Why I haven't been posting
Well, I don't post very often (shame on me), but I have had one of the worst Augusts (months) of my life...
In June, the school year ended early, thus giving me a few unexpected days off. Always a good thing. Well, during this time, I was notifed that two good friends had cancer. In the end of June, I made a trip home..where I had the opportunity to visit (in a hospice house) one of my friends. Sadly, she didn't recognize me at all. I had to bring in "fat" photos for her to "realize" who I was. She responded to the photos..and often sung "Oh Danny Boy" while I was visitng. Well, I left top come back home, knowing that I would never see her again.
In early July, I left for a wonderful nine night cruise to New England and Canada. It was a wonderful trip. Beautiful nature, terrific ship, incredible service, great food!!! However, prior to the cruise, I was able to see another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily it has been caught early enough that major precautions and actions can be put into place. While it was during this trip that my friend at home passes away.
Upon returning home, I started to spend more and more time with my next door neighbor. She has been suffering with brain cancer for two years...and during these past few months, her health has been waining. Well, since mid July, I was going over daily, helping her out...cooking for her and her husband, etc.
Well, I got a phone call from home, and was told that a very close friend of mine died. It was difficult for me because she has been in my life for over 30 years. She was my second mother..my life mentor...and my inspiration. I ended up flying home for the memorial service..and again I was in a situation in which I wasn't recognized. Finally the family asked who I was and when they realized who I was...they asked to get together to talk about her and mine relationship. Needless to say, the only loss in my life that I could imagine being more painful would be my own mother. What made this so difficult and painful was that I was an out-sider and pretty alone...
Upon returning home, I ended up taking care of my neighbor. I spent many times a day picking her up when she fell, feeding her, etc...As the days went on, things really began to get worse. It got to the point that I finally told her husband to contact hospice ( I have worked with them for years). I also told him he needed to prepare for the end. Well, on August 10th.. I told him that things weren't right with her..and that I didn't foresee her lasting more then a week. This is when he called in hospice. They told him the same. On Monday, she went into a coma...and each day I was there..helping out. Well, without going into a lot of details.. one week later... I ended up (at 10pm) telling him and his sons that she had passed away. I sat with her till hospice came to declare her deceased... I ended up helping the funeral parlor people wrap her up and carry her out of the house. I then started the process of support for her husband...her children....and a neighbor.
All in all, it has been pretty tough. I had my three year annivesary and I am up to 170 pounds... origionally from 340..down to 155. I hate being 15 pounds heavier... HATE IT...but the doctor is thrilled. He wants another five or ten pounds added to my frame...NOT!!! I want to get back to the 150s... I hate how I feel, but in my head, I know that I am at my healthiest.
I have had some good times... my cruise, a beach day, etc... but, all in all...it has been pretty rough. I really haven't been myself. I am pretty exhausted..drained...and I am dealing with waves of saddness. I am not really depressed. I definitely do not need medication. I know that I have to deal with sadness and suffering....and I would definitely like to deal with it while downing a chocolate milkshake...but I will okay. Things will get better...
Needless to say, this is why I haven't been aroudn this summer. Thought I would finally share my issues...only because I knew that some of you have been concerned. I am okay.. I like the Phoenix...will be reborn from the ashes... Yes, call me a Drama Lover!!!!
In June, the school year ended early, thus giving me a few unexpected days off. Always a good thing. Well, during this time, I was notifed that two good friends had cancer. In the end of June, I made a trip home..where I had the opportunity to visit (in a hospice house) one of my friends. Sadly, she didn't recognize me at all. I had to bring in "fat" photos for her to "realize" who I was. She responded to the photos..and often sung "Oh Danny Boy" while I was visitng. Well, I left top come back home, knowing that I would never see her again.
In early July, I left for a wonderful nine night cruise to New England and Canada. It was a wonderful trip. Beautiful nature, terrific ship, incredible service, great food!!! However, prior to the cruise, I was able to see another friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer. Luckily it has been caught early enough that major precautions and actions can be put into place. While it was during this trip that my friend at home passes away.
