crying AGAIN!!!! I love everything that you have said and it is so true! I can't wait to meet you and am looking forward to continuing to be a support link for you along your journey! I look forward to sharing my journeys SHOES with you! LOL!Thanks for being there as well for so many of us and good luck to you as you continue on in your amazin journey! Thanks, Hugz Dawn

Dawn, I know that we all have our own battles that we must fight, but as long as we fight them together.......it makes it so much easier to win the war!  We are always here for you, and we know that you are the same for us!  We may be just a tiny speck on this big Earth, but we all are here for one purpose, and that is to help out each other!!!  If you ever need an ear to talk into, give me a call!  Hang in there, hon......thats what we are all here for........each other! Love ya!

Thanks LaChelle- It was great meeting you today, as well! I have found alot of inspiration from you while in my lurking status! I know that your family has endured alot recently too and wish the best fr all of you and for you as you continue through your journey! It is an amazing ride even with the bumps,CHUCKHOLES and the speed bumps. I wouldn't trade it for anything! Thanks for offering to continue to be there for me as well as ALL of my Hoosier Loser Friends. I know that we ALL need each other and we are a great group and we just need to open up and realize that WE are a FAMILY and WE do CARE!Hugz Dawn

Dawn, If there were two things that I could get accross to people on here they would be: 1) Obesity Help is for anyone who is or has been Obese. It is not named 'Surgery Help' because we all need help rather if we are pre-op, post-o*****t even considering surgery at all. Therefore, it makes no difference where you are in your weight loss efforts, we are all here to support each other! AND.. 2) We, on the Indiana board, are about so much more than just weight loss. People like to put 'OT' for threads about anything other than weight loss on most boards (and get flamed if they don't!). But you know, I have never felt the need to here on the Indiana board. Why? Because ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in out lives DOES effect our eating habits...and therefore, our weight. So we are a FULL SUPPORT board! There are just so many healthy and unhealthy triggers! That said, when we are depressed, human nature makes us want to withdraw...and that really is the time that we need to reach out more than ever! Does that mean you have to talk with others about your feelings or problems? No. If that is what it takes to help..then yes. But what I have found for me is that the more I reach out and talk with others about anything, I feel better! This evening, I was physically hurting. Yeah..I think I over-did it a little bit the past few days. But after I talked with Gail for awhile and then Ellen for abit, I felt SO much better! You can ask them..not once did I say 'man is my stomach hurting right now!'. Talking with them got my mind off of ME. Sometimes, that is exactly what your body needs...physically and mentally. Honestly, if someone is hurting financially and they are getting depressed, know the best thing they can do for themself? Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Help others...and you will be helping yourself. It kinda helps to put your situation in perspective and say 'ok..I'm doing better than I thought'.  And just knowing that, helps you get to the next step..'what can I do to improve my situation'.  Get a better job? Put rules down at home? Go back to basics with eating & drinking? Whatever your situation is..there is a solution! Sometimes, talking with others may help you come up with ideas...and I hope you know Dawn that I am only 5 minutes away...or a simple phone call..whichever you feel more comfortable with. I've been told I'm a fairly good listener...and you'd be surprised at my wealth of knowledge and experience on the topic of depression. Trust me, I've battled it alot since October..especially that first week after they woke me up from the coma. We are ALL nothing more than a work in progress. If we aren't...we're dead, or might as well be! So take pride in knowing that you are! It sure beats the alternative!!! And hon..the hardest thing I have found in life for me is to 'let-it-go'. I love watching Reba reruns. In one, Reba gets really ate up about Barbara Jean (who 'stole' Reba's hubby Brock from her. IMO, she did Reba a favor..lol). Van, Reba's sil tells her 'I have ONE word for you 'LetItGo'. Reba said 'but that's THREE words'. In which Van replies 'Not the way I say it!'. Sometimes, One word sinks in easier than three...so...one word of advise....whenever you can, LetItGo! You will feel so much better for it. And you know I don't get on a religeous track often either, but I will tell you like a minister told me once (and if only I would follow this advise more myself!): Pray to God and ask him to take care of the situation. Place it in his hands..and leave it there! Too often, we ask God to take care of something..and then we continue to fuss and worry about it. GIVE the problem to God and trust him to know what he is doing. We all love you very much. If ever you need a friend, I am here for more than just cakes & house fires..ok? Sherri