Social Settings & my first post
Hi guys,
My name is Eric and I had my surgery back on August 4th. To date I'm down 64 pounds, so I'm off to a great start. For the last month or so I've come on the men's forum and read what folks posted. I have to say it's very informative and folks are pretty motivating on here.
I'm writing because I'm feeling uncomfortable in social settings. Which I guess is kind of weird because you would think I'd be more comfortable with the weight lose. But I've gone out a few times with friends to a bar or club recently, and I don't feel comfortable. It is really strange for me feeling like this. Prior to WLS I was always the one my buddies looked to for having a good time while we were out and about. Of course we would always have more than our share of beers, but I always felt comfortable and was the leader of the pack.
I think, well I know what has me down. I can't have a drink. My buddies (all are very supportive) joke around with me saying where is our buddy Eric? It's like the "Frank the Tank" moment on Old School until he does a kegger. I'm trying to get use to the new "me" when I'm out, but it really has me down. I just don't feel right. To make light of this I called my best friend and asked him what do you do with your hands? My best friend isn't a drinker, so I was joking with him that I feel out of whack because I don't have a beer or two in my hands. So I was trying to find out what to do with my hands.
Anyways I know this is probable a stupid issue but wanted to see what you guys thought. I'm sure as things progress things will get easier.
Take Care,
Eric
My name is Eric and I had my surgery back on August 4th. To date I'm down 64 pounds, so I'm off to a great start. For the last month or so I've come on the men's forum and read what folks posted. I have to say it's very informative and folks are pretty motivating on here.
I'm writing because I'm feeling uncomfortable in social settings. Which I guess is kind of weird because you would think I'd be more comfortable with the weight lose. But I've gone out a few times with friends to a bar or club recently, and I don't feel comfortable. It is really strange for me feeling like this. Prior to WLS I was always the one my buddies looked to for having a good time while we were out and about. Of course we would always have more than our share of beers, but I always felt comfortable and was the leader of the pack.
I think, well I know what has me down. I can't have a drink. My buddies (all are very supportive) joke around with me saying where is our buddy Eric? It's like the "Frank the Tank" moment on Old School until he does a kegger. I'm trying to get use to the new "me" when I'm out, but it really has me down. I just don't feel right. To make light of this I called my best friend and asked him what do you do with your hands? My best friend isn't a drinker, so I was joking with him that I feel out of whack because I don't have a beer or two in my hands. So I was trying to find out what to do with my hands.
Anyways I know this is probable a stupid issue but wanted to see what you guys thought. I'm sure as things progress things will get easier.
Take Care,
Eric
Eric,
Glad to see you exit lurkdom!
Dealing with social situations as we are loosing weight is just another one of those things that we have to learn to deal with as we loose weight that they did not tell us about pre-op! As to what to do with your hands - hang onto a bottle of water. Anybody gives you any static explain to them, if their intoxication does not interfere with their comprehension, that since your surgery beer is off limits, or will be for awhile.
Never, and I mean NEVER, trust a fart!! 
Eric, Hell tell them your loss is their gain now they know theirs always a designated driver!
I've never been much of a drinker, when the wife and I go out she drinks her Capt. Morgan & Coke and I have my coffee. Never really caught any flack but really didn't care. This is a life changing experience in every realm and it will take a while to get comfortable with the new you. I guess to use a PC term redefining your self! Good Luck Rocky Top
I've never been much of a drinker, when the wife and I go out she drinks her Capt. Morgan & Coke and I have my coffee. Never really caught any flack but really didn't care. This is a life changing experience in every realm and it will take a while to get comfortable with the new you. I guess to use a PC term redefining your self! Good Luck Rocky Top
Great issue, Eric. When discussing the social changes which take place no longer being the life of the party as the "jolly fat man," I always think of a quote from Animal House when Dean Wormer informs John Belushi his gpa is "zero point zero." The Dean goes on to tell him, "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son" 
Things will indeed change for you socially but they are changes for the better....
Boner
Things will indeed change for you socially but they are changes for the better....
Boner
I used to drink but the doc said no alcohol never. WHen I am out I have my diet pop or a water and my friends are fine. How old are you? I would think it would be a bigger struggle if you are younger because I think the social pressure is there.
I think once you are out more it will get more comfortable. You may find yourself looking at your friends who drink differently though..
Don't forget you want to be aware the handle all the extra attention from the ladies.
I think once you are out more it will get more comfortable. You may find yourself looking at your friends who drink differently though..
Don't forget you want to be aware the handle all the extra attention from the ladies.
Welcome Eric! I'm glad you posted. You really sparked my interest with the hands comment. I've never drank alcohol, but always had a very social life, escpecially back in college. I could see how that would definately be a concern. First off, enjoy the free drinks! At least in Calif, Florida, and NY (only ones I've tried) bars have always offered free drinks for the designated driver. I always made my drinking friends get something for me while they got theirs ("how about something for our driver?") Now I usually get some kind of bitter-lemon drink and sip on it the whole night long.
On a larger note, I think the whole feeling of being out of place right now is one that most of us feel / felt when returning to calorie-centric activities. Just feel it out. Remember that you're the one concerned, and probably nobody around you cares, or notices. If your friends ride you too hard---they're not good enough friends.
I suspect you'll find your place in the group, and someone else will take up the "jolly fat man" role. And, more than likely, you'll find yourself enjoying new activities in their place. Hell, after your 100 mile bike ride you'll be too tired to go out dancing...what with the marathon tomorrow, and all.
Life is good.
-Jake
On a larger note, I think the whole feeling of being out of place right now is one that most of us feel / felt when returning to calorie-centric activities. Just feel it out. Remember that you're the one concerned, and probably nobody around you cares, or notices. If your friends ride you too hard---they're not good enough friends.
I suspect you'll find your place in the group, and someone else will take up the "jolly fat man" role. And, more than likely, you'll find yourself enjoying new activities in their place. Hell, after your 100 mile bike ride you'll be too tired to go out dancing...what with the marathon tomorrow, and all.
Life is good.
-Jake
Hi all,
Thank you for your responses, its great support and I appreciate it very much.
Jack, I'm 30 years old. My group of friends is very outgoing. I pick and choice wisely when to go out with them until I can get into a comfort zone.
Thank you again everyone. I look forward to being an active participant on the men's forum.
Take care.
Eric
Thank you for your responses, its great support and I appreciate it very much.
Jack, I'm 30 years old. My group of friends is very outgoing. I pick and choice wisely when to go out with them until I can get into a comfort zone.
Thank you again everyone. I look forward to being an active participant on the men's forum.
Take care.
Eric
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