Upon returning home, I started to spend more and more time with my next door neighbor. She has been suffering with brain cancer for two years...and during these past few months, her health has been waining. Well, since mid July, I was going over daily, helping her out...cooking for her and her husband, etc.
Well, I got a phone call from home, and was told that a very close friend of mine died. It was difficult for me because she has been in my life for over 30 years. She was my second mother..my life mentor...and my inspiration. I ended up flying home for the memorial service..and again I was in a situation in which I wasn't recognized. Finally the family asked who I was and when they realized who I was...they asked to get together to talk about her and mine relationship. Needless to say, the only loss in my life that I could imagine being more painful would be my own mother. What made this so difficult and painful was that I was an out-sider and pretty alone...
Upon returning home, I ended up taking care of my neighbor. I spent many times a day picking her up when she fell, feeding her, etc...As the days went on, things really began to get worse. It got to the point that I finally told her husband to contact hospice ( I have worked with them for years). I also told him he needed to prepare for the end. Well, on August 10th.. I told him that things weren't right with her..and that I didn't foresee her lasting more then a week. This is when he called in hospice. They told him the same. On Monday, she went into a coma...and each day I was there..helping out. Well, without going into a lot of details.. one week later... I ended up (at 10pm) telling him and his sons that she had passed away. I sat with her till hospice came to declare her deceased... I ended up helping the funeral parlor people wrap her up and carry her out of the house. I then started the process of support for her husband...her children....and a neighbor.
All in all, it has been pretty tough. I had my three year annivesary and I am up to 170 pounds... origionally from 340..down to 155. I hate being 15 pounds heavier... HATE IT...but the doctor is thrilled. He wants another five or ten pounds added to my frame...NOT!!! I want to get back to the 150s... I hate how I feel, but in my head, I know that I am at my healthiest.
I have had some good times... my cruise, a beach day, etc... but, all in all...it has been pretty rough. I really haven't been myself. I am pretty exhausted..drained...and I am dealing with waves of saddness. I am not really depressed. I definitely do not need medication. I know that I have to deal with sadness and suffering....and I would definitely like to deal with it while downing a chocolate milkshake...but I will okay. Things will get better...
Needless to say, this is why I haven't been aroudn this summer. Thought I would finally share my issues...only because I knew that some of you have been concerned. I am okay.. I like the Phoenix...will be reborn from the ashes... Yes, call me a Drama Lover!!!!
Daniel Patrick Fluharty, NBCT
Be yourself, nobody can tell you that you are doing it wrong!!
Daniel,
So sorry for your life draining losses.
That is always So Tough.
Give yourself time to deal with those thoughts,
And the memories.
It takes the time it takes...no such thing as rushing it.
I'm so glad to read-
"...the doctor is thrilled......
...I know that I am at my healthiest."
Go with the Doc on this one!
Get him to promise to go with your career expertise if ever he needs your advice.
Fall is here and Life will move on.
Go with it, at its pace.
You can't push the river!
__________________
Best Wishes-
Dx
So sorry for your life draining losses.
That is always So Tough.
Give yourself time to deal with those thoughts,
And the memories.
It takes the time it takes...no such thing as rushing it.
I'm so glad to read-
"...the doctor is thrilled......
...I know that I am at my healthiest."
Go with the Doc on this one!
Get him to promise to go with your career expertise if ever he needs your advice.
Fall is here and Life will move on.
Go with it, at its pace.
You can't push the river!
__________________
Best Wishes-
Dx
Capricious; Impulsive, Semi-Predictable 
Hi Dan,
I did not know you from before but I am responding to your loses that are so many and deep. I wish you time to take care of yourself as you have taken care of others.
And speaking as a new post op those protien chocolate shakes made with the blened ice are pretty dang good.
Treat your self.
Take Care and my thoughs are with you.
Marc
I did not know you from before but I am responding to your loses that are so many and deep. I wish you time to take care of yourself as you have taken care of others.
And speaking as a new post op those protien chocolate shakes made with the blened ice are pretty dang good.
