Who did you tell?

If you are pre-op are you telling everyone that you are having the surgery? Are there people you are planning to tell post-o*****t at all? For those that have already been banded, do you have any regrets about who you did or didn't tell? Anything you would do differently? At this point I have only told one family member and one close friend and I really have no desire to tell anyone else about what has been a very private decision. I realize that there are people who feel differently and am interested in hearing how you all handled your surgery details. Thanks!

my mom. my sister. (who told her husband) my brother. my roommate. 2 friends who are overseas for a year. my friends at work, but I don't work with them. that's it. Oh my mom did tell an aunt (her sister) which my mom asked permission to tell first. My mom was going out of town and freaked out that if something happened (who knows what?!) that no one would take care of me. Never mind that anyone I called to help me would've helped me without knowing about the band....oh well. regrets: that i told the 2 friends at work. I am (almost) 60 lbs down now and people are starting to notice -- I just show them my exercise log and they see eating changes I've made. Ain't a big deal. jayme

I did not tell many people--- my fiance my parents and siblings my four best friends my secretary my roommate I still need to tell my trainer and that is it. I do not think we owe anyone an explanation. I only told my close friends whose support I would need to get through this. It is private and you do not owe anyone any explanation.

I think I may be a freak in the bunch because I told several close friends, my mom but NOT my dad. For years he said I had such a pretty face "if only I'd just lose weight". He was embarassed to carry a picture of me and take me to work (when I was an adult) because I was too fat. So forget him. I lose weight and probably not even tell him (he's about 700 miles away from me). I've told several internet friends. Most have responded with well wishes; a few never answered my email - guess I know where they are coming from! My mom was worried it wasn't safe and I educated her. Then she was worried I wouldn't get nutrition and then I educated her. She's completely supportive - probably some of my BEST support but is a typical worried MOM. Oh and I tell about every LARGE person that I know casually in person. I think I'm kind of weird like that. All the large people I know around town. My favorite waitress "Oh hey, I'm having weight loss surgery - want to hear about it". LOL Oh and I told the young skinny girl who always compliments me at Staples. Come to find out, her mom is quite large and was considering GB but was terrified of it and didn't even know about LB. I thought the young girl would hug me as I told her about something SAFER for her mom. Oh and I told the lady who fit me for new glasses, cause I wanted to know if my face got less fat would they still fit. LOL OK, I have no rhyme or reason. The only person who said anything semi-negative was another large friend, who immediately told me how a woman in her office had a GB and almost died but looks GREAT now. In fact they are all "worried" she's getting too thin. I figure she's threatening to that group of women and they're jealous. LOL Yvonne

Three people. My brother and SIL who took me to and picked me up from the hospital, a male co-coworker who I trust implicity and had to cover some of my work while I was out. He knows that since he is the only one a work who knows, I'll find out pretty quickly if I hear anybody else talking about it. Same with brother and SIL. I have some very good work friends who are hurt because I was out for a few days and not telling them what it was for (we've all been through a lot together). I did not want to burden them with keeping my secret. They'll get over it, I may even tell them some day when it is old news. I'm so glad I did it this way. Remember, you can never UNTELL, and this is the kind of thing that can become exponential, tell one person, they tell three, who each tell three, and so on.....

At first i only told my mom because i knew i needed her help after surgery then 2 weeks before i told my sisters brothers in laws. because i was excited Then after surgery i went to a wedding i told everyone and felt great about it even the people who dident agree with it. now 46 lbs down i tell anyone who will listen. no shame in my game. love Shelly 213/167/120 5'2"

I tell anyone that will listen. I FINALLY Have HOPE!! I am so excited about this and dont mind sharing with anyone. I have not heard ONE negative word - Just a whole bunch of I am so prouds! We had a shower for my SIL saturday. I have lost 25 lbs (3 weeks tomorrow since pre-op and 2 weeks since surgery) and I could hear people in the back ground wispering. "She is such a beautiful girl - I am so happy for her" It REALLY was a confidence booster. AND THEN, I cant fail. So many people know that I have had SURGERY to lose weight that, barring any complications, I HAVE TO STICK TO IT!! .. My mother is having her sorrority meeting at our house next month and they were all asking her questions about it at the last meeting, SO I am going to be THE PROGRAM! lol

Hi Donna, I have not had surgery yet. I am really torn about this as well. I feel like if I don't tell, I will be hiding something. In some ways I don't care what other people think, but in others I am am afraid to get my feelings hurt by those who will not be supportive or make rude comments about it. I don't know what to do. I originally told my husband that I would just tell everyone who asked, but would make light of it as if it was no big deal. I am afraid if I do not tell, someone will find out sooner or later and then it will be a big drama. I guess I will just have to build up thicker skin! Alischa

I told my friends at work, family, everyone. [I'm pretty open, for heaven sakes I've got a website dedicated to the topic!!] I thought it was important to have support, and it has come from everyone I know. Everyone is different and I understand that as well. Its really your choice about who you tell. I just have a great support network and it was important for people around me to understand what I was doing. My work was very supportive too. They had all gotten together and decided not to eat around me, have food in the break room. I didn't realize they did that at the time. It was thoughtful and appreciated. Kim banded 10.20.03 384/219/180 (www)kimswlsjourney.com

WELL THIS HAS BEEN AN ISSUE FOR ME AS WELL, AND I FIND THAT MAYBE IF YOU KEEP IT TO YOURSELF UNTIL AFTER SURGERY THAT MIGHT BE BEST. I HAVE TOLD MY MOTHER, SISTER AND FIANCE AND ONE CLOSE FRIEND. MY MOTHER IS UPSET ABOUT ME HAVING IT, MY SISTER HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT SUPPORTIVE, AND MY FIANCEE IS TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE...VERY WORRIED THAT SOMETHING COULD HAPPEN TO ME. MY CLOSE FRIEND I TOLD AFTER I FINISHED ALL OF MY TESTING, I DID NOT TELL HER SOONER BECAUSE I KNEW HER VIEWS ON THESE KINDS OF THINGS. COME TO FIND OUT SHE HAS BEEN VERY SUPPORTIVE, AND WISHES ME NOTHING BUT THE BEST. MY SISTER WAS JUST ASKING ME IF I TOLD PEOPLE AT WORK, NO I HAVE NOT BECAUSE I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANY NEGATIVITY 2 DAYS BEFORE MY SURGERY. I WILL PROBABLY TELL A FEW WHEN I COME BACK TO WORK. SO BEST OF LUCK TO YOU.