OT: family wants to put our dog to sleep bc of incontinence! need advice :(

  You love her and she has been a faithful loving dog to you and the family all these years .I feel you at least owe her  these last precious moments of life together, actually for the both of you... however short her time she has left is ,  Listen to your heart do not listen to  others  do what you feel is right& just .When this precious freind does finally pass.. you can honsestly say in your heart you did everyting humanly  possible for her. there are doggy diapers and thousands of poeple use them on their dogs each and every day  just like they do wtih people in nursing homes they do not put them to sleep because of it  It would not bother me anymore to change and wipe an old dogs butt anymore than it would a baby's butt or an old or sick person it is simply  necessary and that is that .. of course a package of latex gloves  always helps even a pkge of babywipes  you can throw them all away afterwards  if you feel a little squeamish or if she does make a poo they sell boxes of them at Walmart in the pharmacy very reasonable   .. Millions of old and/or sick folks pee and poo all over themselves.. they sell adult diapers everywhere  also thousands perhaps millions of menatl disables wear diapers   many peope wear siapers who are incontinent becuase of illnesees and they carry on holding jobs, driving , and  taking care of their families everyday ,you would never know they wore diapers .I am confused  about  others telling you that it is  cruel to leave a human in this state .Are they saying we should pull the plug on those that are incontinent ? or are becoming defenseless and need care?    After your dear furry freind passes on you are the one who will carry the burden for life on how she was treated in her final days...from your post you seem to have a good heart ,although right now it is a heavy heart .. 

If she isn't in pain,   I would NOT put her down.   I had to put one of my cats to sleep a little over a week ago.  It was HORRIBLE and I still cry every day about it.   She could no longer walk due to kidney failure and was crying in pain.  I knew I had to do it.  In the last few months of her life,  she was having accidents in the house.   I simply cleaned it up.   She was a great ,  loving cat and I wasn't going to put her down one minute before I had to.    I gotta tell you....I don't regret cleaning up after her one bit.   I'd give almost anything to have more time with her as long as she didn't have to suffer.

I would Never put a dog down for that! You can use doggie diapers or even baby diapers. I used them on one of my dogs with good success. She was a 30 lb mixed pup and wore a size 3. I cut an "X" in the back for her tail and strapped them on. She did wonderful. I had to give her more baths to make sure she was clean, but it worked wonders. Good luck and enjoy your pup as long as possible.

What kind of tests has your vet done?   There are other reasons for incontinence. My dog had a bladder stone which caused her to lose control.  She had to have an expensive surgery (sorry) to remove it, but she is absolutely perfect now.  Although there are different types of stones, and some respond to a change in diet.  

I say diapers.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. My thoughts are with you.

As far as quality of life and longevity are concerned, this is a pretty tough question to answer and I really think that it's a personal decision that you must make.

I counsel people on this topic all the time, though, and I can tell you what I would tell them.

You should choose three things that your pet loves to do. It might be riding in the car, eating cheeseburgers, going for walks, chasing a ball. As he gets older or, maybe, sicker, he will cease being able to do these things that he loves. When one thing is gone, like chasing the ball, it's ok because he might take up a new activity like sleeping in front of the fireplace. However, when you can no longer find even one thing that he loves to do, it might be time to reevaluate the situation.

As far as guilty feelings go, you should not feel guilty if you decide that your pet is no longer living a happy, content, productive life and you help him to go on to a better place. You have to remember all the good times that you have had with him. We are lucky in that we are allowed to help our pets to move on. Sometimes I wish that we could do the same for people.

When you think it's time for euthanasia, you can make an appointment with your vet. They will give him a small sedative. When he's calm and relaxed, they will insert a needle into a vein and the medication will stop his heart. It's not painful and I have assisted at many of these. It's harder on the owner than it is on the pet.

If you are more comfortable doing it at home, ask your vet to refer you to a mobile vet to do the procedure at your house.

Let me know if you have more questions. And please know that you are in my thoughts.

they keep telling me that it would be cruel to leave a human in that state -- unable to care for him/herself, incontinent, deaf, and blind -- but aren't dogs different?  That's really comparing apples and oranges: pets are ALWAYS unable to care for themselves (no matter when humans would like to believe), and we are NOT allowed to "put humans to sleep", no matter how much they would like it or what state they are in. Okay, here's my two cents. If it was an incontinance issue ALONE, that's one thing. If your hardwood floors and antique rugs are that much of a concern, put the rugs away, put down pee pads, and keep going with your best friend until it really IS time. She deserves it. We have a young beagle who has pee issues because he was attacked and almost killed by a pit, almost lost a kidney and suffered permanent kidny damage. Would we put him down because of it? No. We had a 16-year-old cat that had incontinence issues, as well. However, she was diabetic, had end-stage kidney disease along with feline dementia, and was unable to stay hydrated. Two sit-down discussions with our vet led to the decision that she was seriously unhealthy, unhappy, and probably in some amount of pain, and would not be getting any better. We (the vet and I) together made the decision that it her time. And yes, I stayed with her to the very end. I felt that I owed her that much. The vet told me that most people can't do that, and just desert their animals when the pet needs them the most. Since your dog is elderly, and has general quality of life issues - the deafness and blindness, what's called for here is a heart-to-heart with your vet. YOU TWO should be making this decision, not all the "theys" in your life,  who don't have to do it.

If there is no pain, I would put her in diapers and a doggy play pen.  Dogs are den animals by nature-and a blind dog would feel more comfortable in famiiar consistent surroundings.  My two oldest dogs spend a lot of time curled up in the bathroom-it's the only carpeted place in the house and very warm.  It's their choice-dogs don't say "oh, I'm in a bathroom...."dogs say I am in a warm, safe place (away from the younger dogs and the cranky old cat).

I put pads down when it gets into the 20's-the two old girls (they are tiny chihuahuas) just can't take the freezing weather to go outside.

Most animals, including dogs, will stop eating when they are ready to die.  I'm not a big advocate of forcefeeding an elderly animal who is ready to go-just make them warm and comfortable.

When I have had to put dogs down, I go in with them, hold them, and do not cry until after they are gone.  I make loving eye contact and let them go out knowing they were loved, so there is no fear (at least from my actions).

As hard as this may sound it may be time for her.  Just because she does not "look" like she is in pain she may very well be.  In older dogs internal issues arise alot.  I would have full blood work done on her to make sure there are no underlying causes to her peeing all the time.  Make sure they check her liver and kidney functions.  If everything comes back clean go with the diapers, but be prepared incase something does show up.  I've had to put several animals down including 3 of my beloved horses not a fun thing to do, but sometimes we have no choice.  I hope its nothing and she will just need the diapers. Best of luck. Jenn

I would try confining her to an area where there is nothing that she can damage when you are not around to watch her.  With my dog I blocked off a small hallway and powder room.  I put a board up that I could step over but that she could not jump over so that she would not feel isolated.  I covered the entire floor with blankets and old towels and put pee pads on top of them.  Depends (there are cheaper generics as well) makes some pretty big ones to put on beds and stuff.  When I was home, I put blankets with pee pads on them in her favorite places to sleep.  It worked out well for me.  I don’t think that you should let anyone force you to say good bye when you are not ready.  I hope this and the other posts on this thread help you through this.  I know how hard it is.