Treat your self.Take Care and my thoughs are with you.
Marc
Drama Lover NOT NOT NOT
You have gone through a lot this summer and have handled it really well. I am glad you have decided to share it with us. We are always here for you..
Take time to relax an remember the good times. Make the protein shake. Let the healing process begin.
Definitely keep posting. Paying it forward is one way of getting things out
You have gone through a lot this summer and have handled it really well. I am glad you have decided to share it with us. We are always here for you..
Take time to relax an remember the good times. Make the protein shake. Let the healing process begin.
Definitely keep posting. Paying it forward is one way of getting things out
Daniel, so sorry to hear about all these losses at once .. It seems when it rains, it pours, as they say .. 
On the subject of cancer, I can't emphasize enough how important it is for anyone who has what looks to be terminal c. to try to get to either M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston or Duke U. Medical Center for the latest in treatments at either place. They really are working with some new miracle, mostly experimental drugs at both places and having great success with them.
I have had buds that both had very poor prognoses who transferred for treatment at M.D. Anderson. One had throat cancer so bad they (U. of Iowa Med. Center) basically wanted to cut almost everything out of his throat and send him home to die. He said, "no way in hell" and went down to M.D.
They put him on a new drug there, and, w/o surgery at all, he is now cancer free, a few months later. 
My other bud was originally being treated at his local hospital in Pensacola, FL for a return, many years later, of his melanoma. The c. was now throughout the upper part of his body. M.D. put him on an experimental drug that had so far only been used in animal trials and he has had 1/2 of the tumours disappear and the other 1/2 shrink by at least 50%. His docs there are confident that if he stays on the stuff he will make a full recovery in about a year or so. He recently went on a trip to the Smokey Mountains on his Harley with some of his biker buds.
I have a client that had brain cancer and, although locally the surgeons here were able to remove most of it with the "Gamma Knife" (a radiological tool), there was a part wrapped around her brain stem that could not be cut into with the GK.
She transferred to Duke and there they put her on a new drug. The remaining part of the c. is now mostly gone and her docs at Duke give her a "97% chance" of a full recovery. 
Both places are pretty hard to get into b/c they are so full up (quite understandably), but be persistent and squeak loudly enough and a patient has a good chance of getting in ..
On the subject of cancer, I can't emphasize enough how important it is for anyone who has what looks to be terminal c. to try to get to either M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston or Duke U. Medical Center for the latest in treatments at either place. They really are working with some new miracle, mostly experimental drugs at both places and having great success with them.
I have had buds that both had very poor prognoses who transferred for treatment at M.D. Anderson. One had throat cancer so bad they (U. of Iowa Med. Center) basically wanted to cut almost everything out of his throat and send him home to die. He said, "no way in hell" and went down to M.D.
They put him on a new drug there, and, w/o surgery at all, he is now cancer free, a few months later. My other bud was originally being treated at his local hospital in Pensacola, FL for a return, many years later, of his melanoma. The c. was now throughout the upper part of his body. M.D. put him on an experimental drug that had so far only been used in animal trials and he has had 1/2 of the tumours disappear and the other 1/2 shrink by at least 50%. His docs there are confident that if he stays on the stuff he will make a full recovery in about a year or so. He recently went on a trip to the Smokey Mountains on his Harley with some of his biker buds. I have a client that had brain cancer and, although locally the surgeons here were able to remove most of it with the "Gamma Knife" (a radiological tool), there was a part wrapped around her brain stem that could not be cut into with the GK.
She transferred to Duke and there they put her on a new drug. The remaining part of the c. is now mostly gone and her docs at Duke give her a "97% chance" of a full recovery. Both places are pretty hard to get into b/c they are so full up (quite understandably), but be persistent and squeak loudly enough and a patient has a good chance of getting in ..
Frank talk about the DS / "All I ever wanted to be was thin, like that Rolling Stones dude ... "
HW/461 LW/251 GW/189 CW/274 (yep, a DS semi-failure - it happens :-( )
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