THE FEED BAG

I told you I was all out of whack.  And to think, I once ran a support group for Barix Clinics in PA.  There was a time when I knew what to eat and what not to eat.  You're right, I may as well just added some spaghetti in with the rice and potatos.  Okay, no potatos tonight.  How does some corn sound?  My ex from Maryland (won't mention names) was basically my dietician.  She absolutely had her **** together and had me eating right and exercising.  She was a GREAT support system.

The worst part is that I will be three years out on Sunday and when I struggle the way I have I really have no where to turn, other than here.  You know my deal with the PA board and most of them are regulars at the Barix support groups that I not only used to go to regularly but also help run.  I know I am more than welcome to attend because there is nothing that can be done about it.  I had my surgery there and have as much right to attend as the next person.  What I won't do is attend to just prove a point.  The group is for support and I don't need it to turn into the circus that I know it will if I were to show up.  So, out of respect for some that I maintain a friendship with over there, I have decided to stay away. 

It just comes at a bad time because I have really, really, REALLY lost focus.  My exercise is way off, my eating is borderline out of control and I haven 't taken a vitamin in ages.  I can actually feel it.  I need the support and there is only so much you can give and get online.  It really is a shame the way everything went down.  There are only a handful of us involved in things that went down and the rest that have decided to keep their distance from me have only heard one side of the story.  I refuse to go over there and add fuel to the proverbial fire.  I have to do this on my own and get back on track somehow.

First of all, I may be one of the few on here that's privvy to what happened or what's been alleged (NOTE: No one need bother ask, because it's not my place to discuss).  I don't care at this point, because you've done nothing wrong HERE, and this is all I'm worried about.  That being said, IF you (or anyone) were to wrong one of our folks here, I'd be the first to draw, quarter and serve your heart, and yes, your liver, too, with fava beans and a nice Chianti!!!  However, innocent until proven guilty, as I've said to you privately.

PA is done.  Try to move on.  IF you did something wrong, if you wronged ANYONE, step up and be a man and apologize.  Whether those people wronged CHOOSE to accept it is their business.  I DON'T feel like the PA Board or the R&R Board is the place to air or offer any apologies, so I'd do it all privately.  Again, be ready for the backlash, but be the man that you hope your son will also become one day and do the right thing.  The caveat being if you really think you did something wrong.  

As far as support, you'd be AMAZED at how much you actually CAN get from here.  The trick is to BE here as often as you can.  Trust me, not everyone is chained to a desk like I am.  Another resource, hopefully within biking distance for you, is the public library.  There are SOOOO many wls books out there now.

You seem like a smart guy - you KNOW what to eat.  And no, corn's no good in my book.  Remember, protein first and THEN and only then, good, complex carbs.  Corn's a starchy veg, and IMHO, of no real value - unless of course, it's Eastern Shore Silver Queen corn, drenched with butter, salt and pepper!!!  Dammit, I digress.

Get your act together with the vitamins, too.  You have TWO children who need you, and once you find a job, you need to be on your game to be able to work full time to support them and hopefully, have some sort of life, too!!

Again, PA is done.  My advice would be to NOT discuss it or anyone involved with that debacle here in the open - you're right, it's going to invite the ire and fire that the Maryland Board doesn't need.  Trust me, not everyone's gonna like you - I'd be afraid to poll to see how many people like me as opposed to not, but this board isn't a popularity contest, even though some assume I think it is. 

We're all here for each other for support.  You want to talk to me about PA, PM me - other than that, let's not blur the lines!!!!

Lastly......look at how far you've come!!!  You CANNOT argue with success.

Tia

Yesterday I just was not very hungry...

B- Greek yogurt mixed with SF strawberry preserves
L- Light Babybel Cheese and some pumpkin seeds
D- New Orleans Jambalaya (home made with orzo instead of rice)
S- 2/3 of a protein bar

64 oz of water and all my vitamins... I slacked on the protein yesterday... just couldn't eat it all.

MoeMoe -

Trust me, I have days like that, too, even at almost 4 years out.  Sometimes, you just don't WANT to eat.  Jeesh!!!  Didja EVER think you'd feel that way??

You did right - just do the absolute best you can - Scarlett, tomorrow's another day!!!

Hugs!

Thanks... I'm starving today though!!!  Hahah... I guess it all evens out in the long run!

Hi everyone!

B - two boiled eggs
L - Now that I remember what I had for breakfast, I can't remember what I had for lunch!  DAMMIT All to Heaven!
D - 4 1/2 Popeye's Spicy strips

You are SUCH a goober!!!!!!

Honestly - I'm ticked!  I was like okay I had eggs, I had eggs, I had two eggs, I had two cooked eggs, I had boiled eggs, I love me some biscuits with mustahd, and some french fried potatos emm-hemmm, I had eggs, I had boiled eggs, not soft but hard boiled eggs, not scrambled.

so concerned about remembering what I had for breakfast had me forgetting what I had for lunch! 

Now I remember - chicken breast mesquite flavor (from Sam's Club)

See above!!!

Tia - have you ever seen Sling Blade with Billy Bob Thornton?  If not - you have got to check it out.......LOL