I was "outed" tonite and a bit po'd

I was at a party tonight when someone asked in front of several people how I lost so much weight - did I have weight loss surgery?  I am almost at goal and I reluctantly admitted it and now I am rather annoyed.  Why are people so rude?  Why did I feel the need to be honest?  Why do I care what other people think?  Sometimes I think that people think I took the "easy way out" but I worked hard to change my eating habits and I ride my bike 12 miles a day, two to three times a week.  I attend OA to understand why I use food for comfort.  I am working on myself daily and OOOOHHH I just had to vent. Thanks for listening....

I know how you feel. I tell most people that I have had surgery, however I was caught off gaurd one night and simply stated I was watching my portions and excerising more. I was telling the truth  just did not feel I could tell this person everything. Anyway, I have learned that by telling people about my journey I have encouraged others to look into it and a few have had the surgery after I shared with them my experiences thus far.  Be proud of your decision and don't let this worry you. People will think what they want no matter what we say. Christie 386/ 306/ 150

Becuase People are RUDE. Ya know, I have no problem screaming it from the roff top that I had surgery. THEN I give them the details of what it means, all the work, etc. I feel that being open and honest about it takes it out of the stigma that we live under. The more people that realize the work and the joy you get from it, the more educated less rude people there will be. You've worked your butt off, don't let them treat or make you feel any different. YOUR AWESOME!

Becasue after years of watching Jerry Springer they feel entitled. I am sorry, but this exact thing is why I say never tell anyone you would not tell that you murdered someone. IF they cannot keep a secret, they need to know nothing. As far as people who rudely inquire, My stock response is ti thanks them for their compliment and ignore the request for the additional information. IF they persist, I smile and sya, ISn't that a personal questions? and let them feel them feel embarraced about being too forward.

I am going to be brutally honest here because frankly that's what I'm good at, but you said it yourself Why do I care about what other people think??  It is your body and your decision.  Until they walk a mile in your shoes they have no clue where you have been or where you are going.  I always say don't do something you are going to have to be ashamed of or apologize for later.  It sounds to me like you are ashamed of having WLS.  There is nothing to be ashamed about, you should be proud of where you have been and where you are now.  Don't let someone else bring you down.  I would have been happy that they did it in a group so I only had to explain myself once.  Maybe my mindset will change as I get further out but right now I am proud of my band and the decision I have made. And for those idiots who think that this is the easy way out then they have another thing coming to them.  This is by no means the easy way and we all know it.  I would be damned if someone told me this was the easy way.  Like I said be proud of who you are, where you have been and what you have accomplished.  Don't let anyone and I mean anyone bring you down.

You see, Your response about being ashamed is exactly what I am talking about. I am not ashamed when I have a very nice intimate moment with my husband but it is not up for discussion with anyone else. I am not ashamed that of a lot of stuff that is NOBODY'S BUSINESS., We ahve turned into a population that feels compelled to foist all their information on others and as a result, feels entitled to know whatever they want to know when they want to know it. It is rude and insensitive and reveals a lack of upbringing. IF ANYONE asked me a private question in a group  they would get the brutally honest answer you talk about, that being...what business is it of theirs?

I have learned through my adoption journey a really good response is "why are you asking?" This opens up the conversation, the ones who are just being noisy get embarassed and go away, the ones who are intrested in maybe doing it for themselves, now have an opening to ask their questions. 
Laurie

Oh that sux to be put on the spot. Now that the secret is out - just live it up! Be proud of your decision and focus on the positive. I find that most people are genuinely interested. I knew in my small community that I couldn't keep it a secret, and I've been AMAZED how many friends I've made from people who came up and said, "I heard you had WLS, and I think that's awesome! You look great!" I even met 2 fellow Bandsters in my community! I don't think it's rude to ask, personally. I think many are just interested. Sure there are some with mean intentions, but I think most people are just curious. You don't have to share any more than you want to, but now that it's out, join my camp and get some t-shirts that say, "My Lap Band ROCKS!" LOL!!  Seriously, you've done an amazing job!

Well I tell everyone because if my experience can help one person than it is worth telling everyone besides I am happy I look the way I do and even if it wasn't anyones business maybe it might help another person make up thier mind

Look at the bright side.  You have lost enough weight in a short amount off time for people to notice !!! I sometimes feel tempted to blurt out that I had WLS, but I really don't want to discuss it with anyone who has not had it or is considering having it.  I don't think that many people who are not in the same boat would understand.  I don't like to justify myself for anything so I just keep my mouth shut. However, just forget about them and don't let it bother you anymore.  You are doing an amazing job and you should be proud and thankful!!!   They don't matter.