Anorexic?

Hi, everyone!  I am about 20 months post-op and have lost 154 pounds.  I am 5'10" and now weigh 168.  My mother said something that bothered me today and I was wondering if others have gotten the same reaction and what they did about it.  She said I am starting to look anorexic, especially my arms/upper body.  Right now I am at the high end of a normal BMI, so weight-wise I don't consider myself anorexic and was kind of upset she said something like that. Anyways, just wondering how y'all deal with something like this. Thanks, Julie

I have had a similar cir****tance. I said something about how much more I had to lose and my DH said well there are already people that tell me you have lost TOO much.  Of course my reaction was "Oh yea, WHO? Put him on the spot and of course he said the 2 guys he works with because they visit my work to work on computers. So I just blew that off and then he said well 2ndly your kids think you have lost too much also. I immediately asked which ones. My 2 girls live close and my son is in Arizona so he hasn't seen me in person yet since my surgery. He said both the girls think I look too thin. Well my reaction was I didn't say anything and started thinking about what he said. Dr. Huse said I needed to think about slowing down because he is seeing my collar bones!! Later I told him I still don't think I have lost too much yet because when my cheek bones start protruding and my cheeks are sunken in then it will be too much. I don't see that is going to happen in the next 7-10 pounds which is where I want to end up at. I know that I can still lose more after that since I am only 9 months out now. My food portions are now increasing and my weight loss is at a slow creep at the present time. I have only lost 10 pounds since the middle of January while not gaining any each week. I'm doing good to lose a pound a week. But the bottom line is you have to be happy with where you are at. I think that family sees the results that this tool has allowed us to use causing the drastic sudden change in our outward appearance and it is a shock to their eyes to see the healthy happy person that we have become.

i think a lot of it is the fact that people (even people you love) are not used to seeing you as a thinner person. they are used to seeing a plumper you for all the years that they have known you. this new you is a shock, and there may be a little touch of jealousy too. listen to you doctor. that's what's important.

My mother, when I got into a size 12 and told her, got 'worried' about me, and concerned I was losing too much weight. That really annoyed me, because my older sister has always been thin. She's probably a size 6. Mom doesn't worry about her being too thin. But for me to get down to a size 12 is worrisome. I think folks just aren't used to seeing us in this way, and so they are unsure how to act. I think they also don't realize the rapid initial weight loss won't go on forever.

Julie, I kind of think that compared to how big we use to look we look so much smaller now. I have had people tell me that each time they see me I am smaller and smaller. One guy at church calls me Skinny Brenda now. One told me that I am wasting away to nothing. I tell them all that it is going to be a looooong time before I waste away to nothing. I think that no matter how slow we think the weight is coming off it really isn't. I know that it seems slow to me because I want to be at goal weight the next day. I am never happy with how fast it comes off. Then again I am compulsive so you sure can't go on me!!!!

Ditto! I just told my husband the other day. The first person to tell me I am too thin, I am going to knock 'em out. They had no problem telling me I was too big, needed to lose weight etc etc.... I will get vicious! SHanna

I was talking to my husband about this today. He pointed out to me how my friend who had a similar surgery about 20 years ago. The stress of the situation did make her appear on the unwell side. With losing the weight, she looked sick. Maybe that is what your family is seeing. In time the stress lessens and features are less drawn.

Hi Julie, You need to remember that everyone has a mental picture of you.  And as you lose weight, their mental picture does not change (at least not nearly as rapidly as your actual size will).  I haven't lost weight in about a year, and  yet, every time I meet up with family members and friends that I don't see everyday, they comment on how much more weight I have lost.  They haven't gotten used to the smaller me and consequently, it is a surprise to them every time they see me.  Try not to take offense and remind them that you are under a doctor's care.  That he/she is monitoring your weight loss very closely and will not allow you to "become too thin" to be healthy.  This will help them to rest easier. 

Thanks for all the replies!  I've become so paranoid about this and it's nice to hear some reassuring words. I've uploaded a new picture if anyone wants to be the judge if I look anorexic or not.   Also, how do I get a picture to show up as my avitar when I post messages?  I'm usually pretty good at this stuff, but I can't figure it out for the life of me. Thanks again, everyone! Julie