Mind Games

Well i am 5 days away.

I am having some kind of mental tug of war.  My mental statis and emotions vary and it is starting to get old.  For the most partI was excited 24/7.  Now that the date is getting nearer a dose of reality kicks in sometimes.  I am afraid that I am often overreacting to 'scary' thoughts of complications.  It doesn't help that my wife asks me daily to promise her that I will be ok.  It doesn't upset me that she asks.  I think it is normal. But when she does it starts getting the ole' statistical thinker goin in my noggin.  Then I dwell on facts and numbers and different scenarios. 

The other night I had a 'surgery dream' and my wife and 7 kids were all standing around me while I was concious and watching my own open abdomen get rearranged.

Needless to say I am still excited but more grounded and the mood swings are already happening and I haven't even had the damn surgery yet. 

Any advice for getting my mind to be a little more 'middle of the road'?

Dang Dan...hate to say it, but you sound, I dunno....normal.  I think we ALL go through the mental stages you're referring to, the questions, the worries...even me as "just" a bander did.

It seems like your wife is just trying to say "I love you, and I'm scared"...understandable.  My preacher advice for getting in the middle of that road....prayer, meditation, conversation, time spent over the coming 4 days with family....and maybe a stiff Capn' & coke.

Post it all out...you know it helps to toss it on the wall and look at it.

 I just went balls to the wall and didn't think of the bad things that could potentially occur. My g/f was all upset about it and I just said listen, do you want me around for another 30 years or another 30 days/months? The surgery is the key to my living for a while longer! Just keep a level head about you and you'll be alright. It will all be over with before you know it. 

Yup Dan you are right on target. I was there and it was not good.

You know your self best. If you are one that can ignore things, do stuff to keep your mind on something else. If you are one that has to work through things then I think the idea to write it out is a really helpful one.

Me I did both as I seem to work both ways. I wrote about what I wanted from this surgery and what I saw that would be different. It was all about my kids and doing stuff with them that I could not do at my weight then.

Then I tossed it all up into the wind. I admitted I did not have control about what happened with the surgery. But I could control how I handled it. And IT was not here yet so no need worrying. I could handle what ever came. Might just be hard work. I knew I was making a decision that gave me the best chance to be around for my family. It was about letting go and only dealing with what I truly could change. Like making sure I stuck to my presurgery diet and anything else my Dr asked.

Yes there might be a hard road ahead. But chances are better that it will be a normal surgery with normal recovery. I choose to think positive. It was best for my health.

My two cents. Leave what does not seem right to you.

Well Dan it sounds like you got some great advice all very sound in their own . I don't think I can add anything that would give any comfort other then ; It will come and go before ya know.
I'm almost three years out and it seems like just like yesterday I was in the same place you are . ( should I , shoulden't I !?!?!? )


Good health and best wishes
Nick

I agree with all the other posts. You are normal - we all have these concerns before surgery. I was able to keep my brain on other things - right up till the morning of surgery. Then I really leaned on my wife to keep a level head, and lead with a steady hand. Things were very matter of fact, and I of course injected humor along the way. I recall asking the surgeon if he kept his promise NOT to go uut drinking the night before my surgery. We all laughed - and it eased my tension.

I had some really weird dreams too - especially after the surgery. Must have been the anesthesia. So - write it out, talk it out, pray it out, get your mind off it - whatever works best for you, and get ready for the best thing you could ever do for yourself and your family.

Hey Dan,

There are indeed risks with WLS but the odds are slim anything bad will happen. I had similar "noggin" thoughts as you and what helped me was thinking about my current life at 500 pounds vs. life at 200 pounds. I "saw my future" so to speak and it looked good. Of course, any kind of life would have looked good to me compared to how life was for me prior to WLS.

How do you see your future? Check out the profiles and read the messages from the men here in the locker room. Pretty damn successful group of winners if you ask me.

Best of luck,

Boner

 

 

Dan, guess what? You are NORMAL!  We all had apprehension along with anticipation concerning our surgery. It is a major surgery, and, as with any surgery, there is a chance for complications or problems. That said, the overall percentage of problems is pretty low.

Like Boner said, there are tremendous examples of the success of WLS right here on the Men's Board. Try to focus on all the positives that will occur after your surgery. Losing the fat, being able to function daily as a "normal" person, being able to exercise and getting healthier - improving your quality and probably the quantity of your life!

Congrats and good luck to ya!

Dan, this is entirely normal. You are about to make a life-changing move, a dramatic one. It's the unknown. It is also your best chance for a healthy, longer life.
I went through the same thing, second thoughts, fears, and I believe I even mentioned it on this very board. That was six months and 120 pounds ago. I had the usual minor complications (weakness post-op, dumping syndrome and a spell of feeling pissed off and depressed) and some unique ones (a three-week skin rash).
But here I am today, a little more than halfway to my goal and healthier -- and happier -- than I've been in 20 years.
Believe me: This is the best gift you can give your family, and yourself.
Hang in there, buddy.