When do I tell him....

You should tell him when the time feels right.  My guess is that isn't now or you would have told him in your online conversations. 

As for the eating thing.  When I went on my first date post-surgery (about 10 months after), we shared a couple of appetizers - it was a "go out for drinks after work" type of date.  When I had a very small amount of each and nothing more he said something like, "I am beginning to think I made the wrong choices...."  To which I replied, "No, you made very good choices.  I am just choosing not to eat more."  He was good with it. 

I suggest you have a couple of lines like that rehearsed.  That way if it comes up you won't be fumbling around for what to say.  And, if you decide to answer the question with 'I have a lapband..." that is all good too.

Good luck and have fun on your date!

I couldnt agree with Vicki more ,, she has the right idea,,

Sara,

There's absolutely no need to disclose anything personal like WLS or other surgeries until you know someone very well.  Do you think you'll have to explain your lap-band scars on your first date?  If so, may I suggest that you don't need to be getting naked with someone quite that soon?  Maybe I'm an old prune - but maybe not - I was pretty promiscuous in my heydey (I was a flower-child of the 60's) - but when a guy I was all hot for once questioned my old hernia incision, I told him I didn't want to discuss it. 

I met my husband through a blind date and he fell in love with me the way I was then, and stayed in love with me even when I gained 100 lbs.  If the guy is a keeper, he's a keeper.  If he's going to judge you based on your weight, you don't need him in your life.

As for explaining how little you eat, you can always say, "I'm not very hungry tonight," "I had a big lunch", "I'm having routine blood tests tomorrow", "I just had stomach surgery" (could be gallbladder, right?), or "I'm trying to watch what I eat."  What's the worst thing than could happen as a result of that?  If he said, "You don't look like you need to watch what you eat," wouldn't you be thrilled and just say, "Thank you"?  Chose something from the menu that you think you'll enjoy, and be sure to tell him how much you like it.  Ask for a "to-go" box and tell your date you want to be able to enjoy the food again tomorrow.

If he can't deal with that, ditch him.

Good luck!

Jean

Tell him when he gives you the 2 carat flawless diamond and is serious about the relationship.  This actually is a good question.  I assume you are just going to meet for coffee and check each other out.  Let him do most of the talking and see what makes him tick before revealing any information about yourself.  Please be careful, I have had a few friends who have had bad experiences with internet dating.  Remember you have to kiss a lot of toads, before you find a prince.  Also what are your goals, fun, friends, marriage?

I forgot to say also, that i had met a few but made them come into my Rest  in Dayona to meet them with people around heck I had been married just shy of 25 yrs and didnt know what to do with a new person any more lol.. one guy sat at the bar and drank about 2 pots of coffee and finally I told him its almost closing time I think u have to drink up pal .. he laughed,, he said he liked my personality,, and i said well ty ,, I try to be friendly with my customers,, well here him and i had talked on aol too.. but I didnt know who he was since i never saw a pic of him.. He was really good looking and scared me actually and no I didnt date him,, we just became bingo buddies,, I met another man also that owned his own business in Michigan and he flew to Daytona to meet,, what a nut,, walked in one morn and had on speedos and i almost fainted and said ,, this might be Daytona Beach but u cant dress like that in a rest.. no way.. well he would up being only half my age and liked my daughter.. whoooo what a relief.. but she didnt like him.. I kept going back to hubbys pic all the time for some reason just something about him that I like.. but our frist date, I took my daughter with me and we met at a jam session that my customer invited us to and had him meet me there.  We almost didnt know what to say lol. he told me we should have brought our lap tops to talk ,, my daughter helped that out tho she kept up the conversation.. well after seeing the wonderfull smile,, those big blue eyes and his great personality,, that was the end for me lol.. so thats my story. hope im done now im sure all of u are too.. sorry for gabbing.. I just like to tell my sucess stories.. lyn

 Plenty of posts here to help you out but just to add my story to help you ... I met my dh online in 2000 and we were married in 2002-I was my heaviest when we got married. it's almost better that way... we just clicked. he was the first guy that I never got tired of! lots of long nights just talking and talking! it was wierd. we are best friends today. i never knew it could be this good. but i can honestly tell you that he loves me for me, my personality, my faith and not just how I look. it's hard to believe that he fell in love with me during my heaviest years but as usual I wasn't giving myself enough credit. so with that said, i hope you have a fantastic first date and just be yourself. otherwise you are wasting your time!
heather

Hi Sara,
I too have been dating on line since the summer of my surgery (06) and I tell the guys right up front about my surgery, and I will say most of them have a family member or a friend that has has wls.  They have all given me alot of support and understand why I cannot eat much.  I do not not go into alot of detail but most of the time they are very understanding and ask very intelligent questions.  Good luck and have a great time on ur date.

Pat R

I told my partner on the second date.  It didn't make a lick of difference other than educating him that I can eat most things, just MUCH smaller amounts than him...

I've met some guys online too and have not told any of them about the surgery.  There was one guy I was going to tell, we had gone out a few times and I was working out the courage but then things between us stopped and so it never got that far.  Then there was a guy that it was going really well but for some reason, it never really crossed my mind about telling him.  Maybe I was just enjoying our time together so much that I didn't really think about it??  In the end, it's always in the back of my mind that I'll have to tell someone at some point.  My thought is that I'd like to know it's going to work out between us first.  My weight has always been a sensitive subject for me, so to bring it up is hard enough...then to throw in the WLS part...that's even harder because even though I'm proud of myself, I still have that "people are going to look down on me" feeling.  Some people yell it to everyone they meet that they had surgery.  Not me.  The only people that know are my 2 best friends and my parents.  I've been able to hide it well, I have a brother and sister and at work all my co-workers eat lunch together and they just think I eat weird.  If I'm at a restaraunt, I make sure to order something I can eat...soup, salad, taco salad, fish.
It seems like from the different guys I've met, I think some I felt more comfortable with that I'd be able to tell them and some I felt there was no reason to tell.  I also think it's different with people that know me and have known me for years, if it came down to it, I'd have no problem telling those people because they know how much I've struggled. 
I don't know what to tell you except that you'll know when to tell him.

And good luck meeting the new man!  I hope it works out wonderfully!